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for Cybernectic Epiphany

6/28/2005 c3 2quitelacking
Your description is alot better here. More um, descriptive. ^^; And nice to see Morgana's effects on the system.

Next chapter please and thank you.
6/28/2005 c1 SkeletalWings
Nice! I like how the introduction is quite short and sweet, telling the reader right away what the plot is to be instead of making them run in circles to find out what the meaning of the story is. ^_^ Usually it takes me a while to figure out what a fanfic is about... but not this one. Goo djob! =D
6/28/2005 c3 xeno
I havent seen a fanfic like this,and I like this fanfic ,it is a good change in how Morganna acts, considering how she acted in .dothack/sign it is even more a good change,though I think that she should have a run in with Aura sometime or another and they have an argument or something,anyway I like this fanfic alot so far,I thought this might help so I put it down,I hope it helps.
6/27/2005 c2 1Rednal
Hmm... ^^ You need a few more descriptions. Writing with only speech tends to slightly degrade the quality of a story. If you explain what's going around them, that should improve this story a lot. XP
6/27/2005 c1 Rednal
Hmm... Interesting start. ^^ I shall now proceed to Chapter One, then.
6/26/2005 c2 Tarvos
Awesome writing! You definately got Morganna's cold-bitch, but can't quite stay bitchy attitude across well. The story could do with a little more description of action and terrain, but it isn't bad without it^^(Is it too obvious that I help review in class?) Overall it is really well-written. Keep the "Old Lady" story going!
6/23/2005 c1 1kitedragon
Foshizzle! One where Oba-chan isn't evil. Well, the reason Morganna was a bully was because if she wasn't she would die. And if she would die, she wouldn't be able to live. And since she was self aware, and probably had some human emotions by then, she would do everything she could to live. There were some things she still didn't learn. However, it dosn't seem bad. GL HF!
6/23/2005 c2 Inv4der T4k
Your Lory character is very spritely. ^_^ I think she's a good contrast to Morgana's droll way of dealing with prior things. However, I would have expected the AI to be a bit more smug, since she used to be rather secure in her roll before, and commanded Macha as though he were nothing/no one. I can understand her being humbled, but perhaps she should have relaps moments?
6/21/2005 c1 Aura24
Hello this is Aura from the Guild. NICE WORK! Nice to see your work on a larger site than our little home. lol

I look forward to more! ^_^
6/21/2005 c2 Wind Kaze
Been a while since I came upon an idea this original. It's an interesting concept I must say; I love how you pulled it off. Your story lacks somewhat in description, but your overall plot compensates for that.

Keep up the good work! -gives you a cookie-

Till next time,

Wind Kaze
6/20/2005 c2 2quitelacking
This chapter is mostly dialogue, so I can't critique much about descriptions. Everything seems smooth.

Morgana made a friend, yay!
6/20/2005 c1 8Spanner
It will be interesting to see a more sympathetic take on Morgana's character. I always thought it was a bit unfair how she is villified in fanfiction. The actual Morgana wasn't nearly so bad - she was ruthless, certainly, and did many bad things, but she was motivated by self-preservation.

I look forward to reading more of this. Keep writing!
6/20/2005 c1 3Calisto-divine-Blue
this has plenty of potential keep writing! ^^
6/19/2005 c1 re weird
Oi, imouto! Beta reader here. It's as good as when I first read it. Keep on going, and I hope you get 20 reviews for the next chapter.
6/18/2005 c1 Anthro7
This was pretty good. You can see the running dot hack themes in the way morganna learns and decides to take form. I dare say a little Matrix-like. But that's good! I look foreward to the next part. ^_^
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