for Development1/25/2007 c1 
3Crystal Serenity Yuy
Hey,
I've read the story fifteen million times and have it save on my favorites. PLEASE UPDATE SOON! And also PLEASE don't let it(Relena) be alive.
C.S.Y.
3Crystal Serenity YuyHey,
I've read the story fifteen million times and have it save on my favorites. PLEASE UPDATE SOON! And also PLEASE don't let it(Relena) be alive.
C.S.Y.
7/14/2005 c3 NoLongerInReality
Pft! Man, only an old man would miss what Usagi caught! I do so wonder if Relena and the child are Mother and Daughter? Eh.. Maybe.. Maybe Hiiro's the father? Ehk! I hope not! Sorry. I have this big dislike for Hiiro/Relena stories. I view them more as having a sibling like relationship after the wars, XD. Yeah, I *do* have a screwed up mind.
Very nice chapter. It was interesting. ja ne!
-Sionn of SGI
Pft! Man, only an old man would miss what Usagi caught! I do so wonder if Relena and the child are Mother and Daughter? Eh.. Maybe.. Maybe Hiiro's the father? Ehk! I hope not! Sorry. I have this big dislike for Hiiro/Relena stories. I view them more as having a sibling like relationship after the wars, XD. Yeah, I *do* have a screwed up mind.
Very nice chapter. It was interesting. ja ne!
-Sionn of SGI
7/14/2005 c2 NoLongerInReality
XD That was just freaking CUTE! I feel bad for Usagi though, she's trying so hard to be some one she's not, and she can get so easily depressed when people put down on her and hate her. It's to bad she acts all mean and high, because truthfully, trying to change for Mamoru-baka is a very stupid thing.
Ja ne! Great Second Chapter!
XD That was just freaking CUTE! I feel bad for Usagi though, she's trying so hard to be some one she's not, and she can get so easily depressed when people put down on her and hate her. It's to bad she acts all mean and high, because truthfully, trying to change for Mamoru-baka is a very stupid thing.
Ja ne! Great Second Chapter!
7/14/2005 c1 NoLongerInReality
Hahahahaha! I wonder if he made the connection that they were realted? Hahahaha! I loved the begining of this! It was hilarious, and just made me crack up at the end!
The whole "Usagi Aino - Famous journalist and editor-in-chief of the Tokyo Times" and "Mnako Aino - Imfamous Girlfriend of Duo Maxwell that just happened to be to sugary". XD!
Ja ne!
Hahahahaha! I wonder if he made the connection that they were realted? Hahahaha! I loved the begining of this! It was hilarious, and just made me crack up at the end!
The whole "Usagi Aino - Famous journalist and editor-in-chief of the Tokyo Times" and "Mnako Aino - Imfamous Girlfriend of Duo Maxwell that just happened to be to sugary". XD!
Ja ne!
7/13/2005 c1 1The Great Critic II
OH MY GOD THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES UPON! NO IT ISN'T U SUK! OMFGWTFLOLBBQ
1The Great Critic IIOH MY GOD THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES UPON! NO IT ISN'T U SUK! OMFGWTFLOLBBQ
7/9/2005 c3 1Cami Binion
i like this story so far. is relena really dead? if not where has she been? is that really serena with relena? update soon
1Cami Binioni like this story so far. is relena really dead? if not where has she been? is that really serena with relena? update soon
7/5/2005 c3 15Angelight
This chapter felt a lot better than the first two. :) Though maybe it's because Minako dominated. Now, speaking as an utter U/H and Usag-in-general fan, (lol) if this keeps up, Minako might end up as the most likeable character. -; I thought Usagi's note was cute (with respect to her ability to fix things) and Minako's inability to pass her road test was double cute. xD But maybe it was that you'd already seemed to have established Usagi as invincible or something but it almost feels as if I'm starting to dislike her. -; And things are becoming a little too easy ... is Hiiro just so talented that he was automatically picked? And it's kind of strange that the CEO himself of a major newspaper (is it a newspaper?) would take time to pick out a photographer, even from only 5 portfolios - one, it's hard to find a CEO with that kind of eye and two, it's hard to find a CEO with that kind of patience. A major corporation CEO, I mean. ^^;
But overall this chapter felt a lot smoother and your style seemed to have relaxed, especially for the Minako segment. And I am in love with your Minako; she is simply enchanting. :)
Update?
Yours, A.
15AngelightThis chapter felt a lot better than the first two. :) Though maybe it's because Minako dominated. Now, speaking as an utter U/H and Usag-in-general fan, (lol) if this keeps up, Minako might end up as the most likeable character. -; I thought Usagi's note was cute (with respect to her ability to fix things) and Minako's inability to pass her road test was double cute. xD But maybe it was that you'd already seemed to have established Usagi as invincible or something but it almost feels as if I'm starting to dislike her. -; And things are becoming a little too easy ... is Hiiro just so talented that he was automatically picked? And it's kind of strange that the CEO himself of a major newspaper (is it a newspaper?) would take time to pick out a photographer, even from only 5 portfolios - one, it's hard to find a CEO with that kind of eye and two, it's hard to find a CEO with that kind of patience. A major corporation CEO, I mean. ^^;
But overall this chapter felt a lot smoother and your style seemed to have relaxed, especially for the Minako segment. And I am in love with your Minako; she is simply enchanting. :)
Update?
Yours, A.
7/5/2005 c2 1Neviegirl
I just read your story and it's really good please con keep going make it a Usagi and Heero one and make Quatre her friend Pwease.
1NeviegirlI just read your story and it's really good please con keep going make it a Usagi and Heero one and make Quatre her friend Pwease.
7/4/2005 c2 nolisting
aw... kawaii! ^_^ this looks promising, I hope you continue you update. ^_^ ja ne!
aw... kawaii! ^_^ this looks promising, I hope you continue you update. ^_^ ja ne!
7/4/2005 c2 15Angelight
Firstly, it's a bit cruel to stigmatize a fic so much so early on. -; But on the bright side ... it'll be much harder to get fluffy reviews. ._. I originally intended to be fluffy, lol, but now I suppose I have to be more honest. :P That's not as ominous as it sounds, lol.
The most glaring fallacy is the characterization ... there's nothing terrifyingly wrong with it - there are plenty of fics in which Usagi and Hiiro are warped even more so beyond recognition ... but Hiiro's instant notice of Usagi is a little unusual and Usagi's perfection will become harder and harder to tolerate, especially for those who are not absolutely in love with her. Minako's character is typical ... I don't think it's a problem necessarily - I thought it was rather cute xD - but if she's going to play a bigger role in this fic, she's supposed to eventually develop more substance. I'm sure you'd realized that already. ^^; So to please everybody (lol an impossibility), try to just develop all the characters you introduce - like Duo, Quatre, etc. I have to admit between the two, Quatre would probably merit a bit more development if only because he seemed a bit passive. -;
You did not slaughter the English language. -; Well, maybe you did but then we'd all be a little guilty of that. In this genre, your descriptions are relatively good and grammar/formatting/spelling/misc are quite good. There have been some pretty awful ones. -; And even English majors have made their share of g/f/s/m mistakes. :P
Like I said, the main problem is that it is trespassing on cutesy and Usagi is a bit too perfect. If you insist on focusing on Usagi so much (especially as she is an object of hatred for most flamers) you need to make her more likeable - more realistic, less perfect, etc. She can't be rich, beautiful, successful, powerful, famous, and has a tragic past all at the same time; she'd die from exhaustion. She can't have everybody love her and obey her; THEY'D die from exhaustion.
One point worthy of complimenting is that you use proper nouns. Instead of "luxury cars" you used Benzes and Porsches (though they do need to be plural) and instead of "the corner video rental store" you used Blockbuster. So ... chin up. :) I was excited when I first saw it. xD Andandand ... you're probably better off than 50% of this genre. And ... these problems really wouldn't have been such a big deal if your first five had consistently overlooked them but, well, I'd call it luck. Lol. I hate fluffy reviews. -; They leave a hollow feeling at the pit of my stomach. xD And ... what can't kill you can only make you stronger, right? So make it a goal to prove your critics wrong. :)
I'll be watching for more. :D
Yours,
Ange-
15AngelightFirstly, it's a bit cruel to stigmatize a fic so much so early on. -; But on the bright side ... it'll be much harder to get fluffy reviews. ._. I originally intended to be fluffy, lol, but now I suppose I have to be more honest. :P That's not as ominous as it sounds, lol.
The most glaring fallacy is the characterization ... there's nothing terrifyingly wrong with it - there are plenty of fics in which Usagi and Hiiro are warped even more so beyond recognition ... but Hiiro's instant notice of Usagi is a little unusual and Usagi's perfection will become harder and harder to tolerate, especially for those who are not absolutely in love with her. Minako's character is typical ... I don't think it's a problem necessarily - I thought it was rather cute xD - but if she's going to play a bigger role in this fic, she's supposed to eventually develop more substance. I'm sure you'd realized that already. ^^; So to please everybody (lol an impossibility), try to just develop all the characters you introduce - like Duo, Quatre, etc. I have to admit between the two, Quatre would probably merit a bit more development if only because he seemed a bit passive. -;
You did not slaughter the English language. -; Well, maybe you did but then we'd all be a little guilty of that. In this genre, your descriptions are relatively good and grammar/formatting/spelling/misc are quite good. There have been some pretty awful ones. -; And even English majors have made their share of g/f/s/m mistakes. :P
Like I said, the main problem is that it is trespassing on cutesy and Usagi is a bit too perfect. If you insist on focusing on Usagi so much (especially as she is an object of hatred for most flamers) you need to make her more likeable - more realistic, less perfect, etc. She can't be rich, beautiful, successful, powerful, famous, and has a tragic past all at the same time; she'd die from exhaustion. She can't have everybody love her and obey her; THEY'D die from exhaustion.
One point worthy of complimenting is that you use proper nouns. Instead of "luxury cars" you used Benzes and Porsches (though they do need to be plural) and instead of "the corner video rental store" you used Blockbuster. So ... chin up. :) I was excited when I first saw it. xD Andandand ... you're probably better off than 50% of this genre. And ... these problems really wouldn't have been such a big deal if your first five had consistently overlooked them but, well, I'd call it luck. Lol. I hate fluffy reviews. -; They leave a hollow feeling at the pit of my stomach. xD And ... what can't kill you can only make you stronger, right? So make it a goal to prove your critics wrong. :)
I'll be watching for more. :D
Yours,
Ange-
7/3/2005 c1 bjv
Oh come on. You give Usagi Minako's last name and make Minako look bad! At least make Minako good at something else!
Oh come on. You give Usagi Minako's last name and make Minako look bad! At least make Minako good at something else!
7/2/2005 c1 10xxSilverWingsxx
I like it so far. I haven't reviewed in so long...the only reason y I reviewed..is cuz I ususally only read complete stories so I don't yearn or die from the lack of completion. THUS I read a new story right now...and I review..in HOPE that you'll finish this story :)
10xxSilverWingsxxI like it so far. I haven't reviewed in so long...the only reason y I reviewed..is cuz I ususally only read complete stories so I don't yearn or die from the lack of completion. THUS I read a new story right now...and I review..in HOPE that you'll finish this story :)