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for Blood: Ship of Fools

6/21/2005 c1 18The Wallflower
First thing is break your story into chapters, preferably using the way, since its provided. This will improve readability. Also, along the same lines, use paragraph breaks, always when changing topic and always where there is a new speaker. Lastly, the present tense its written in is exhausting. Present tense is used to bring a sense of immediate action and doesn't work in the long-term very well.

Now onto the content. Caleb's behavior doesn't seem to fit him as it is in the limited glimpse we get in Blood. He's a man of few words, a brutal killer prone to mass murder sprees, homicidal sociopath, and a man of action. The point of Blood is to pay homage to horror and horror art. Despite that, its one of my favorite scenes in the story. The whole concept for the piece is novel as well. I love the idea of a whole lot of Cabal, sacrificial humans, and Caleb being isolated in the middle of the ocean. The plot wraps develops around this concept well, on the whole. Some of the details are a bit cliche, but the actions of the Cabal are a nice touch. The violence is spot on too. Just right for a piece such as this.

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