for Link:A shaded path11/3/2006 c4 
1HardlyEverUpdates
Better. Might I suggest proofreading and editing. I do that on all of my (non existant) stories.
1HardlyEverUpdatesBetter. Might I suggest proofreading and editing. I do that on all of my (non existant) stories.
11/3/2006 c3 HardlyEverUpdates
Why is each line one line seperate from other lines and itself?
Also, I agree with Forgotten Aquateen. You should try to explain more.
Why is each line one line seperate from other lines and itself?
Also, I agree with Forgotten Aquateen. You should try to explain more.
10/21/2006 c3 1Trust The Music
A little confusing, and you could use some detail to describe the monster instead of saying it looks weird for a monser. And the chapters are kind of short.
1Trust The MusicA little confusing, and you could use some detail to describe the monster instead of saying it looks weird for a monser. And the chapters are kind of short.
10/21/2006 c2 Trust The Music
Some mistakes and the format is all messed up. You might want to see to that. And I finally published my story, check it out!
Some mistakes and the format is all messed up. You might want to see to that. And I finally published my story, check it out!
10/21/2006 c1 Trust The Music
Alright it was okay. A little straightforward and you could use a little more dialogue. Like, instead of saying, 'Saria told Link to stall Ganon.' You could say '"Link, stall Ganon!" Saria yelled to Link as she ran into the kitchen.
Alright it was okay. A little straightforward and you could use a little more dialogue. Like, instead of saying, 'Saria told Link to stall Ganon.' You could say '"Link, stall Ganon!" Saria yelled to Link as she ran into the kitchen.
5/7/2006 c3 15Kiriona
You've got a good plot going on here, but you really need to add in some details. Without details, things move way too fast and the reader has no idea what's going on, and that can quickly turn someone off. But except for that, it's got my interest. keep going!
15KirionaYou've got a good plot going on here, but you really need to add in some details. Without details, things move way too fast and the reader has no idea what's going on, and that can quickly turn someone off. But except for that, it's got my interest. keep going!
11/22/2005 c2 Voltaire
Interesting story, but there is a glaring spelling error that you really need to fix in ch. 2.
"Link read on.'I'm giving you testes...'"
I really, really think you should fix that.
Work on the plot, and also your detail- it's kinda hard to understand what's going on, especially in the first chapter.
Interesting story, but there is a glaring spelling error that you really need to fix in ch. 2.
"Link read on.'I'm giving you testes...'"
I really, really think you should fix that.
Work on the plot, and also your detail- it's kinda hard to understand what's going on, especially in the first chapter.
10/18/2005 c1 HyruleKing
I'm not sure if you noticed, but my story "The Legend of Zelda: Noon of Darkness" isn't a story about a Zelda card game. It's a Legend of Zelda/Yu-Gi-Oh combo. Just wanted to point that out to you. By the way, neat story. Short beginning, but still good.
I'm not sure if you noticed, but my story "The Legend of Zelda: Noon of Darkness" isn't a story about a Zelda card game. It's a Legend of Zelda/Yu-Gi-Oh combo. Just wanted to point that out to you. By the way, neat story. Short beginning, but still good.