for Blood and Tears7/1/2006 c2 Sarah
what does a beta reader do?
what does a beta reader do?
6/26/2006 c2 
11Mystic Spirit Angel
I really like this story...you're a good author with much descripsion in u're stories...i like that!
11Mystic Spirit AngelI really like this story...you're a good author with much descripsion in u're stories...i like that!
6/14/2006 c2 17orangealuminumcan
Great story! Lots of potential and you've done a great job getting my interest. I can't wait for more! ♥
17orangealuminumcanGreat story! Lots of potential and you've done a great job getting my interest. I can't wait for more! ♥
6/14/2006 c1 6PKsDancingGirl
I believe that you are one of the top-grade writers on this site. You're work has substance to it, as opposed to most of the crud here.
However, there were a few minor things I noticed. For instance, the reason behind double vision is that the two eyes are focusing separately on the same thing. However, you say that Zuko can only see out of one eye, so it would technically be impossible for him to "see double."
One structural thing you could possibly work on is clearing up some things in your wording in order to make it more precise and concise. An example would be "There had been a time when Katara would have fought and raged at the implication that she was Zuko’s whore. That had been over two weeks ago." The first time I read that, I thought it meant that Katara had been Zuko's whore two weeks ago. You might have said something more like "There had been a period when Katara would have fought and raged at the implication that she was Zuko's whore. That time had passed at least two weeks before, but now..."
You don't have to take my advice, and you certainly don't have to change anything you don't want to; it's your work. And I think it's wonderful =] Please update, or the fanfiction portion of my summer may be boring.
6PKsDancingGirlI believe that you are one of the top-grade writers on this site. You're work has substance to it, as opposed to most of the crud here.
However, there were a few minor things I noticed. For instance, the reason behind double vision is that the two eyes are focusing separately on the same thing. However, you say that Zuko can only see out of one eye, so it would technically be impossible for him to "see double."
One structural thing you could possibly work on is clearing up some things in your wording in order to make it more precise and concise. An example would be "There had been a time when Katara would have fought and raged at the implication that she was Zuko’s whore. That had been over two weeks ago." The first time I read that, I thought it meant that Katara had been Zuko's whore two weeks ago. You might have said something more like "There had been a period when Katara would have fought and raged at the implication that she was Zuko's whore. That time had passed at least two weeks before, but now..."
You don't have to take my advice, and you certainly don't have to change anything you don't want to; it's your work. And I think it's wonderful =] Please update, or the fanfiction portion of my summer may be boring.
6/13/2006 c2 12shadowedhearts.ao3
Amazing! You really do have a talent for writing, I really like where this is going. Can't wait until the next chapter, looking forward to it very much!
Sauki-Jen
12shadowedhearts.ao3Amazing! You really do have a talent for writing, I really like where this is going. Can't wait until the next chapter, looking forward to it very much!
Sauki-Jen
6/13/2006 c1 shadowedhearts.ao3
Wow, how original and exiting! I can't wait to see how their bending was stripped and of Aang's death, this is going to be a great story.
:.Sauki-Jen.:
P.S I would be very interested to be your beta reader if you haven't got one yet...
Wow, how original and exiting! I can't wait to see how their bending was stripped and of Aang's death, this is going to be a great story.
:.Sauki-Jen.:
P.S I would be very interested to be your beta reader if you haven't got one yet...
6/7/2006 c2 Sparkle
Brilliant! Please please continue i wana know how there bending was striped and how Aang died! Please please continue!
Brilliant! Please please continue i wana know how there bending was striped and how Aang died! Please please continue!
5/31/2006 c2 10DessArtem
I really really really really really really want to know what happens next! Please please please put up another chappie soon!
10DessArtemI really really really really really really want to know what happens next! Please please please put up another chappie soon!
5/31/2006 c2 3Raaon Teisha
Hey, are you gonna update? Ever? Well, if you don't update, then that must mean you won't be needing someone to beta for you. But... if you still want one, I'm the best in the business. Back in elementary school, people would always come to me for help in spelling, grammar, etc. and they still do. So... PLEZE UPDATE!
Raaon Teisha (: :) ^_^
*adds to faves and alerts*
3Raaon TeishaHey, are you gonna update? Ever? Well, if you don't update, then that must mean you won't be needing someone to beta for you. But... if you still want one, I'm the best in the business. Back in elementary school, people would always come to me for help in spelling, grammar, etc. and they still do. So... PLEZE UPDATE!
Raaon Teisha (: :) ^_^
*adds to faves and alerts*
5/22/2006 c2 2Angel sai
This is a freaking intense fic! it's really well written!
about your Beta reader, I'm interested. Send me word if it's cool!
2Angel saiThis is a freaking intense fic! it's really well written!
about your Beta reader, I'm interested. Send me word if it's cool!
5/20/2006 c2 monica
Do you still need a Beta? Because my editing is pretty decent if I do say so myself. I've edited the school paper in high school and got a 33 on the writing portion of the ACTs... I have a ff account under mistress winter but my writing there is iffy. But from my point of view, you don't really need a Beta for grammar because no obvious mistakes jumped at me, and this is probably AU already. In fact, it is so why bother sticking to canon? This is more fun anyways. Come on. You know you want to update. Think of poor tortured Zuko, whose actions are honorable even though he has lost it, and his path to salvation and redemtion...Katara. Zutara is OTP, even if it isnt canon.
Besides, i think your stories top red november's. Which makes you number one? The plot is very new, no one is out of character, and the only criticism i have is that you haven't got more for me to devour.
Do you still need a Beta? Because my editing is pretty decent if I do say so myself. I've edited the school paper in high school and got a 33 on the writing portion of the ACTs... I have a ff account under mistress winter but my writing there is iffy. But from my point of view, you don't really need a Beta for grammar because no obvious mistakes jumped at me, and this is probably AU already. In fact, it is so why bother sticking to canon? This is more fun anyways. Come on. You know you want to update. Think of poor tortured Zuko, whose actions are honorable even though he has lost it, and his path to salvation and redemtion...Katara. Zutara is OTP, even if it isnt canon.
Besides, i think your stories top red november's. Which makes you number one? The plot is very new, no one is out of character, and the only criticism i have is that you haven't got more for me to devour.
5/20/2006 c1 monica
This looks to be a promising story, but what can expect from you? Well, if flattery won't inspire you to write more of this story, I don't know what will. But honestly, this is very good stuff; i'd pay to read this. Have you ever thought about writing a novel?
I've read pet project in the past and recently I got hooked on Zutara. So I'm scrolling through someone's favorites and here you are again. But you haven't updated in a while so you may have even lost your muse for this one right? Well, if anything, the last Avatar episode might motivate you...
This looks to be a promising story, but what can expect from you? Well, if flattery won't inspire you to write more of this story, I don't know what will. But honestly, this is very good stuff; i'd pay to read this. Have you ever thought about writing a novel?
I've read pet project in the past and recently I got hooked on Zutara. So I'm scrolling through someone's favorites and here you are again. But you haven't updated in a while so you may have even lost your muse for this one right? Well, if anything, the last Avatar episode might motivate you...
5/17/2006 c2 AngelFeet
UPDATE DAMIT!
UPDATE DAMIT!