for A Thousand Paper Cranes11/13/2005 c2 HII
I'm confused. Is Alyssa Benny's sister or neighbor.Good story anyway. I like the details.
I'm confused. Is Alyssa Benny's sister or neighbor.Good story anyway. I like the details.
11/5/2005 c3 
3thebeebeegun
OMG! This is SUCH a wicked awesome story! Please, update soon! I like it A LOT! You certainly have lots of potential, as does this story! Well, I'll be waiting for more to come soon! Toodles!
-Brittany
3thebeebeegunOMG! This is SUCH a wicked awesome story! Please, update soon! I like it A LOT! You certainly have lots of potential, as does this story! Well, I'll be waiting for more to come soon! Toodles!
-Brittany
10/31/2005 c3 5beautyqueen321
This was a good chapter. I think that you should devote a chapter on what Alyssa thinks about Benny~ It could be a she likes him and he likes her but they're both to scared to admit it kind of thing.
5beautyqueen321This was a good chapter. I think that you should devote a chapter on what Alyssa thinks about Benny~ It could be a she likes him and he likes her but they're both to scared to admit it kind of thing.
10/29/2005 c2 Lydia
aw...i love your fan fic!
aw...i love your fan fic!
10/26/2005 c2 beautyqueen321
I really like this story, and if you should take it down to revise it, I hope that you do re-post it. It's really good... I think that as you write it a plot will develop.
Good luck with the AP classes... I know how that is, I took all AP and Gifted classes, so I completely understand how stressful it is!
I really like this story, and if you should take it down to revise it, I hope that you do re-post it. It's really good... I think that as you write it a plot will develop.
Good luck with the AP classes... I know how that is, I took all AP and Gifted classes, so I completely understand how stressful it is!
10/23/2005 c1 5beautyqueen321
This is a really good story and I am anxious to read future chapters! Keep up the great work!
5beautyqueen321This is a really good story and I am anxious to read future chapters! Keep up the great work!
10/19/2005 c1 Yna
Aw...the intro is so cute...i heart mushy things. just some constructive criticism...the ending seems kind of rushed. maybe you should...I don't know...lenghthen the conversation between benny and his dad. other than that, i can't wait to see what alyssa is like. i guess i could agree with the whole mary sue thing...OCs that are paired up with canon characters are automatically mary sues. they are only considered normal if they're, like, over weight with bad acne and all...but no one wants to read that. people read romance novels where the heroine is both beautiful and likeable. just don't make alyssa the super perfect mary sue...try to make her as normal as possible. well, that's all the CC i can give. it's mostly about MSs cause I get annoyed by them so much. DON'T DISAPPOINT ME! haha...just kidding. i have a feeling you'll do good on this story.
Aw...the intro is so cute...i heart mushy things. just some constructive criticism...the ending seems kind of rushed. maybe you should...I don't know...lenghthen the conversation between benny and his dad. other than that, i can't wait to see what alyssa is like. i guess i could agree with the whole mary sue thing...OCs that are paired up with canon characters are automatically mary sues. they are only considered normal if they're, like, over weight with bad acne and all...but no one wants to read that. people read romance novels where the heroine is both beautiful and likeable. just don't make alyssa the super perfect mary sue...try to make her as normal as possible. well, that's all the CC i can give. it's mostly about MSs cause I get annoyed by them so much. DON'T DISAPPOINT ME! haha...just kidding. i have a feeling you'll do good on this story.
10/18/2005 c1 lovely kaye
Great first chapter! It was super, grand, hip (you get the picture?) For serious ... Update ASAP Please! Thanks for reviewing my story, you have no idea how much I appreciate it, (Even if you are the only who reads it)
Great first chapter! It was super, grand, hip (you get the picture?) For serious ... Update ASAP Please! Thanks for reviewing my story, you have no idea how much I appreciate it, (Even if you are the only who reads it)
10/15/2005 c1 6Giggly Pancakes
Noo they arent ALL mary sues...mine arent! LOL! Well no yes they kinda-ish are. I dunno...lol! I really love this story though because we need some good Girl Next Door fics in this dusty bin of no Sandlot Fics! WOO WOO! I may write one because they are hell of a lot of fun to write! Please update soon!
Cakes
6Giggly PancakesNoo they arent ALL mary sues...mine arent! LOL! Well no yes they kinda-ish are. I dunno...lol! I really love this story though because we need some good Girl Next Door fics in this dusty bin of no Sandlot Fics! WOO WOO! I may write one because they are hell of a lot of fun to write! Please update soon!
Cakes