Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Fiery Skies

8/9/2010 c1 2Charm Caster-chan
That was totally awesome!
4/7/2006 c1 sophianwin
You have a nice writing style, but beware of Mary Sues. Those are basically characters that are too perfect.(Do some additional research with Google for more infor.)

Sure, Hitomi can be beautiful, but it is more realistic to give her a physical flaw...doesn't Cornelia Funke give her character blemishes?

Also, she has magical powers. Do magical powers exist? Yes. Can she be talented? Yes. People are talented in real life. But I think it would be so much better if her "gift" has a lot of downsides too. For instance, having hot and cold flashes; I'm sure you could come up with sokmething. I also don't like how she is the best fireater in the world? That title, in canon, belongs to Dustfinger. If he weren't the best, then people wouldn't constantly refer to him as the best.

I just don't like meddling with the books too much; keep as true to the original story as possible. This won't limit you- in fact, it may help give you a lot of ideas as to how minor events in the book occured.
3/30/2006 c1 2The Awkward One
I like the title. You should keep it. And update, too! The only problem I have is that I like Dustfinger being the best fire-eater because I feel sorry for him. But artistic license is yours to do as you please. And it is a good plot. Update!
3/17/2006 c1 Apella
awesome chapter,i love it please continue
3/14/2006 c1 5Duckweed
Hm... Pretty good start, though Dustfinger is kinda out of character. I don't know, you might be makeing him a bit stupider on purpose, 'cause he's younger. You should definetly continue it though.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service