7/15/2005 c1 50XWingAce
No mercy, okay:

First, why is the text bold? This doesn't make it any easier to read, it just makes the already dark blocks of words even darker.

Second, you need to start a new line in dialogue when someone new starts to speak.

Third, please pay attention to your punctuation and spelling. I've seen a lot worse spelling, but you're omitting vital punctuation that would make your sentences flow properly.

Fourthly the ampersand (&) isn't really all that practical a character. You really shouldn't use it, especially not in dialogue. In the narrative I suppose it would not do much harm, but is it really do difficult to just type 'and'?

Pay attention to these things and the story might actually be readable enough for me to say something about the characters in it. From what little I can make out, though, the Doctor seems a bit... overly enthousiastic to start interfering anywhere and anywhen, and his attidude towards Jackie seems completely different from what we saw in the series.

Hopefully this review was helpful.

XWA