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for The mystery behind the Young girl!

8/22/2006 c1 16Helbaworshipper
The hugest problem I have with this story is that it's not formatted, nothing's wrong with large paragraphs, but it's hard to follow a story. You're grammar is good, which helps a lot.

If you formatted the story, the chapter will flow better.
8/23/2005 c1 2firehorse323
i like it. its funny. keep it up. bye
8/23/2005 c2 5phoenixfiregal
nice but work on some different ideas! good job better on the type Os
8/23/2005 c1 phoenixfiregal
good job need to work on type Os and its a little confusing but still nice!

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