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for A Heros Second Chance

8/21/2005 c1 112dogbertcarroll
It's a good setup for a fic.
8/20/2005 c1 Yenom
well i hope the other chapter are longer it's hard to read a fic that only last 30 secs to read, it always feels lacking even if is is quite good. so lenghten you chapters to at least 1500 words (20 is a better min thou) and it will a great story
8/19/2005 c1 Des Shinta
First off-lose the script format. I have yet to see a successful fanfic written in that style (in normal style it may seem bad, but these things come with practice.) Second; Is shadow an OC, or is this a reference to another series? Finally, I love time travel fic's ^^.
8/19/2005 c1 44dennisud
All well and good... but wouldn't Asuka say something while all that was going on, maybe say she'd go with him?

Let see what happens next!

8/19/2005 c1 animewatcher
the idea seem interesting, but htis chapter look like a copy of the eva-movie
8/19/2005 c1 Zeroeye
not bad not bad, one of the most screwed up movies i have ever seen, and this could be going somwhere really nice... keep to it
8/18/2005 c1 bored
Script format is not allowed on


Writing in script format is a cop-out and a stupid idea anyway. It's not like you are actually writing a screenplay that is going to get produced for television. Pro-Tip: IT'S BORING TO READ. SCRIPT FORMAT WAS NOT MEANT FOR LEISURE READING. If you are writing script because you think you suck at prose, then practice prose. Read a lot of well-written books to get some good influence, and practice writing short stories as you go along and as you get ideas for them. It's not hard.
8/18/2005 c1 5The Yuki
uh, why is it written like a script, and why do you say "this is my own work please don't take it off"?
8/18/2005 c1 Myself
Script format bad...very bad. Sadly I can't read a story written in it so I can't tell you whether I liked or disliked the contect as the format wasn't acceptable. Hope things still work out for you and this story, and if you ever change format I'll be sure to check it out

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