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for Venom of the Snake

8/7/2013 c1 OriginalRabbits
That was really bad, I'm only going to say this once describing people being maimed and tortured when it's clear you don't know what it is like is pretty horrible thing to do. I know people who have actually been abused and can say that writing it out in such a way doesn't make you a good author, it just shows you don't understand that something shouldn't be described in detail.
7/5/2009 c8 1Griffin Raven
Hm, truly an interesting story, though I can't wait to read where you going to take it next? What age is Harry, and is his real name Zack? (I didn't get a bit confused there!) So he has a twin, but is it a girl or boy?
7/6/2008 c1 razgriz wolf
this i s really good for a harry potter fic i read only a couple of the books but i kinda understand the plot. anyways exellent usage of details as usual lol and i still need your help on the wolfs rain fic im writing cant wait to see your updated stories lol ^_^
10/27/2007 c1 munchnzoey
good story!
10/27/2007 c8 17sernity1806
I very much loved yours work so far. It is very intreging. I did not see in spelling errors so nothing to report. What happened to your battery?
10/27/2007 c8 13Serpent91
Love this!
10/27/2007 c8 7L123o123v123e123
What a good story.
10/21/2007 c7 17sernity1806
Man that was awhile ago that yout laptop shot. I hope it is getting fixed.
5/14/2007 c7 Socdel
rao! please update soon


2/5/2007 c6 1Sweet-single
so.. when's his bro gunna appear?

update soon!^_^
7/15/2006 c6 13Serpent91
love the story!
7/2/2006 c1 1TheHalfBloodPrince47
hedgewidge? its Hedwig.
7/1/2006 c6 4yaeko
hey! who's harry's brother┬┐? and whats going to happen to belle?
4/5/2006 c5 3gryfinndorseeker452
Um great story so far but when are you going to update because u updated magic and science but no venom of the snake come on update please
2/25/2006 c2 1Evanlicious
I think that your story has lots of creativity, and many great instances of emotionally and physically detailed descriptions, but I had a difficult time actually reading it. The reasons why it wasn't a smooth read are as follows:

1 - you switch a lot from first person to third. It's not considered grammatically correct to do so, and changing between "I" and "Harry" or "he" doesn't make for an easy ride.

2 - There's some grammar and spelling issues. Ok, a lot of grammar and spelling issues. Spellcheckers don't usually catch places that need commas, which should be there whenever you use a compound sentence or whenever there's a physical pause in the dialogue.

I thought that the brutal violence toward Harry was... a little out of place, but it makes your story pretty intense.

Anyway, good work, and keep at it!

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