Just In
for Perfection

6/2/2012 c14 Illusion
Let me just say one thing. Its 4 a.m. and I'm STILL reading this. Birds are singing because it's almost dawn and I've STILL got my eyes glued to the screen. At this rate, I'll be up all night trying to finish this story. Thank you so much for giving me something so addicting that I'm willing to stay awake despite my itching eyes and aching neck just to see what Kakarot will say or do next.
6/2/2012 c10 Illusion
This is as of yet the greatest fan fiction I've ever read. It's so brutal it brought me to tears, and it seems you've created the perfect villain with whom I can sympathize and relate. You made Goku into the person I always saw him as: hiding behind a mask of ignorance and innocence to conceal the intelligence inside. You also defined Vegeta perfectly; willing to seduce and manipulate to get his way. The instant he smiled in that cruel evil way and said that Goku was "so fucking stupid" I felt my heart plummet and I broke out in sweat, repeating "no, please no" to myself over and over. Your story line is flawless, the whole bit on Nappa playing saint and wiping out a terrorist city was brilliant. I can never share this, my guilty pleasure, with anyone, but I'm glad I can tell you how much this changed me, made me rethink my life. I'm not done reading it yet, but so far, it's ripped out my heart, and the best part is, I love it.
8/5/2011 c21 mjmusiclover
ahh awesome stuff, this is really well written :D, i love how dark & morbid it is, it's really beautiful yet twisted, you have sure done an amazing on portraying the charcters whom have witnessed death & destruction
9/23/2009 c2 13ProjectSynapse
The first thing that struck me about your writing is that it was easy-flowing. I liked that you didn’t push vague, unorthodox words on the reader on favor of using ones that were blunt and to-the-point. I loved that you didn’t describe Vegeta’s looks in words like “gorgeous” or “masculine” or “[insert creative word for man-hunk here]”. Instead, you used Vegeta’s effect on Goku as a means of explaining his beauty, using verbs where adjectives failed.

“He was my God for a time. He breathed breath into my lungs and created me into something new and different.”

That - that was brilliant. Not because you likened Vegeta to a god - many authors have tried this and fallen short, leaving the reader with something paltry and facetious. Calling Vegeta a god to fans of the series is like calling the sun hot. It is. It’s not necessary to point out. But here, you used it as more than a metaphor. You really made me stop and understand the power he held over Goku by using the word “created” rather than “made”.

A god doesn’t take something that already exists and make it into something else. A god creates things into being, and that’s the end of it. It’s as if the first Goku was a mistake that some other being had aborted into the world, and the moment Vegeta took hold of him was all that it took for Goku as well as the reader to fully understand that it was the point of his first creation, and there would be no going back.

“A beautiful spring had introduced itself to the former season…”

I liked that. Nothing really to say - I just liked the style used there.

I loved the characterization you showed between Goku and Vegeta during their trip to the hot springs. The fact that Goku is most certainly physically stronger than Vegeta at this point seems to make no difference when Vegeta shoots them both beneath the surface of the water. It’s good foreshadowing for the fact that Goku seems to completely disregard his own safety, opting to follow his prince wherever he chooses to take him.

"Hm," He laughed a little, looking back at the sky. "no problem." "I've never brought any body else here," He admitted to me, breaking the silence but not the serenity. "It was just my special place for so long."

The first time I read through this chapter, I took these comments to be pretty out-of-character for Vegeta. Now, I *know* they are. But intentionally so. Very smart. Unfortunately, it might catch the reader off-guard the first time around, mistaking you for a writer of less caliber.

“…I went so far as to study every fucking technique the guy had. Enslaving people, conquering their strongest to humble their ideas of strength. Crush all hopes until in the minds of an infinitely weaker species, he WAS the only hope."

Foreshadowing for Kakarot’s take-over? I’m not quite sure if that was intended, but it certainly seems that way to me.

“Like what heaven must be like or something.”

Again, I liked this a lot. The style is so simplistic, yet it speaks so deeply about Goku’s feelings while writing about it.

In short, this chapter was a brilliant introduction to both their characters. The description was livid, but no where near overdone. Just perfect, and flowing.
9/23/2009 c1 ProjectSynapse
I have read this story twice through now, and I feel guilty for not having left a review sooner. The first time I was taken aback by the sheer ferocity of it (in a very, very good way), and the second time I picked up on some of the things I had missed the first time through - only adding to my appreciation for your beautiful storytelling.

Now I think I'll be going for round three, and this time I'm finally ready to review the whole thing. I didn't want to review just bits and pieces, which is why I didn't do it the first two times. This story deserves to be combed through meticulously, pulling each gorgeous morsel out at a time for examination.

So first off, let me thank you for writing this masterpiece. And second, allow me to beg for you to finish it!
7/8/2009 c21 Lady-Indis
Oh my goodness, I reread the latest chapter once again... So stoked for your next chapter :) This story... is unbelievably horrifying! I hang onto each word eagerly, you fantastic writer you.

Here's hoping for some semblance of a happy ending! Cheers!
7/4/2009 c21 11Lady-Indis
Great new chapter! I can't wait for your next update =) I get the feeling there won't be too many more chapters. Oh goodness.. I had to reread the entire story. It's been so long since I first read it. Your writing, as usual, is phenomenal and suspenseful. I'm enthralled. :)
1/27/2009 c15 2mushwooms
I got tired of reading...You put to much undeeded detail...
1/26/2009 c21 2getaiyou
When you say twisted, it's twisted. This has got to be the creepiest, TWISTED thing that I have ever read. Well, not really, but it was just plain disturbing throughout especially at the end of this particular chapter. Talk about shivers.
8/12/2008 c21 5PrimeFan
...oh, you sick and twisted person...I can't believe you just left it there!

Seriously, you gotta change the genre...sci-fi? More like macabre-horror...

Can't wait for the next update!
8/6/2008 c21 DoritoCloud
You're not done, right? This story ain't over, right? I need this story to not be over.

This is amazing, and I can't get enough of it.

8/5/2008 c8 DoritoCloud
Dag yo. This is some messed up shit.

7/30/2008 c21 Zofonik
Thanks for continuing as I thought it was the end last chapter!

I was really hoping Vegeta would see through Kakarot, after all the clues were there, but sadly he didn't until it was too late and he'd let his guard down. Pity.

So Kakarot has Vegeta as well now, how will they get out of this? Maybe they won't leaving Kakarot to rule the universe.
7/17/2008 c21 45tco-deanirae
Just gotta love the irony.

Vegeta would rather die than feel this puzzled and humilated (which seems to be way more that he ever was forced to live through).

Too bad you can't always get what you want...

Lovely loving and caring Kakarot. He won't let him die.

He won't let the most important part of his life dissmiss to nonexistance, just like the saiyan misery soup that once was one being with him did.

c'est la vie.
7/17/2008 c21 Lhia
Yay you updated!

You're stories always grip me... seeing an update from you really made my day! :D

I hope to see more from you soon. I'm waiting patiently for an update for Fathoming Love, as well.

Anyways... you know you're awesome so no need for me to go over how amazing of a writer you are!
179 « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service