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3/5/2013 c1 46The Urban Spaceman
Poor Korolev, doomed from the moment it set off into space.

Even if you don't continue this story, I think it would be great if you could revamp it, add in some character thoughts to convey how truly screwed they all are.
5/27/2012 c1 1Lazarus.357
Sparse, some of your sentences really should be broken up. Too much information in one sentence.

Just my observation - battles are more like short, choppy sentences. It is a series of flashes for me, not a contiguous whole flow.

Now, you are describing events at about the point in the Stargate story, when a) I lot interest in the whole storyline, and b)I had other things to consume my time. So - I have no idea what happens, if anything, after this.

But - heck - write an alternate universe story! Or something. Take the story someplace where it didn't go, and stratch your writing skills! This is a place to have fun and experiment, not a place to slavishly trudge where the Powers that be dictate to you.

enough of that stuff in the mundane world.
7/10/2011 c1 68CraftyNotepad

You've drawn me in with your vision. What struck me, aside from your knowledge of SG-1's predicament, is how the first chapter comes across on the page. Detailed, yet sparse - too sparse. Yes, you left me wanting more, which telltale to great storytelling, yet you had me picturing this chapter being written differently as it was being read. It had me reweaving it as a one of Jack's minimalist's mission reports. Yes, he would have covered the highlights, but put the report to bed as soon as he could. Great structure, SHF, and more meat on the bones would make it even more appetizing - your injections of dialogue were appreciated and did expand upon your flagship chapter. This looks as though it could really go places, with or without a stargate.



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6/13/2009 c1 64Bunnylass
I definitely think you should continue this! I haven't come across anything like this in the Stargate fandom yet, but I'm really looking forward to seeing where this one goes. :) You're doing great with this, I hope you don't give up.

3/13/2006 c1 ObsessedRomantic
OK well, it's a tiny bit wish fulfillment but I can more than forgive because I happen to share the wish your fulfilling, the battle continues and you still have our guys realisticly on the ropes and pulling back so all in all I'll call this one a goody. not too bad, and keep up the good work
3/13/2006 c1 chevronguy1066
i like the start so far...

a few suggestions:

if you are ok with spoilers, you could go to a site like to see what some of the producers have to say about where the story is going, just to give you a rough idea of where you might want to take your story.

it seems like a promising start so far, keep it up.

(on a side note, i would like to see the russian dude, colonel checov, i think, i'd like to see him survive)

3/13/2006 c1 3Court19
You must continue! The season finale cliffy drove me crazy! And I must have something to read about it, so yes please continue.

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