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10/24/2008 c21 kris
OMG you SO deffinetly need to update...And letme tell you I think takashi is Inuyasha...Seriously...and sesshomaru knows it...haha
10/24/2008 c21 olive
that was pretty good lol and what took so long =P
10/18/2008 c1 28kartronthepegasus
great story so far
9/4/2008 c21 2Miatski Kuromia
aw i cant wait to see what happens next
8/21/2008 c21 2devoted2inuyasha
I'm so happy that you keep updating this. I don't know how much further you plan to take it, but I'm definitely hanging on until the end!
8/14/2008 c14 3R.S.A
This scene was still the same scene that's been repeating, but it at least had more depth than the others. You had a situation that sent a message, that killing is wrong no matter how much a person deserves it, that the good guy should never stoop to the level of the bad guy, etc. You might also want to watch repeating certain phrases. I noticed she had something going through her veins a lot. The story is really good, but it's mostly emotion based. There's not a lot of a main plot going on, just sub plots within a very simple main plot (she has the way to the jewel, naraku wants it, so naraku tortures her and threatens her loved ones over and over again).
8/13/2008 c13 R.S.A
So far, this is definately your best chapter yet. The scene with the jewel is actually pretty deep. There are themes like defense vs offense, letting go vs fighting, etc. You're still about to repeat the same 'being taken to Naraku and threatened' scene (as far as I can tell without having read the next chapter), but it's getting more interesting. I'm especially curious about what you'll do with Inuyasha. There are some grammar issues, though. You leave words out a lot, or say 'her' when you mean 'he'.
8/13/2008 c12 R.S.A
For future stories, you might want to watch the repetitive situations. They're all a little different, but for the most part the same situation keeps repeating. Kagome gets taken to Naraku, Naraku is all scary and she is threatened with souta or someone else, gets emotional, nearly fights but not quite, gets beat down somehow, so on and so forth. When Inuyasha is in there, she gets angry, she or Inu gets soft, bonding/sappy moment happens, they get caught being sappy, etc. It's mixed up enough that it's not till about now that it gets a little obvious that the same thing keeps happening.
8/13/2008 c9 R.S.A
These are just notes in case you ever want to revise this story:

You must have forgotten that souta told Kagome their mother was dead, so she wouldn't have been worrying about it. Also, where would Kagome learn to pick a lock? I at least don't know of any normal people who can do that...
8/12/2008 c8 R.S.A
I think the word you were looking for was "accept". You put "except" in there instead, which doesn't make sense at all. The idea of Inuyasha crying so sentimentally over words seems unrealistic to me, for sure, but the characters are still fairly IC which is great.
8/12/2008 c3 R.S.A
For the most part, you do a fantastic job of keeping them in character. The only reason I add the "for the most part" is b/c Kagome screaming "daddy!" made her seem a little too juvenile. Other than that, you do so much better than most fics I read (which is a blessing, 'cause the point is to read a fanfic, not an original with new characters who happen to have the same names and backgrounds that resemble each other). The cursing is still an issue (but I already reviewed about that, and these chapters were already written), but it's getting toned down. There are some grammar and spelling errors, but those are easily fixed. They are also few enough to not hinder the story's flow. Overall, I love it ^_^
8/12/2008 c2 R.S.A
You might want to tone down the language. There are certain curse words I understand Inuyasha makes, but Kagome NEVER curses in the anime, and neither does just about anyone else. Keeping the characters ic is one thing, but giving them foul mouths for the heck of it isn't good.
8/4/2008 c21 Hirodragcat
bout time ive waited for ever for the next chappie
7/21/2008 c21 7Brighteyez324
thank u thank u thank u 4 sending another chapter... if u can plz send another 1 asap. thank u
7/21/2008 c18 eternityxmoonlight
[ ops, i mean takashi :D ]

lol buhts. PLEASEE CONtiNUEE !
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