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for The Golden Age: Chaotic Cosmos

9/20/2009 c22 8Strata-Assassin
This review might be a tad short, and for that, I'm terribly sorry. I just went through it so fast that I didn't stop and make any fun markings on what to ramble about. O.o

"Ohshitohshitohshitohshit!" Is the best line ever. It looks better with context, but that was pretty much awesome, hands down. I have to wonder, though. Can't they ever do things the easy way?

Alright, here's an editorial-ish view on the take off bit. It was alluring-by situation alone-but I found myself still relaxed. What I mean by that is, I wasn't sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what was about to happen. That could've been because I already knew/expected what was about to happen-and with your ability to keep me guessing that's rather surprising-but I think it had something to do with the description too. You seemed to be getting better at the description by this point, but I think this is the area that really needed some detailed attention. Perhaps there was too much dialogue and the reader never really got the sense that there was something real-and dangerous-happening outside the plane. We were all so engrossed in how the characters were interacting instead of being worried FOR them in the predicament they got their asses sucked into. Am I making sense? I guess, just Vlad and Alkire's reactions at the end didn't strike me as believable after they went through such a-at least it felt to me-low stress situation. And now I think I'm just being too picky/cruel.

And now we get to see some squeemish governmental officials. I think, for once, we should have some tough-skinned people in authority. Just to mix things up. O.o

There's one thing I'm a tad confused on. Cervantes keeps spewing stuff about a "war" but I'm not really convinced things have escalated to that level just yet. Perhaps there's stuff going on off-screen that the reader doesn't know about, but what I sense from the people right now is more confusion than anger. Half the people don't even know what hit him or her and Cervantes is talking like the universe has already started throwing nukes at each other. Did I just miss something and now I'm muttering nonsense?

Cervantes... That devious bastard... I love him!

9/17/2009 c21 Strata-Assassin
Seeing as my last review was terribly short, I just might have to make this one long... Although, I have to be getting back to class/meeting with the professor here pretty quick. We'll see what I can muster up.

Were there really "few civilian casualties" in Orb? For some reason-like from Shinn's POV in Destiny-I thought there'd be a fair share. Given, most of the attacks were on military bases but for some reason I can imagine a decent amount.

No, that roof scene didn't bother me too much. Cags did it on her own, kudos to her. And she punched Athrun for being an egotistical bastard. Double kudos. I was a little disappointed in how you had this grand revelation with Cags and Athrun, but didn't bring it back towards the end of the section; a full circle effect, if you will. It's almost as if they forgot the whole thing happened. O.o Dunno, I might just be looking in to this too closely and the whole thing was awesome/cute-ish so I'll just stop ranting now.

Katie and Chanel remind me of the twins in Ouran when they finish each other's sentences like that. I would say that was where you got the inspiration, but you're never seen that Anime/read the manga. Anyway, it's a fun concept, but unfortunately I don't know any twins who do it. And I know my fair share of twins.

...And now I'm thinking they can actually read each other's minds. Cool! And freaky at the same time, but I'll stick with the cool notion.

As we see the harsh side of Yzak. Glad to see he hasn't lost too much of his morals.

Ah! Have to go! Damnit...

9/17/2009 c20 Strata-Assassin
Yikes! A wedding in three months! Good thing Vanai doesn't have to plan it because not only is that terribly ridiculous, it'd be extremely stressful. I'm thinking that girl'd want anything and everything and just the thought of people trying to get that for her in three months makes me cringe. I guess it makes sense to have one really quick, but if it's anything more than a "little" wedding I'd be absolutely shocked.

And so the kids finally know where Sai is, well that's a comforting thought. Well, kinda. Maybe not so much comforting as-say-about time? I wonder how Sai's going to react to seeing them again and then attempt to explain what the hell he's been doing for the past few months? I'll bring the popcorn to that meeting, for sure.

I admired the description in the last part. While I'm still a little skeptical on profession soldiers just shooting people thing, it makes a little sense. Although, jumpy might not have been the best way to describe them. Perhaps, efficient or something. Anyway, I'll let those morals go. Back to the description, it was really nice. Perhaps I'm just in the mood to see all the gore... O.o Oh well, I liked it and even the realistic approach to how the store owner died. Poor guy.

Kira and Lacus escape death again... *sigh* Yes, yes, plot purposes, but they had to be the only ones NOT to die? Ah, well. I have to keep reminding myself this was written a long time ago.

9/13/2009 c19 Strata-Assassin
And we start off with Alkire and Raine. *Cringe* Blunt much, Alkire?

Yay! Back to Frost and the others. It’s about time we got into some non-romantic things. I can only stand it for so long, you see. :P I admit, I’m gonna miss Amy. Obviously not for the same reasons Frost, Ashino, and Cray did, but she was a strong-willed female and—ah!—she died! Didn’t I just mention something about this a few reviews back… O.o I hate it when I’m right. Oh, I was overjoyed for the redhead, by the way. There needs to be more redheads in the world, it’s as simple as that, so any time one pops up in a story, I get really excited. Y’know what? Every redhead in the series, though, dies. O.o My luck sucks…

Gotta love how there’s another attack on Pearl Harbor. Out of all the places, why pick that one? Yes, there’s a military base there and the SEED people are hiding out near there, but I was hoping for a place a little less… historic. You see, Pearl Harbor’s been overused in the history books already, so it’d be nice to see something different in fiction.

I really like the sibling bickering between Kira and Cags. It’s like, after everything that’s been going on, they’re still brother and sister. It’s a sense of normalcy in such a chaotic environment that’s refreshing. Given, they bicker over really intimate stuff—going back to my gripe on sex as a theme…-but it’s still nice to see. And Lacus has no other choice than to sit back and watch. True in many respects and sad in others. Sometimes it’s just best to let them duke it out themselves; “get if off their chests” if you’ll permit me the cliché. If they keep it bent up for a long time, the world would end. O.o At least I’d feel bad for Athrun and Lacus.

The prison talk was priceless.

It was also really nice to see their battle sense. I’m sure the “old timers” (I use those terms lightly of course) are impressed. Obviously, these kids know what they’re talking about and no doubt that will create some form of understanding between everyone in the future. If anything, it was nice to see they haven’t lost their touch. Yes, peaceful times and all, but it’s still a nice skill to have so that when—or if—a situation arises, they can react quickly.

And we have another moment of helplessness on the SEED characters’ parts. Good to see. Since they were so close to Pearl Harbor—well, in the general area—I was thinking they were going to “fly to the rescue.” I’m so glad they didn’t. More battles might have been fun to read about, but they need to just be kids for once and not heroes. I’m getting sick of the “hero” genre, so I’m glad we’re slowly moving in the direction of “realistic”.

The reactions were good, too, by the way. I’m interested to see how they’ll react once the shock and grief wears off though. Pissed? I’d certainly think so. I wonder when they’re going to get their mobile suits too. After all, I thought they were mostly scrap metal by this time—well, the Freedom came back in Destiny—but after all this talk about recovering them, I’m looking forward to the comeback. I hope they spring Kisaka out of jail too. I love that guy.

9/13/2009 c18 Strata-Assassin
And now we get onto the cuteness with all the couples and I remember why I made WW in the “Limited Omniscient” POV. That’s just way too many characters for me to have to worry about and then trying to get all their personalities right? I have trouble with my main character alone, let alone throwing in eight other people to have to worry about. Given, they all act similar in some ways, but they’re still different characters by many means. Kudos to you, I guess. You have breeched a realm I wouldn’t dare cross. O.o

The only thing I didn’t like about the couple parts is you made Miri look like a “mean girl” in the sense that she wouldn’t let Dearka have sex with her. It didn’t help that he was throwing the video broadcast in her face and, honestly, if I was Miri I’d have slapped him over the face for being so damned forward. Sure, it’s something they should openly talk about but to guilt her by saying he’s be the ONLY one still a virgin? I wanted to pop into the story and punch him for her. It’s not a race, for goodness sakes.

Despite Dearka being an ass before, his remark about Kira and Lacus was quite amusing—and I admired Miri’s response. Leave it to Dearka to have really bad timing. Yzak took that role in the first few chapters so it’s interesting to see his best friend taking the slack. Then again, I think Dearka enjoyed it more than Yzak did… Kinda creepy in some respects.

Speaking of Yzak, he has girl problems of his own. Two girls to be exact. And he likes them both equally? I stand by what I said before; one of them is going to die. Just a fact readers/writers have to live with, I’m afraid. I’m glad that boy’s close with his mother, though. I figured there was close relationship between those two, but SEED never expounded on it. I wish they would’ve because there wasn’t much “parental” love in that Anime. Yeah, there was some in Orb, but that was just to show how peaceful and perfect the place was. Now, if they would’ve done more with Yzak and his mom, then it would’ve showed the same kind of peacefulness in the PLANTs despite what was going on. I guess just to show that not every person with power was corrupt to the point of insanity. O.o And to prove that not all Coordinators were the bane of humanity.

Ah, another short-ish one. Interesting. I’m glad you broke off and looked into each couple individually. Not too keen on the fact that everything revolved around whether or not they’d have sex with each other, but—well—that’s real life… I guess. Some chapters have to be “low key” anyway, but I hope that won’t be a main theme of this story…

9/13/2009 c17 Strata-Assassin
Now we get back to Sai. I officially hate this guy and I’m not too glad you had me feel that way about him. O.o I loved Sai in the Anime, but now I wish I could toss him out a ten story window. I guess “self-centered bastard” is the only thing I can think of to call him. And now he’s gonna have a kid? I hope Vanai treats him like hell during the pregnancy. Yes, cruel, but I’m not happy with him at the moment. I don’t even think she realizes what she’s getting into. “Yay, I’m pregnant!” Hm, do you know what that entails? Can’t be lounging in undergarments anymore, I’ll tell ya that much. I wonder if the princess even realizes she has to change a lot of diapers… Out of all the couples, I never expected them to have a kid first. Yes, it was planned by her freaky father but still, I think they’re the least stable of them all and they’re taking the biggest leap towards “adulthood.” I’m terrified for them and feel really sorry for the baby. O.o

…An engagement? …Just like that? Did I miss the sexual tension between the two or was this really just a solution to a problem? Hm, not so sure what to make of this one. Sure, Raine and Alkire are probably the best choice for father and mother figures, but it’s just so abrupt and…weird. Forgive me if it takes me a long time to get used to it. Cute? Sure, but not something I really approve of at the moment. Perhaps if there were a few more signs before this to indicate their attraction to each other I’d accept it a little better, but as soon as you start a conversation with, “Last time I checked, I wasn’t your girl,” things get a bit skeptical. I’m not a fan of instant romances, so, yes, I will cringe a bit on future scenes with them until it becomes “normal” from my stand point.

I won’t get into my feminist ideals on how Kira handled the “Lacus crying” situation—could be very exhausting—but it had its cute moments, and moments I just cringed/sighed. We’ll leave it at that.

Hm, shorter chapter, it seemed. Ah well, it was good even though you probably would never guess it by such a review. O.o Sorry about that; in a weird mood at the moment.

9/13/2009 c16 Strata-Assassin
Ah, and after a long break, I come back to some nice mobile suits. How fun. Gotta love new merchandise and the fact that it can blow up a continent and slice a few people in half only adds to the drama.

Oh yeah, the drama. So, who knew an innocent Twister game could turn so—well—not innocent? I would say that’ll teach them a lesson to not be so adventurous/forth coming about their relationship, but this is Athrun and Cags. I really feel bad for them though, despite my obvious discomfort about the situation. Given, she’s done squat since the war ended (can’t really be helped since they’re in hiding) but losing everything she’s worked for—everything she’s ever known—has to be quite a blow. Athrun’s gotta be kicking himself pretty hard for this one. Sure, he didn’t force her into such a situation, but he’s bound to be blaming himself in some way. O.o I feel bad that Kisaka got sucked into it all. Alright, I feel bad everyone got sucked into it. Yeah, just a real ridiculous situation and all they can do is sit back and watch. Nice to see, actually. I mean, Kira’s not jumping out to play the hero or anything. For once, he’s helpless.

I admit I found a part kinda funny. So, Cags faints—or nearly faints?—when she sees the broadcast and Dearka and Athrun just... leave her there. O.o Somehow, I’d think Athrun would take care of her first and then talk things out with Dearka. Sure, the girl can take care of herself, but her life just got ripped out from under her and now she’s lying unconscious on the floor. And no one seems to care. O.o

Ah, the “Berserk” mode. I could really got into a huge “Weapon’s Waltz” rant here, but I think I’ll hold off for obvious reasons. Who wants to hear that kind of thing anyway? Given, it’d be one hell of a time, but no; I’ll spare the general public. Besides, I’m interested in seeing where you go with the concept. Open minded, I guess.

Alright, really beginning to love the oldies. Sure, I liked them a lot before, but now they can drive like that, own things such as villas on a distant island, and can still kick a decent amount of ass. All good points, if you ask me. Not to mention, one of the “kickers of ass” is a girl. Woot! You know I’m stoked for that one and she better not die… Somehow, the strong-willed girls always seem to die because they pull a “guy” move or something. Their pride gets the best of them and because they think they can do something any other guy can do, they get their ass kicked. So, basically every girl has to be a “damsel” in order to stay alive in a series. Very frustrating if you ask me. Doesn’t give a good image to our world either. Some girls can take care of herself. Most of the time anyway.

Here’s a little nitpick. Would putting Lacus and Kira in the car with Alkire really be a good idea? Given, the guy didn’t plan on getting caught, but on the off chance he did, wouldn’t less “famous” people be the ones Alkire wanted to get caught with? For example: Dearka and Miri, or Yzak and the twins. Not like they would want anyone to get caught instead of someone else, but there’d be less repercussions if it was any of those guys, don’t ya think?

I still cringe at CAPs by the way… Can’t even write them myself half the time. O.o

Ah, damn it. Here we go with Kira’s self-righteous speech. *sigh* Admirable? Yes. Appealing? Sure. Annoying? As all get out…

I officially want to see paint missiles be put into effect. Not from the cockpit of the enemy machine, of course. :P

8/28/2009 c106 5AtrumUnas
I kind of can't believe I actually finished that. When I first found the story and saw the 7 digit word count I blanched, stared, said it couldn't be possible, then said I'd never finish it. Yet, I finished it. In record time, too. A million words in a couple months, not bad if I do say so myself. Course *I* didn't write it!

This story is nothing short of awesome. Awe inspiring as well. Pretty much any word with awe in it that isn't awful can be used in this context. The attention to detail I've seen in this is incredible. I've said it before; I rarely whoop or cheer when reading full length novels, even more so when reading fan fiction. I've done exactly that more times reading Chaotic Cosmos than every other story on this site combined. That's not an exaggeration; nothing makes it onto my favorite's list unless it absolutely deserves to be there, and this does.

Still, there are a number of flaws I've seen, but considering the volume and rarity of said flaws, it can all be excused. Most importantly, I'd say that the ending was kind of lame. I loved the synchronization between Kira and Lacus; that was excellent. But really, you just mentioned in passing that ZAFT and the Isolation had stopped fighting each other and as such that Frost's destiny had come to pass. It was like it wasn't really all that important at all. And a couple chapters there were some brain farts; when the Clyne Faction crashed into Denver, for example, you said that Waltfeld had elected to stay behind on the Eternal. However, he was shown busting out of the rubble in the next chapter, and in shock at NORAD in the final battle. Just things like that that, while not really damaging to the story, are noticeable to people like me.

Despite all of that, I loved it. Even the things I didn't like I loved because, even if I don't like the way a story goes or how a battle is fought, a character's philosophy or the development in their minds, I can easily recognize brilliant writing when I see it and there's nothing I enjoy more than reading brilliant writing. Maybe writing brilliant writing, but the one is a close second to the other. Thank you for writing it either way; the Cosmos provided me with a ton of enjoyment over a long, long time.


Oh great, now I have to read the Eden Disaster... Man, do you ever STOP!


8/28/2009 c102 Fenix of Fenrir
Now this is AWESOME ,at last Kira is the Super combat martial/artist and top ace pilot in the world.

This storyline is better then most animes and manga.

Have you tried going Publishing? If you Haven't ,I suggest you Try it.

I think is going to be a HUGE SUCCESS in my opinion(and i've watched and read more than 150 animes and manga, wich the stories are far from this one).

Jesus Christ this is Better than Fullmetal Alchemist ,D.Gray-man,Bleach,etc...

GOD i think i am your fan man,GOOD JOB
8/23/2009 c93 AtrumUnas
Normally I wouldn't bother considering I'm not even close to finishing this (100,0 is still a large margin) but I'll bite anyway.

1 - Cyprus - I rarely whoop when reading novels, even more so when reading fan fiction. I well and truly whooped when I read his first SEED Mode activation.

2 - Cray Thresher - He was a pretty pointless OC that had some evil dialog and a personality you have to hate but that's about it. Frost made me shiver (something quite rare in fan fiction), Ashino made me curious. Cray? Eh...

3 - Elemental - The Elemental was a sound design, an excellent mass production unit. I would have had trouble designing a machine to fill its role or do it any better and from me that is high praise.

4 - Though I hate the guy to the fiber of my being, Kira Yamato. His monologue to Cray at Carpentaria seriously made me want to rip at my hair and scream (I knew Cray would get away after the first paragraph), but I know it is something he would do word for word.

4.5 - Though Kira is done exceptionally well for the canon character, I have to admit that Michael Genesis was pure genius. It's one of the most skilled devices I've ever seen in fan fiction. I didn't realize he was Mu La Flaga until he muttered Murrue at the peace conference. I figured out who the Vengeance's initial pilot was on a word and a prayer. That fact I couldn't figure him out places Mu at a close second.

5 - There really isn't a canon character that you don't portray well. There are couple slips where I wonder where some random comment came from but those are quite rare.

6 - A little general info would be nice, specifically in regards to ZAFT. You brought up a couple terms throughout the Cosmos, Ace Commander and Red Coat being the most prominent. Shinn Asuka mentions them a couple times during his segments, says that Commander Schwarze was only one kill away from being an AC. So what is it? What makes an Ace Commander different from being an Ace or a Commander? I wouldn't think a pilot would become a Commander without first being an Ace so what's the difference? Also, Red Coat. In Canon they're the top graduates from a class at the Academy in the PLANTs. In Cosmos they're a sect of ZAFT that're super-soldiers, the best of the best with enhanced training and experience to bear the honor of wearing red. So all of the old Le Creuset Team would be Red Coats, knowing "martial arts" and some tactics, so why isn't it really shown? Maybe it was, but I didn't see it.

Anyway, there's my addition to your admittedly low review count. It makes me sick; I've got five hundred on a piece of * story and you've got 316 with over a million words! The world works in strange ways some times.

8/15/2009 c81 AtrumUnas
Okay, this is a completely random review and not my final take on the thing so I won't even go in to the stuff I like about this story. the reason I'm even writing this at all is a hunch of mine. Now, I've read this linearly, from chapter 1 to chapter 81. As such I have no knowledge of the future parts of this story and I'm really just testing my analysis skills here. Reading this chapter you mentioned the Vengeance, one of the next-gen machines and how his pilot had no need of vengeance. However, Rey was another candidate but fell out to the real pilot, which Noah said was somewhat ironic. My guess is that that pilot you're referring to is Mu La Flaga, reborn from the dead just like Neo Roanoke was. Mu has no need of vengeance since Rau is dead. It's irony because Rey, who is a clone of Mu's father, was outperformed by the child. If I'm right, shame on me for seeing everything possible in a story. If I'm wrong, shame on me again for wasting your time. So, my question is, am I right?
8/10/2009 c15 8Strata-Assassin
Poor Murrue, not only has she lost the love of her life, but she has to watch everyone else fondle theirs... I hope she snaps out of it soon though. Always admired that girl and having her mope around like this is quite unnerving. I'm thinking her and Waltfeld will get together. I've always liked that pair, but as soon as Neo showed up, I decided I'd rather have Mwu and Murrue and then Andy be the big brother kind of thing. Andy needs someone though... That guy is way too awesome to be stuck alone after all he's been through. Yes, love Aisha to death, but life goes on.

Hah! Kira's reaction to the other drivers on the road reminds me of some of my own experiences. O.o Some people just don't know what they're doing...

And yes, no scene can go without the evidence of the slight wind to whip through the hair. Never really understood that. Breezes suck with long hair and yet Anime make them look like the sexiest thing alive. O.o

Ah yes, the sudden disappearance when there's a mad killer on the loose looking to kill them. Great job guys, give the folks at home even another heart attack. I kinda wish Kira would crash in just to make sure they were still alive. A panicked Kira is always a nice image.

7/28/2009 c14 Strata-Assassin
Oh, I'd hate to start this review off like this, but I forgot to mention it in the last chapter. If you're typing a big number, write it out in numerals instead of letters. The only ones that work pretty well written out are one through twenty. Don't quote me on that though, it's more personal preference.

Hah! So, Dearka found the restaurant and his friends are going to try it without him. Poor guy.

Y'know, I kinda want to read a scene with just Kira and Cags. There's a lot with the four of them or each with their lover of choice, but never just the two of them. I guess that I never understood that in Destiny. Yes, two years, I know, but they just suddenly seemed attached to each other. Like "Bam" picture = long lost twins = immediate best friends! *shrugs*

Hah! Gotta love the bickering between Andy and Victor as Murrue... just stands there. Aw

Ouch, a little heartless on the Aisha dying thing, don't ya think? Or did I just portray them too lovey dovey?

Oh, how old are Alkire and the others? Did I miss that?

...And the fight continues. Hah! Athrun: 1 Kira: 0

Hah! Attack of the killer Crayfish! All tan fingers beware! But... aww... the cuteness is killing me over here. But they're *twitch* 16-17 and talking about having kids, only gone out for a few weeks... Yes, I know. I'm trying to it go...

Yzak... sentimental? I think I just blushed out of embarrassment for him!

And back to Andy... Yay!

7/28/2009 c13 Strata-Assassin
Wow *blinks* Short?

Really freaky on the videotapes... A little sketchy, if I don't say so myself, but-meh-I'm not an overprotective, psychotic father... Maybe in his world it makes sense. And the fact that his righthand man just goes along with it is quite unnerving as well. O.o

"For once, Kira and Athrun had been able to offer advice to the girls, rather than the other way around, since they knew all about recurring nightmares." Okay, I found that terribly cute... Must be in a weird mood.

Hah! Athrun and Kira fighting about Cags is priceless! They probably never fought that hard against each other in the Bloody Valentine war and here they are having shouting matches on whether or not Athrun should keep his bedroom door open when him and Cags are in there. :P Good thing there's no Gundams around to add to the turmoil. Then again, the girls would probably grab some popcorn and watch. It would be entertaining, after all.

7/28/2009 c12 Strata-Assassin
Demonic guy on a rampage: horrifying.

Athrun getting hurt AGAIN: frustrating

Kira getting his ass kicked: priceless

About time! Woot!

I must say, I found the doctor briefing quite-well-brief. They have a tendency to be very thorough, so I guess I was left wishing for more.

So, Sai's the playboy, huh? Ironic, no? Well, he got Flay's attention, but I just never thought I'd see him so... adventurous. Can't blame the guy-and I'm glad he has a fairly large role-but, wow. I'd definitely pat him on the back for that one.

...And then I'd take that pat back and turn it into a punch... Feeding information to the bad guys. *Sigh* Sai... (Hm, a little redundant?)

But to have a chapter that's mostly about Sai? Never thought I'd see it! Kudos!

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