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for The Time Lords Return

10/18/2008 c1 43teddybowties
HAH! Sweet! But why is it in bold? A bit hard to read, Peaches. Try to get taht sorted, roight? Cheerio, then!
6/16/2007 c1 this account will be dead soon
...Are we actually supposed to be able to read this? I mean, I'm trying and all but... AHH! MY EYES!
8/3/2006 c1 5AmareFortis
sounds like a good story but because of the format i cant havent read it, once u fix it please mail me cheers lol
10/11/2005 c1 73shedoc
You need to fix the formatting in this story

it's all bold and there are no gaps - its an almost solid block of text

i haven't read it because the formatting is really offputting - I know that's slack of me but there are lots of warnings and advice on posting with the correct format
9/12/2005 c8 13Doctor Whoops
Hi Josh review as promised!

I do agree with some of the earlier reviews re punctuation and spelling, an alternative way to write this may be to treat like a play or an audio drama. Script the characters lines with descriptions to set the scene and the sound effects.

And the plot point about Rose becoming rich either needs explaining or dithing, it's not relevant to the story. But I like the way you dealt with the aftermath of the regeneration, by just having The Doctor get straight back to business.

Overall story wise it's action packed and moves along at a great pace. I can appreciate it's difficult to write about a Doctor we haven't even seen yet, but oddly I could imagine Tennant doing all the things you had him doing, up until the point he lost the Tardis and became manic.

The Doctor would not take so much time out to grieve over the Tardis, not with the Daleks still on the loose. He would want to stop them at all costs, and think nothing of wiping them all out for the sake of the universe.

But doing it just to avenge The Tardis doesn't seem right, especially if the Tardis can be regenerated.

And his attitude to Jack was all wrong, it's more akin to the way he would treat Adam.

Overall an interesting take on things some of the temporal activity could do with explaining and a few more supporting characters wouldn't hurt either.
8/29/2005 c8 5Red Raider
I can't wait to read Gallifrey's Life With The Doctor. This story has been really good, nice one!
8/29/2005 c7 Red Raider
Absolutely love the action! I, myself, find writing for the Daleks pretty hard and to make the story believable takes a very skilled writer. You are an extremely good Dalek author and should continue with more and more stories of the Daleks. Well Done!
8/15/2005 c1 the-faith-less-one
This is really hard to read. Could you try formatting it?

Angel.
8/3/2005 c2 mrninehands
Good plot line, but I can't read it. PLEASE get rid of the bold handwriting, and put in paragraphs! Also the Doc has 13 lives. NICE THOUGH.
7/29/2005 c4 Red Raider
This is a cool story. I think it's a great idea to have a new time war between the time lords and the daleks. All you have to do is work on your grammar a little and the story will be perfect. Keep writing!
7/27/2005 c3 10Jessie Wings
Um, I'm not sure what the capitals in mid-sentence are for, and I'm not sure why the story's in bold, and I'm not sure why you're not setting out your paragraphs properly, and... uh...

Yeah. That's a lot of it.

Also, it might have been because I skipped a few lines due to not being able to read it properly, but why are the Sixth, Ninth and Tenth Doctors together? How did the Game Station thingy get to 2008? Why is Rose a millionaire? Why would she need a flat big enough for 200 TARDISes? Why didn't the Doctor just take Lynda to the Zero Room, which would have been simpler than a Healing Tube?

And also, were is spelt were. Not "where". That's a different word entirely.

Anyway, so BASICALLY my review says: 1) work on grammar, and 2) actually explain why largely random and/or convenient things happen...
7/25/2005 c4 513Animegirl1129
u have good description on the battle
7/25/2005 c3 Animegirl1129
how many doctors r theyre?
7/25/2005 c2 Animegirl1129
good job... keep going... one thing i may suggest is slowing down the time a little... just a thought
7/25/2005 c1 Animegirl1129
googd job... though may i suggest the 'new speaker new paragraph' rule... i didnt use it for a while either... but i understood my stories better... and the doctor sounds rather hyper... reminds me of my friend... hmm... keep going
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