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6/22/2007 c1 10Coscat
THATS SAD AND ISNT IT LIKE A PREMONITION OR SOMETHING IF YOU C SOMEONE LIKE THAT JUSS WONDERIN WELL I LIKE YOUR STORY IT WAS GREAT SADD BUT GREAT
5/31/2006 c1 7tenten14
too sad for sasuke...
5/28/2006 c1 1Kitsune no Yuuki
This story fails to recognize the proper grammar of the english lanuage. For example, there are rarely any captitals except in the character's names and even then, its not used consistantly. Also instead of using the proper term, "you're" this author uses "your" as shown by the phrase '"Sasuke your back" Kakashi now turned around to face him" This fanfiction also spells many words that are common in this fandom wrong such as 'dobe' which this author spelled 'doub' There are many places where the english language is totally ignore. For example ""am afraid that she died at actual midnight along with Ino and Neji" Sasuke buried him head in his hands and cryd softy" Am? Actual Midnight? Cryed? Softy? In that one sentence alone there are 4 mistakes. This fanfiction shames me and wants to make me cry and run away. Also "doub...i .. need ...to ..live"Naruto re slied sasuke considering he almost choked him" One as I mentioned before dobe is spelled as doub "I" is not capitalized, Sasuke's name is not capitalized. Plus, "I need to live" is not directly connected to choking, I do believe the correct phrase would be "I need to breathe" Also what they heck is 're slied'? I would suggest heavy reediting. This is harsh contructive critisism, at least it wasn't as bad as the other flame before! If you really are in need, please contact me and I will be happy to beta for you.
4/17/2006 c1 12 OVERLY obsessed
this is so sad and nice! keep up the good work!
4/8/2006 c1 9xx.faith
uhm...this is the end? kinda hard to read coz of spelling mistakes but that could be fixed
4/5/2006 c1 44Ohohen
*Frowns* See? That's what you get for leaving, Sasuke.

Nice story, took me an entire hour to read because of your grammar. Good luck on not having your story removed because of it.

But really, nice story. I like the plot! =D Evil Sasuke...Grr...Even Neji died! =(

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