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for Carmelita's Hero

6/29/2008 c1 39Moretta
Well, this seems to be the only way to get a message to you. Sorry I didn't read the fic, I don't even know who Sly Cooper is... *blushes*

Since the Alerts don't seem to be working properly, I am sending a message to all the people kind enough to have "Our Happily Ever After" on their alert list.

Chapter 11 is up, go have a look!


3/8/2008 c1 14Data Seeker
Dear Faina

Nice little fanfic. I don't play the Sly Cooper games, though I am interested in the fanfics of it, and I researched the games online to understand facts about the games:what, who and where.

Anyway, Your right, this fanfic is a spoiler. With that said, here comes the flattery.

The story is well-written. Has some emotion to it. I like the potrayal of the characters. Nice job on Carmelita's viewpoint on the whole affair.

The wholesome standards are high.

The language is clean.

Nothing suggestively offensive.

No extreme violence or any other vile content.

I hope this review has a good influence on you. I also hope to hear from you. God bless.

Data Seeker
11/28/2007 c1 12daverezi
quick but good, i'll give ya that, i'm writing my first too this weekend it's not even gunna be this good...i feel bad now... my story is gunna suck badly...but this was good... *crys*
11/9/2007 c1 4Lacie Montez
I like it, nice going. Hopefully Sly doesn't be an idiot and leave her that would make me mad. Anyway, write more stories, this one I liked.
5/29/2006 c1 30Dinas Emrys
Really good for a first fic. You're a god writer. Are you going to write any more? These are really good, please write more.
5/29/2006 c1 9NaoliolaStarFly
i would like to know what happens after this chapter.
4/30/2006 c1 94Raven Ehtar
This was a pretty good first fic. It needs some editing, but the idea itself is pretty good. I liked how you went a little earlier than when Carmelita first enters the vault, but it would have been nice to see how you would have gotten her past all the Cooper challenges.

Nice one, look forward to more!

3/16/2006 c1 17WolfKeeper989
Interesting... nice job!
3/15/2006 c1 1Stinger - VXR42
As it so happens, Your story is a prime example of how NOT to write stories. I believe you read the terms of agreement when you posted the story and saw the bit that said 'There is no excuse for sloppily punctuated and spelled work'.

A comma or exclamation/question mark or semicolon/colon is such a small thing, but it adds so much to the atmosphere. You've been writing this quickly I see that, but you need to stop and think how you can phrase the sentence to make the reader actually feel something, react with the characters and so forth.

You need to sort out the way you're writing. I'm giving you some slack seeing as this is your first fanfic, but if you were an accomplished writer I would flame you at 40 degrees celcius. There is no excuse for writing like this; make sure you learn to correct your mistakes.
3/15/2006 c1 6Heiduska
Hey wow this is your first one? Cool! ^_^

I hope to read new work from you!

See ya!

3/14/2006 c1 45Boondock Jake
Good start! Update soon.

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