for Beyond the sunset1/17/2007 c1 
32Melya Liz
it's pretty Interesting I like the plot idea,
The chapter was a little short… not that it really matters… but if you like I could be your proof reader (I have a few for myself who do my stuff) it’s a nice to have someone else read your stuff to in case you missed something
-Liz
32Melya Lizit's pretty Interesting I like the plot idea,
The chapter was a little short… not that it really matters… but if you like I could be your proof reader (I have a few for myself who do my stuff) it’s a nice to have someone else read your stuff to in case you missed something
-Liz
8/31/2006 c1 Kimani
You should use more pronouns and you repeat many statements and words until the become redundant. There are some interesting ideas for a story in there but u need to develop it and your writing style
-that guy from the library
You should use more pronouns and you repeat many statements and words until the become redundant. There are some interesting ideas for a story in there but u need to develop it and your writing style
-that guy from the library
8/19/2006 c1 Talisman of Dominance
Hi. well, I think that in order to say a bit more, you need to write more. Try a longer chapter, some direct speech. Otherwise, I like the title. And that sort of a fairytale touch to it. Keep up and I'll try to comment as often as I can.
Hi. well, I think that in order to say a bit more, you need to write more. Try a longer chapter, some direct speech. Otherwise, I like the title. And that sort of a fairytale touch to it. Keep up and I'll try to comment as often as I can.
5/9/2006 c1 2The Gidgeman
Hard to see where it's going so far though it shows promice. Definately one that I'll be keeping an eye on.
2The GidgemanHard to see where it's going so far though it shows promice. Definately one that I'll be keeping an eye on.
4/23/2006 c1 Reporter 101
the story sounds like a romance to me.Merope and Eric sound cool.
the story sounds like a romance to me.Merope and Eric sound cool.