for Unknown
307/8/2005 c2 sevati
I'd suggest removing the part at the end involving blah blah blah. A fanfic is meant to be a tribute to the books with your own personal twist, but staying in written perspective (a narrator, a character's point of view, omnipresent, whatever). Mentioning the books themselves would be like a stage actor breaking character and insulting the audience on being there and telling them they're wasting his time since they already know what happens. Not the best metaphor, but hopefully close enough to convey my point. If you need to explain something to the reader, do it in an Author's Note (A/N) at the top or bottom of a new installment.
Surely you can spare 5 minute to type up a short summary of book 2. Or you could completely ignore the passage of time, put in a break/start a new chapter and go straight to year 4, where you seem to be leading the reader. Though on they no longer allow page breaks (most people used horizontal line tags, but now they don't even allow a repeating symmbol across the screen), so I'd go with starting a new chapter.
I'd suggest removing the part at the end involving blah blah blah. A fanfic is meant to be a tribute to the books with your own personal twist, but staying in written perspective (a narrator, a character's point of view, omnipresent, whatever). Mentioning the books themselves would be like a stage actor breaking character and insulting the audience on being there and telling them they're wasting his time since they already know what happens. Not the best metaphor, but hopefully close enough to convey my point. If you need to explain something to the reader, do it in an Author's Note (A/N) at the top or bottom of a new installment.
Surely you can spare 5 minute to type up a short summary of book 2. Or you could completely ignore the passage of time, put in a break/start a new chapter and go straight to year 4, where you seem to be leading the reader. Though on they no longer allow page breaks (most people used horizontal line tags, but now they don't even allow a repeating symmbol across the screen), so I'd go with starting a new chapter.
7/8/2005 c1 sevati
I'm dishing out advice, and I hope you won't be offended. First, Blaise's name is spelled Blaise Zambini. Not Zambanie. The first is an Italian last name, and the second is reminiscent of an African country.
I realize you might have written this before Rowling specified that Blaise is actually a boy, so I won't bitch about how Blaise isn't a girl. I've read many a story written before JKR said Blaise=boy where Blaise was portrayed as a female, and I enjoyed them fully. If I ever feel the need to reread them, it won't bother me that it's not considered canon anymore.
If you want people to read and take your fics seriously, you NEED a Beta-reader. They will catch all your spelling and grammar errors, not to mention conflicts with your plot versus book facts. One example is that you've placed Blaise as a first year while Hermione, Harry, Draco etc are 2nd years. The books state they're all in the same year. Another example, in chapter one: "SLYTHEYN!".. It's Slytherin. Also: "The hat took it’s time into judging where the young girl should go, and thus, being the hat he was able to see in her mind, much of it a barrier was placed, but he was informed of a plan that would work best if she was in Slythern. He readily agreed, knowing that this was the one, in which he had told of in his Welcome Song." You've misspelled Slytherin yet again, this time differently, refered to Blaise as a 'He'. Chapter 2: "4rth"- no r.
If you're going to stray so far from the book facts, I suggest labeling your story as AU, meaning Alternate Universe. Say that someone wrote a story where Cedric was still alive in Harry's 7th year, meaning he didn't die in Harry's 4th year; the story was most likely written and posted online before book 4 came out. The story can still exist, but the author will add a warning that the story was written pre-book 4 and is now considered to be AU, since it can't follow canon (canon is the set of facts put forth by the book).
I'm dishing out advice, and I hope you won't be offended. First, Blaise's name is spelled Blaise Zambini. Not Zambanie. The first is an Italian last name, and the second is reminiscent of an African country.
I realize you might have written this before Rowling specified that Blaise is actually a boy, so I won't bitch about how Blaise isn't a girl. I've read many a story written before JKR said Blaise=boy where Blaise was portrayed as a female, and I enjoyed them fully. If I ever feel the need to reread them, it won't bother me that it's not considered canon anymore.
If you want people to read and take your fics seriously, you NEED a Beta-reader. They will catch all your spelling and grammar errors, not to mention conflicts with your plot versus book facts. One example is that you've placed Blaise as a first year while Hermione, Harry, Draco etc are 2nd years. The books state they're all in the same year. Another example, in chapter one: "SLYTHEYN!".. It's Slytherin. Also: "The hat took it’s time into judging where the young girl should go, and thus, being the hat he was able to see in her mind, much of it a barrier was placed, but he was informed of a plan that would work best if she was in Slythern. He readily agreed, knowing that this was the one, in which he had told of in his Welcome Song." You've misspelled Slytherin yet again, this time differently, refered to Blaise as a 'He'. Chapter 2: "4rth"- no r.
If you're going to stray so far from the book facts, I suggest labeling your story as AU, meaning Alternate Universe. Say that someone wrote a story where Cedric was still alive in Harry's 7th year, meaning he didn't die in Harry's 4th year; the story was most likely written and posted online before book 4 came out. The story can still exist, but the author will add a warning that the story was written pre-book 4 and is now considered to be AU, since it can't follow canon (canon is the set of facts put forth by the book).
7/6/2005 c2 sempracaveas03
Excuse me, but:
To all of you idiots out there who keep saying that they like female-Blaise, let me point out to you that JKR SPECIFICALLY STATES ON HER WEBSITE THAT BLAISE ZABINI IS A MALE! (And that we should watch out for HIM in the upcoming books!)
Just because you're more comfortable with Blaise being a 'girl' (since you've read far too many bad fan-fics) DOESN'T MEAN that you can go changing genders from what JKR has made them! So your story wouldn't be 'slash'. Just because you're comfortable with it, DOESN'T MEAN it's right! GET USED TO IT!
Excuse me, but:
To all of you idiots out there who keep saying that they like female-Blaise, let me point out to you that JKR SPECIFICALLY STATES ON HER WEBSITE THAT BLAISE ZABINI IS A MALE! (And that we should watch out for HIM in the upcoming books!)
Just because you're more comfortable with Blaise being a 'girl' (since you've read far too many bad fan-fics) DOESN'T MEAN that you can go changing genders from what JKR has made them! So your story wouldn't be 'slash'. Just because you're comfortable with it, DOESN'T MEAN it's right! GET USED TO IT!