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for Cherub, The Dreded Past

1/26/2010 c23 1smile96
god story :)
12/12/2009 c23 5To Sky With Love
Great story, Great Cliff hanger, Great everything except for the spelling and punctuation
8/30/2007 c1 Tenager 23
Brilliant. A new Cherub novel. I hope you write more!
6/11/2007 c14 1Sausage King
I've read up to 14. Expect a few more reviews from me.

I enjoy this story, even tho it is a bit of a chick ff.

In response to some other reviews about Kyle being gay. LMFAO! Kyle isn't gay, he just pretends to be for a laugh. Like myself. Like how he got all pissy when James kissed him in Maximum Security.

oh and “x + 5090, x90-50, x 40.” is absolutle rubbish. Its jibberish. it's maths gobbledegook.

Also some places to improve on, in the mission breifing it said they suspected the villian without any hardcore evidence. Even though she is a criminal there is no hardcore evidence that points her to the crime. In life, Intelligence forces spying on people with no evidence to at least make a conviction is illegal. Suspecting someone for the crime without hardcore evidence is legal gobbledegook (I luv the word). The reason intelligence forces spy, even though they may have enough evidence for a conviction, it may not be enough to find the crim guilty, or to try and uncover more crimes related to the orginal crime.

A lot of crap from me, now to continue reading•
4/11/2007 c23 joshyd
hey i like it this kind of story makes a change what happened to kyle being gay? and when are you going to put sum more up
4/11/2007 c18 joshyd
hey how old r they dont they drink?
2/22/2007 c23 2football.crazy

i like your story its really good!

but i think it's a bit to much about girlfriends and boyfriends and theres a bit to much talking but still i think it's really cool and you should deff keep writting!
2/18/2007 c23 1stoneofpurity
hello me agin av read since chapie 8 and i think its fab got me all wound up in the story want kno wht happen nxttbh i forget i already read this n went to check out ur reviews after i read it and i was totally shocked at what iwrote becasue ithink it was really good even tho kyles ghey lol ow well pleeasse write more thankies lufluf sop
12/23/2006 c8 stoneofpurity
Ok, I am going to give you some constructive criticism. Firstly you need to work on your characterisation, think about your characters strong points and about the characters that are already in the cherub series are like e.g. Kyle is gay so he wouldn't be kissing girls. You have also made some minor spelling and grammar mistakes, don't get me wrong everybody makes mistakes like this but it can make it confusing, so you might get a BETA to help you with this kind of thing like plots, spelling and grammar etc. Also you may want have less conversations or brake the conversations up with paragraphs describing things, etc and make some sentences longer key rules do writing are,

*short sentences for tension and action

*long sentences for descriptions and characters feelings.

Other then that it is great I really like your story line so far, please don't let this put you of but make you a better writer.
6/22/2006 c23 dansey doo
It's got a good storyline but there are quite a few editing problems in it. You need to thouroughly proofread your work before posting. Keep it up!
5/1/2006 c23 33Whole Lotta Sarah Tribbiani
I enjoyed this but isn't Kyle gay? Ah well! It was good anyway!
3/16/2006 c23 2Mpro1
This is going great! Ok, so you need a few more commas and other small things, but I love how you make James and Kyle HOT! Since when I Kyle straight? Doesn't matter; honestly, I like him better this way. I always felt a little uncomfortable reading those scenes...

Update soon, Mpro1
3/4/2006 c3 delectedaccountplease
oh crap, now i've gone and made a fool of myself. okay, wait isn't james going with kerry and kyle gay? i noe jack is a girl now :$ i accidently skipped chapter 2
3/4/2006 c23 delectedaccountplease
wait... jack is a girl right? sowwi... didn't really read it all. mum screaming at me. is kyle like klye as in kyle blueman? i know this sound stupid buh... :$
2/21/2006 c23 Mann
That was really interesting. I really like the story and how you linked up your characters with the original characters. This is a good piece of work.
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