for After on6/24/2005 c1 Mtolleg
This a great starting chapter. It sounds interesting and it has a good tone to it. Great job staying in character and developing Betty further along. One caveat, there, their, and they're are sepparate words and have sepparate uses. There is for a place, like there is the food. Their is for possesive, like their toys are all over their floor. They're is obviously the contraction of they and are as in they're in for a world of hurt. I'm not a particularly good grammar person or anything and this is probably insanely picky and mean, still just something I thought I should mention.
This a great starting chapter. It sounds interesting and it has a good tone to it. Great job staying in character and developing Betty further along. One caveat, there, their, and they're are sepparate words and have sepparate uses. There is for a place, like there is the food. Their is for possesive, like their toys are all over their floor. They're is obviously the contraction of they and are as in they're in for a world of hurt. I'm not a particularly good grammar person or anything and this is probably insanely picky and mean, still just something I thought I should mention.
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