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4/1/2006 c1 hack World
I love this fic, please up date soon!

I like your way of show this phase of Morgan
3/1/2006 c1 Wolfy
OOPS almost forgot what did Morgonna-sama mean in chapter one about Sora?
3/1/2006 c6 Wolfy
Me thinks Morgonna is going to have a hard time now. I wonder how her new friends will react if they hear the news. Not to mention C.C. corp's reactions. What is Aura up to these days anyways? And was that the "real" Sora or the AI one that helps you in the games. I'd like to see Tsukasa's reaction if he ever meets Morgona again.

It actually looks like she was kinda having a good time. Ah well back to work *shoots C.C. corp* Die!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
2/18/2006 c6 9Tylec Asroc
I guess the flashbacks to /Quarantine are the first reference; then there's the Princess Bride (I'm not left-handed!), but I couldn't catch the third. Probably something about that barrette.

You really made the battles interesting. Sora is still a hyperactive showboat, but it sounds like he's matured a bit, playing the gracious winner to Moonstone.
2/17/2006 c6 Chaos009
Great job! I really like the flashbacks, too; they added a different dimension. Balmung is DEFINITELY going to make life a lot harder for Morgana... I always thought he was kinda goody-good, despite all... Anyway, great job! I wanna know what happens next!

Returns to nothing, this world of the shadowless ones.

Never to return, the shadowed one who quests for the twilight dragon.

-Emma Weilant
2/15/2006 c5 Tylec Asroc
This is certainly a different approach to character. Morganna is totally analytical (Vulcan-like, I guess) but it seems like her interactions with previous characters can be called upon to integrate some more random, life-like responses. (I suppose Sora is the one who chatted manga with her).

In comparing The World against IRL culture and locations (the movie Dune, the city of Venice), Morganna's character "wavers" a bit, and the author's voice becomes present. If she can't even access the messageboards, I'm not sure how she'd comprehend the outer world, or concepts like work and school hours unless a PC directly imparted this to her.

I enjoyed the assessment of the Celtic/Christian legend of Morganna, and what it might reveal of her future. Speaking of future, sounds like Balmung will be a problem. And what about Aura and Zefie/MORti?

Who should win? Logically, Sora, from a stats pov. Who do I want to win? Grove would be best for plot purposes. Lane introduces Morganna to his winner brother, and all the losers will probably gravitate to the champion (for congratulations or a vindictive PK), thereby facilitating obachan's interactions with the "ghosts of her past".
12/28/2005 c5 7Katreda
1.I guess Kite because he did beat Morganna so he must really be strong

2.Huh... same as in 1.
12/26/2005 c5 Mandaa
Awsome job steeple^^ Oh btw it's me Black_Rose149^-^ This story is really intresting and I am looking forward to more!
12/22/2005 c5 53Sargent Snarky
Oh! I love the explination of the mythology behind the names of the World. ^_^ I know the roots of some of the names, but I didn't know the root of Macha.

Oh... -files it away in her storehouse of random trivia-

And the thought you put into this stuff... Really nice! The symbolisim connections/ parallels you draw are fascinating.

And Reki and Balmung! Yay! I like them. -nods- They make an interesting pair. (I don't mean romantically, by the way.) And the Balmugn Morgana interaction is cool.

The fans... XD Oh my, the fans... -is cracking up-

As for winners...

1) Personally, I think Sora and Kite ought to be in the final match, because they are among my favorite characters. In fact, they are in the top five. However, Sora ought not to win easily, given that Moonstone would be up there in levels. Still, Sora likely has his katars with their "Death" effect on them, so potentially, he could inflict said status-boosted hit on Moonstone. That bout ought to be entertaining. ^_^

As for Kite versus Grove. Well, obviously I side with Kite. But the reasons for that are that, at least in my run through of the games, I leveled Kite up to 99, and I'd given him all the stat boosting items I could get my claws on... except for some of the grunty race ones, 'cause I just was too lazy. Anyway, so by the time I'd done everything one could do in the game, Kite's stats were up there. Way higher than the AI Sora who joins your party. The only one with higher HP was Helba, although I do believe Sora /did/ have higher attack. Anyway.. Yeah. With that said, I really think Kite would win. I mean, come on! He's fast, he's powerful, he's cute, AND he has a dorky hat. Thus, he must win.

In the fight between Kite and Sora, I personally side with Kite winning. Sora needs to be humbled. ^_^ Just once. I mean, Sora pwns and all, but Kite pwns more. Plus, like that earlier reviewer Chris said, Kite has more HP than Sora by a lot, as well as some other better stats. Plus, the "Death" stat on Sora's blades could be compromised by Kite weilding a pair of his own Death inducing blades.

2) To be completely honest, Sora would pull a very slim victory over Moonstone, methinks. After all, Sora is a legendary PKer, and PKing is a bit different than monster fighting, which is what Moonstone does. Also, Sora might just annoy Moonstone to death. XD

Also, since I don't have any information on Grove, i've no honest idea how much of a fight he's put up against Kite. But, based on Kite's being level 99, I'm thinking Kite would probably win. Although, it would have to be a good fight, methinks. Grove couldn't possibly be a pushover.

Then, assuming the finals came down to Kite and Sora, I do believe it would be very close. Honestly, though, Kite would win in the end. Because he's Kite.

And I can so picture Sora staring with wide eyes, saying, "I... lost."

Then blinking and looking confused. But, during the fight... I'm sure there'd be plenty of "Boing"-ing. Because Sora likes to say Boing.

Yes.

Ok.. It's nearly four AM here, which explains why these reviews have been getting steadily more discombobulated...

So.. g'night...

And good luck with writing the next chapter!

Hey! Will Morgana meet Kite and would she recognize him, given that 'twas he who finally snuffed her phases?

And... ooh... I can't wait for the next installment!

(Granted, I've NO room to talk when it comes to slow updates.)

Consider this story Favorite-ed and Alert-ed.

Good luck with Finals! (( I just had midterms (or first semester Finals), so I sympathize with the stress. But it is a great relief when they're over. ))

Merry Christmas!
12/22/2005 c4 Sargent Snarky
That question about the cat is so familiar.. I SWEAR I read it someone in one of the games...

Wait... is Nezumi one of the random NPCs you run into in the root towns sometimes? Or, did you base him off of one of them?

Or is that line from an email?

Sorry... it's just... deja vu, I guess.

Anyway, like I said before, your knowledge of Japanese is lovely.

And... Wow. I'm having major deja vu... You know? I think I've read this chapter before. Or something... 'cause those riddles are scarily familiar, as well.

-is kind of creeped out, now-

Anyway, this chapter was very entertaining, I must say. ^_^ Nice character interacion. -nods-
12/22/2005 c3 Sargent Snarky
Mm... 'glares at her first review for this story'

Ok.. for some random reason, about half of my review was deleted. And that irks me, not that it's your fault. Still, I must take a few moments to fume.

...

...

Ok. Done now.

Although I'm still ticked because it deleted the actual review part of my review! -sniffle-

I'm sorry... Everything between "ei" and "nt" is missing... which is why it makes no sense...

What I DID say before it was deleted (more or less):

...

Haven't updated in a while, either. Oh well. Onto reviewing!

I like your premise very much, and the prologue is interesting. Some of it seems a little choppy, but that is only because of simplistic sentance structures. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as it kind of adds to the effect of Morganna being a developing entity. It would make sense to start simple.

By the way, eventually I'll get around to reading your Zelda fanfic. Dark Link is AWESOME!

Shameless plug warning:

If you have the chance, would you mind reading the LoZ fanfic I cowrote with a friend? (( unfortunatley, we're VERY slow in updating (and the most recent chapter had a very shoddy editing job), but that's because no one reads it, and that is kind of depressing. ))

,

YEah...

That's what was SUPPOSED to be in that review. Once again... Sorry!

Anyway, onto reviewing this chapter:

Your knowledge of Japanese is a lovely addition to the story, by the way. My knowledge of the honorifics, greetings and general phrases is shoddy at best, so I'm always impressed at other people's skills.

Looking at this chapter, I see only a couple typos and no missing punctuation, so I think the random missing commas and things may have been FF's fault in the last chapter.

I agree with your description of the fleshwall dungeons completely. They're bizarre... And... where do the eggs come from?

And... Morganna striking a pose. -pictures it and falls over laughing-

Also, the addition of the in game repercussions is nifty.

One question: How can she log out if she's an AI in the game?

I know Mia seems to log out several times in the game, but I've got to wonder... is she really logging out?

Squee! Next chapter...
12/21/2005 c2 Sargent Snarky
Wee! Chapter 1.

O.o -blinks- mah story was mentioned. -blush & grin- Glad that you think it's good. ^_^ Umm... I have this thing with making Morganna evil. She just fits my image of a spiteful, vengeful, powerful and slightly off-kilter villain. Heh.

Anyway... yay! Morganna has a friend!

Umm... This may be entirely fault, BUT you are missing some punctuation in your dialogue. For example:

"Thanks! I've been on my feet all day, and I'm looking forward to some adventuring. My name's Lory" she said, gray eyes sparkling.

Should have:

...My name's Lory." she said...

And...

"I bet" Lory said, you want to go on a dungeon with me? I found a good spot on the BBS."

Ought to be:

"I bet," Lory said. "You want...

As I said, that could just be problems with FF's uploading. -shrugs- Or it could be that you're just not being careful with the punctutation because, actually, there're a bunch of little punctuation errors. But, that's not so bad. At least your grammar is good, and you're spelling is better than mine. ^_^

I like Morganna's excuse for her weird character design. .. and saying that she's a programmer. Hehe...

And I like how she just doesn't quite... understand some things, or needs a few moments to analyze.

"Damn wavering program." That made me laugh, just so you know. I spent way too much time paying attention to the lovely backstory and explinations for the .hack universe, so little attentions to details like that amuse me.

By the way, you may want to stick a 'bar' in between your story text and your final author's notes just for ease of reading and clarification.

Onto chapter next!
12/21/2005 c1 Sargent Snarky
Staple... I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get around to reading your fiction after you've read mine. Really, I am! Umm... If you must know my terrible excuses, they would be as follows:

1 forgetfulness

2 laziness

3 forgetfulness... or did I already mention it? I forget.

Yeah.

And... Um... Yes. Haven't updated in a while, eint chapter had a very shoddy editing job), but that's because no one reads it, and that is kind of depressing. ))

Ok. Shameless plug done! Onto chapter 1!
12/15/2005 c5 that guy that does crazy stuff
Maybe I should attempt to scrap together an example to show you some inspiration?

Anyway, I would probably want Sora to win, simply because he's the most on-the-bounce person there is, excluding what Groove might be like. But, I doubt you'd give him a new weapon and Golden/Silver Grunties, so he's probably the same as always. But supposing one was more capable of using potions then the other while doing all-out combo's, then I think that that person might have a better chance. Maybe Kite should win... dunno.

Really random: Mention something about scary games, please? For example, one where you run around controlling a slow person holding a camera.
12/14/2005 c5 Chris Turner
Great chapter! I hope that you have more encounters between Morgana and Balmung. I find it interesting that you decide to give Morgana and American accent. Among other things, she probably had several dictionaries included in her program when Harald first compiled her. As far as who would win, I, personally, think that Kite would win. And I'm not saying that he'd win because he'd use the bracelet; quite the opposite in fact. Kite would never use the power of the bracelet on another player, especially since all the phases and most of the data/virus bugs have been deleted. I think that he would use it sparingly ever after, because not even someone with hacked stats like Helba could stand up to it, even if he only used it to power down an enemy. No, I think that Kite would win because of his skills and high stamina. I used every Golden Puchigosu/Grunty that the game offered in trades and/or special events and got Kite's HP to somewhere between 3800 and 3900. Sora's HP is 1700-1800 when you find him, or rather his AI clone, and he doesn't improve much since he is already at LV 90 and has only nine levels to go. Also, his defense is low, and even though he has 99 ATK and Kite has only 85 ATK, with the best weapons and all possible Book upgrades (minus that WORTHLESS Piroshi's Diary... WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING, giving that to Kite and all, ESP after you helped him :-(... Ah, well), I think that since Kite's DEF is fairly high, Kite would win. But don't get me wrong, it would be close... Sora isn't famous for nothing! _ Same with Moonstone, too; I think that they would probably exchange funny insults as they fought. Moonstone, for instance, would probably call Sora a baby, and Sora would counter with remarks that would go over Moonstone's head. In fact, it might be nice to have Sora beat Moonstone by giving him a particularly clever and complex insult that he has to think about, and while Moonstone's guard is down trying to get a clue, Sora finally PK's him. I dunno, it's ur fic so do what you want, but that's what I would do. What will you do? Anyway, we can talk more at the SF Anime Festival this weekend; see ya then, and Tog, too, if she decides to come!

Chris
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