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6/26 c55 Alexandra
Hey I just wanted to let you know how incredibly excited I was to see that you’d posted again! This is my all time favourite series, I’ve read all the books through minimum 5 times, you have crafted such brilliant characters and an incredible plot- honestly I think you’re a genius. Congratulations on the masters degree as well, what a huge accomplishment! Was just wondering if there were any particular works that inspired your own, it’s difficult to find Draco characterised in this way?
Hope you keep up the writing!
6/17 c55 DuchessOfSpud
I’ve been dog sitting/house sitting all week on top of work, so I’ve been really bad about keeping up with my notifications. So, it was an absolutely WONDERFUL surprise to get on here today and see that this story has been updated! I may be late, but in no ways is my enthusiasm any less to read the new chapter!

So starting out, I LOVE the way Snape has managed to find a way to prepare his students to the oncoming attack! The fact that he’s also managed to give Draco some power over his house and put him in charge of the training is just a big cherry on top! I can’t help but cackle as I try to imagine Draco training these students. I just have a hard time imagining him in that position!

I ADORE Ginny in this! The way she interacts with Draco is fantastic! She really does manage to throw him off really well! I’m just imagining the shock and blush on his face right now! I probably looked like an idiot with a shit eating grin on my face the entire time I was reading that scene! It’s great that we’re seeing so much more of her this go around! And I really do like the way her and Draco’s relationship (though it’s not really much of one yet) is growing. I feel like it really is helping build up and give a stable base to what we enjoyed the first go around.

And finally! The attack! I was wondering what you were going to do with it and was so excited! The way you described the students reactions going of is such a accurate description of what would actually happen. I can picture my high school right now as kids halfheartedly start following a fire alarm. I really felt for the Gryffindors. Whenever you’re in a massive crowd like that, there really is no fighting against. And this entire scene sort of makes me realize that this school has probably never really practiced any sort of drill and taught the students how to react appropriately. After all, why would they have needed to. Hogwarts is one of the safest places within the magical world. Up until that past 5 years I guess….

Whenever you described the dark ghoulthe sound of it, the way it crawled around the ceiling, the description of its appearance!I could feel my skin crawling! And to have so many attacking creatures at once! This attack went on MUCH longer than it did previously! It actually really felt like a life threatening situation with MAJOR possible consequences! And I loved how much more active all of the students were in fighting back this time. Seriously, this has become one of my absolute favorite chapters due to the attack scene alone!

It was really nice to see more of what happened with Stevick. And I really liked that but you added about how it’s rare for one person to get through the wards. Though it really doesn’t mean well for our beloved characters, it make me smirk.

You can really see the bond between Bill and Draco growing. And not just with the big scenes, though the one after Draco left Dumbledore’s really was lovely and exactly what the doctor ordered, but little tidbits and small sentences dabbled all throughout this story. You can see how they’re increasingly coming to care about each other more and more. It’s really heartwarming and is one of the main reasons I fell in love with this story to begin with.

And lastly, hell yeah, Ginny! You go girl!Shooting the Golden Trio’s arguments down one by one! And helping the likelihood of the Neutral Party actually becoming a thing! I didn’t even have a clue that that was some she had been thinking about! And clearly she’s mentioned it before given Hermione’s “Not this again.” I am REALLY loving how fleshed out she’s getting in this! It’s like with every scene she’s in, I love her more as a character! I really can’t wait to see what else she does!

This comment is way too long again…. I seem to have that problem a lot…. It’s hard though because I just jot things down as I read! Hopefully, this comment isn’t too hard to follow because of that… I’m glad that you’ve managed to finish school! Congratulations! Sorry to hear about the rejections for your book, but given how well you write, I truly believe you’ll be able to make it happen someday!

I noticed a few typos here and there, but outside of those few, you really have managed to outdo yourself with this one! Fabulous read as always! I’ll be waiting very impatiently for the next chapter!
6/14 c55 1Just call me Stevie
I’m always so excited to see a new chapter from you, and this was excellent as always. You are just so talented in your writing and I love the amount of detail and effort you put in. Thank you!
6/13 c55 iconic-ships
Spectacular revisions as usual! Loved the Draco and Ginny slow burnthey just make me so happy. I honestly love how Ginny is characterized here and I can’t wait to see their relationship develop more. Congrats on your masters and can’t wait to see the next chapter!
6/13 c55 4Charlee Toombs
This is an awesome transformation. I really enjoy having Ginny in the first book. Also, despite it being 20k works it only took me like 3 hrs to read so I'm happy it was nice and long! Please share your non-fanfiction book when you get published so I can read that, I love how you write and I will take all I can get!
6/13 c55 Guest
Love this new chapter. What a treat to see this update in my inbox! And a huge congratulations to you on finishing up with grad school!
6/13 c55 2Summers fang
Absolutely wonderful! This chapter was a welcome update. I await more.
Draco is amazing and reading his character portrayal always makes me will myself to give people chances to prove themselves.
striving daily to be better, thank you.
5/10 c1 AF
Did you take Lord Draco out in the revisions or did I just miss it?
5/8 c49 AF
I read the original years ago and am reading both original and revised now. I've enjoyed the revised except for the sex. I've always believed that a story can do without it (and constant cursing) and still have the story portray what the writer wants to get across. I am glad it was short part of the story, but I like the original of this chapter better because of that.
1/19 c30 Freya54
Hallo, ich habe jetzt beide Fassungen gelesen und finde sie immer noch großartig.
Die erste Fassung hat mich begeistert, weil sie für mich noch runder wirkte. Ich habe nicht so viel hinterfragt und das genommen, was da war. Draco in dieser Form ist wunderbar. Nach aussen kalt und herablassend und innen weicher und überlegt. Allerdings hat er auch die nötige Härte, wenn es einmal schwierig ist.
Die neue Form hat mehr Raffinesse und geht mehr auf einzelne Begebenheiten ein. Dadurch entstehen auch besondere Momente und ich konnte bemerken, dass du gut überlegt hast, was du ändern wolltest.
Werden die restlichen Kapitel auch noch überarbeitet? Ich werde nachschauen.
1/18 c54 Guest
11/14/2021 c54 2Madame Mermaid
Good Evening,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get around to writing this review - meant to do it right away, but life has been incredibly stressful this term, and most days I feel like I could sleep 12 hours straight because I'm so tired. Hopefully it's only a few more months, and by February I'll be done with most exams. It was (is, obviously) very good to know you are still alive, probably also rather swamped with work, and hopefully keeping healthy and doing well. Good luck learning how to code - I'm absolutely no help in that department, but if you ever need to know something German or Latin, let me know. ;-) Let's continue our summer conversation as soon as work's let up a bit - I'm hoping for a bit of a breather in mid-December, once my term project is finished.

On to the chapter! Needless to say, I enjoyed this a lot! By having Pansy point out to Draco that he's in danger of being sacrificed as expendable, and thus making Draco slowly doubt both his father's power and his own importance to the cause and to Lucius, you've made his quest for independence and his later 'conversion' to the Order so much more believable. It's understandable to see him try and defend Lucius' actions and to excuse his neglect, but also to watch him realise that Bill's been much more active in his support. Naturally, as a child who's only ever had Lucius to show him affection, Draco would want to hold on to that connection and to his belief that Lucius can protect him, but at the same time, he's too intelligent not to understand that wishful thinking of this kind might lead him into a trap. It'll be interesting to see how his relationship with Lucius changes till the end of this story - we didn't really cover that in the first installment, only saw the consequences of the fall-out in the disownment in the second book. Might be cool to see Lucius' reaction at the end, once (as I assume will happen) Draco defies his and Moldy-Voldy's wishes and up and leaves, though I'm not sure how you're going to manage that, since I'm guessing we'll still lose Bill as a spy. A direct confrontation is out of the question, I'd assume, since it would finish this business too quickly and take quite a bit of supsense out of the second book (plus, I love that scene at the beginning in the Leaky Cauldron), not to mention be completely illogical. To sum up, I love where this is going and can't wait to see how you'll further expound on Draco's commitment to becoming an independent figure on the board.

What was really cool in this chapter was watching Draco observe Stevick setting up his try for the Horcrux, and how you managed to involve the DA in that scheme. As a confirmed fan of both action and heist films, it's great to have people set up to finally DO something, especially after the conversation-heavy chapters of late. So I'm hoping for some wonderfully choreographed fight scenes, creative creatures and perhaps a twist on the race for the Horcrux. (Btw, we never found out if and how the Order destroyed that Horcrux in the first installment, did we?) The idea of having Stevick try and take down the wards is lovely, since it should give Bill an opportunity to shine. And I'm obviously quite thrilled to see how you recast the Draco-Ginny-rescue-moment and Draco's realisation that all the mayhem doesn't scare her, but rather seems to entertain her. I mean, his attraction for her has to start somewhere, and I would assume that realisation has something to do with it. So as you can see, I'm waiting on baited breath for what you have in store for us next.

Bill's behind-the-scenes perspective on the Death Eater meeting felt a bit redundant this time, though I do understand why you added it. Also, I was wondering, since Severus and Lucius were talking about what information Severus passes on to Dumbledore, does Lucius know that Severus is not just a double-agent, but a spy for the Order, or does he just suspect and is willing to take the risk, and if one of those alternatives is true, is he only keeping silent so that Severy can continue to protect Draco (and the other Slytherins, by extension), or is he also enough of a businessman and strategist to realise that having some powerful competition (i.e. the Order) might be better (both for him and his position as a shadow player and for the world) than having Voldemort take the country in one fell sweep? (Sorry, that was a very German sentence in terms of length...)

What else is there? I really enjoyed your head canon for the Malfoy family, and how Isobel (is that her name...?) called into question Draco's tale of their protection of prosecuted muggle-born wizards and witches by pointing out that later generations exploited the life debts earned by their forebears. Perhaps this is an observation Draco will have to do some thinking on at a later moment? It would be interesting to see whether his perspective on his life of wealth and privileges changes over the course of the next few books, along with his allegiance.

And I've once again realised how much I love to observe your version of Pansy. To be honest, she feels more like a college-age girl than a pupil at secondary school the way you describe her, due to her unconscious awareness of the pull of her sexuality and the way she exploits this like a pro, but then the same can be said for Draco and other characters, and in a way, I think it's unavoidable when you write plots involving a civil war and high stakes. What I enjoy is seeing the dichotomy of her vulnerability and inability to change her fate on the one hand, and the expert way she handles people and gathers information on the other hand. In a way, I wish we could fast-forward to book 4 where we get to see her perspective on things, since she's such an interesting character through whose eyes to watch the world.

Regarding the upcoming chapter, as I said, I'm hoping for some great action scenes there. Not sure what to think of the library scene at the beginning - I understand what you meant to do with it, but it seems a bit too tame or too childish for the second installment, even though watching Ginny be unimpressed by Draco's glares and reputation is always fun. But I'm sure you'll figure things out - we need to get everybody into the middle of the fight somehow, after all. I do love the conversation between Draco and Dumbledore, both because Draco manages to play the headmaster, and because Dumbledore subtly feels out Draco's allegiance and family connections in his offer to write to Lucius. Plus, you finally introduce Lukas to the story, which is cool.

As for additional scenes, I think Stevick's interrogation might profit if you rewrite it - I understand why it's there, but in its current version, it doesn't really add a lot to the story, does it? The Order doesn't gain any new information, and the Death Eaters don't have to worry what he might let slip due to the Fidelius. Btw, it might be interesting to see how the Death Eaters react to the failed attempt to gather the Horcrux, the capture of one of their own, and to learn if they somehow heard rumors of Draco's involvement in Ginny's rescue - I wonder how Lucius would go about trying to deny/explain that one, and what he thinks of it. And I really want to know if any in the Order or among the Death Eaters, other than Draco, remember that Claire's allegiance is still suspect. (We've seen so little of her of late, which is a pity, since I still think she makes for a great villain and a really shady character, if you flesh her out a bit more.)

Thus, lots of wishes. I'm somewhat worried that the next chapter will double in size compared to the first installment, which might mean you won't get around to updating any time soon, which would be a pity. But, as always, it's most important you are well and healthy. :-) All the best,

Madame Mermaid

PS: Have you ever thought about writing a kind of James-Bond version of Draco? I watched the new Bond-movie a few weeks ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it, and when I was rereading some of this series, I thought it might be a career choice for him as an adult, though perhaps a relationship with Ginny would be difficult then. (Or maybe just cast her as the partner in crime? ;-) ) Just saying...
10/29/2021 c15 Guest
10/23/2021 c53 4Charlee Toombs
I find all the debate clubs interactions so curious, and I like that it seems to be working for Dumbledores ends even if it takes a different route then he intended. and it's nice to see Pansy on Draco's side of the fence too. it makes her future more foreseeable.

I like that Draco isn't a perfect genius, it makes joining the order make even more sense if he has moments where he doesn't figure things out entirely on his own...

Absolutely, good call on adding in Lucius's side.. it's really nice to get more info on his psyche early on, especially with how things turn with him.
10/23/2021 c54 2JusticeNotRevenge
Amazing chapter, as usual! Your hc for the Malfoy family was very interesting! And I love seeing how differently Draco and Bill can view the same thing(in this case, the letter from Lucius)!
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