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2/13/2006 c1 1Cyberviper
A very easy read, maybe you could get milly to figure out who the girl i

Thank you.
7/7/2005 c1 22ReadingWhiz89
Well, the story seems ok so far. I do have a few issues, though, such as the description of Sadierah. The clothes bit, I can understand. I mean, just HER. Very beautiful, you say. No offense, but she sounds Mary-Sueish. Just a little, and easily corrected.

Plus, no offense to you, I really dislike the Vash/OC pairing because a lot of them wind up being Mary-Sues. It would be a shame if that happened to your story. A Knives/OC pairing is better, I think, as long as she doesn't make him reform immediately. He must remain IC.

I also think you should work on the format and grammar a bit. Meaning, separate all the dialogue, and don't use IM abbreviations like "thru".

Anyways, I hope this was helpful to you. I dislike flaming so I hope you don't take this as one.

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