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for A Thousand Paper Cranes

6/13/2010 c7 Joonie Lee
Your story is absolutely WONDERFUL! I've been browsing through the Sandlot section trying to find a good story to read, but all I found were a bunch of authors trying to create badly written Mary Sues. YECK! As a major Sandlot fan, I want to read about the characters fromt he movie. NOT some poorly developed Mary Sue who dominates 80% of the story line. It's annoying, but that's not the point here.

I like that you wrote mostly about Benny's experiences instead of your OC's. Major props.

I like that you developed the personalities of each character. Even the minor characters (like Benny's mother) are interesting.

I like that your OC isn't the typical Mary Sue. Elaine is (to be totally honest) one of the few OCs on here that I actually like. Be careful with the rest of her development so that she doesn't become "one of them..."

Finally, PLEASE write more. There's not many good stories on here, and yours is one of the best.
3/16/2010 c13 Fly.With.Me. NJ
Love the story!

One of my favorites :)
2/10/2010 c1 Valouu

I absolutely LOVE the sandlot, and i LOVE Benny,

and this story is amazing.


please update?
2/5/2010 c1 Jess

1/30/2010 c1 jess
absolutely fantasticc :)

update soon :)
1/21/2010 c1 jessica
amazing, update soon :)
11/4/2009 c14 1Keiri Bradon

Please update!
11/3/2009 c15 5Elm Treigh


You confused me... Where is Chapter 14? You have Chapter 13 and then you suddenly skip to Chapter 15 and then you have this RIDICULOUSLY short Chapter 16 where you leave this:

"Yep…this is all I have so far for the next chapter. Originally, I planned for Mr. Mertle to just tell the whole story. In the end, though, I decided to actually illustrate the entire story…like a flashback. I figured it would let readers connect and sympathize with our skeleton. :]"

as an A/N...

Are you serious? I mean, what a tease! How am I 'connecting with the skeleton' when I don't know the story? It's doesn't say anything other than "Mr. Mertle nodded his head before starting his narrative." And then it stops and then you have your A/N!

Oh! But it doesn't stop there! :( You have an 'A Thousand Paper Cranes 2' when you don't even have the first one finished! I mean, C'MON! :'(

Okay, so I read half of the "sequel" thinking that maybe you... I don't know... forgot to put that the original story- the first one- was complete, but after reading that you left off with Mr.Mertle about to reveal his side of the story, I thought, "Okay. Maybe there were complications with FF and she had no choice but to post the next chapter as a new story." 'Cause let's face it, FF has it's glitches. But upon reading the first 2 sentences I found I was wrong! But then I said to myself, "Elm. Relax. Keep reading. It could be a trick. A cruel trick, but a genius trick too." So I continued to read, and I found I was wrong. Again. It really was a sequel to an unfinished story! :O ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

How can you make me fall in love with your story to one of my favorite sports films ever and have this awesome site for it and everything, even going as far as to do massive and extensive research for it (which I completely understand, 'cause I do the same) then suddenly stop and post a sequel where you reveal Benny and Elaine are... like.. I reiterate: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So not cool! :'( *sniff* I refuse to read this "sequel" until the first one is done and finished. It's how I operate.

So, I'm gonna add this story to my alert list and hopefully you'll rectify this because I really do love this story! It had me laughing like the movie. It reminded me a lot of the movie actually, and I like your "AU"... for lack of a better description. So please, please, PLEASE, update when you have the chance. Don't leave me hanging! :(
11/1/2009 c7 1Keiri Bradon
Ew. I just took a test over all that ATP carbohydrates etc junk!
9/9/2009 c4 2AsianMe
“And they’ll be partying and having premarital sex like wild hippies on television, right papa?”

You are a bloody genius! I was laughing like I madwoman, I was.
9/5/2009 c4 puppylov1231
i tottaly love your story.

itz the best one ive ever read!

and trust me, ive read ALOT of fanfics.

"hey, what are you doing down there?"

"looking for bennys balls"

gawd i laughed so hard at that!

ya this is the 4th time ive read this story!

i absolutly love it!

^and i think i spelled that wroung... :)
8/14/2009 c16 Avery Maria
I still think you should have made Benny kiss Elaine instead of doing that weird/fake make-out thing. Haha!
8/14/2009 c14 Avery Maria
Guess who got a Fanfic account? Me! I guess that means that I'll have to watch out for my grammar, huh? Well, thanks for mentioning me in this chapter! I really really really do like the interaction between Benny and Elaine in the beginning. "This tastes like feet!" Major LOL!
8/10/2009 c1 chuffed-git
I really like this story! It's very well written and keeps me interested!

Keep up the good work and don't take too long to update!
8/6/2009 c15 1youtakemybreathaway
i love this story ! please update son:]
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