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for Beyond the sunset

1/17/2007 c1 32Melya Liz
it's pretty Interesting I like the plot idea,

The chapter was a little short… not that it really matters… but if you like I could be your proof reader (I have a few for myself who do my stuff) it’s a nice to have someone else read your stuff to in case you missed something

8/31/2006 c1 Kimani
You should use more pronouns and you repeat many statements and words until the become redundant. There are some interesting ideas for a story in there but u need to develop it and your writing style

-that guy from the library
8/19/2006 c1 Talisman of Dominance
Hi. well, I think that in order to say a bit more, you need to write more. Try a longer chapter, some direct speech. Otherwise, I like the title. And that sort of a fairytale touch to it. Keep up and I'll try to comment as often as I can.
5/9/2006 c1 2The Gidgeman
Hard to see where it's going so far though it shows promice. Definately one that I'll be keeping an eye on.
4/23/2006 c1 Reporter 101
the story sounds like a romance to me.Merope and Eric sound cool.

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