Just In
for Closing In

9/14/2006 c10 5Knight Of Paradox
Definitely for fans. There's a bit of an overload of the same sensation by the end, and no real buildup to their grandiosity that they're supposed to have.

It's not a story though, so it's obvious that making something like so is hard, unless you plan 50 snippets to act like parts of stories, that eventually intertwine together to make either a chaotically built story or a stringed story with only small flashes, to hint us on where the story is at, until finally we reach a climatix moment or snippet, followed by it's eventual slowdown into a cute epilogue or ending.

In this case, the snippets are pretty random, and thus a pattern begins to form by certain points, it becomes obvious what the next will be, as it's nothing really different from the rest. It is cute, points on that, but it's repetitive and redundant by a certain point. For the neutrals, 25 is where you should stop. For the fans of Alphia, you should go the whole way through.

I would imagine though, anyone with a bit of a writters block or need of a plot bunny, could probably take a look at those snippets, ask if they could use two or more, and build from it.

Good job nonetheless, it's the first time I see something like this. But then again, I haven't been on Fanfiction that long in comparison to many other (and haven't read much).
5/21/2006 c10 12Dragon Chyld
Almost seemed like it ended too soon but it was fun! These last five sentences were nice to finish with since the themes are 'universal' and carry things to a grander scale.

Good luck with Olette and Seifer :)
5/20/2006 c10 7Shizuka Usagi
I knew the title was familiar! Imogen Heap is awesome. Anyway, I love forward to your Olette & Seifer Seifette? Good job on Closing In. It was well written, brief, but to the point.
5/16/2006 c10 8LilyGinnyBlack
You really have a talent for these one sentence challenges, so, I'll definately check out your next challenge. Anyway, these last five, were beautiful. They reall were. All five were sweet, as well, I mean, these five started with:

#46 – Sun

Sunbeams shine through the windows, illuminating the hair that cascades down her bare shoulders like a waterfall, and she has never looked more beautiful.

And then ended with:

#50 - Supernova

Her mind tells her to retreat, but her heart and lips have been pulled to him with no chance of escape.

Number 50 shows just how magnetic the Albel/Sophia relationship is, and how their attraction to one another is, and, finally, amazing job on these last five sentences! :D Please, keep up the good work with any other bit of fanfiction writing that you do. :)

5/15/2006 c9 5Knight Of Paradox
Go! Go! Final five! Anyho, it's not bad, it's kind of interesting but I can't help as if I'm being cheated due to a slightly repetitive mood. It is cute though so you win points on that.

As I said before, definitely more for big fans of the Alphia pairing. Does that mean I shouldn't review this? Bah.
5/14/2006 c9 12Dragon Chyld
#41 - So sweet. Sometimes the simplest of things can heal.

#42 - Haha! He would rather watch her than the clouds ;)

#43 - So sad, but sweet.

#44 - Aw! :)

#45 - *cries* But makes a great contrast to #44
5/14/2006 c9 8LilyGinnyBlack
Another well done five sentences! ^.^ I enjoyed how these five mostly centered around Albel and show just how fragile he can be, with the last one even more so, which shows how easily Albel can snap. I love these and great job! :D So, please, keep up the good work! :)

5/13/2006 c8 5Knight Of Paradox
I dno why, but I feel this could've ended well by the 25th. It's nothing wrong, but there's a pattern forming.

This is certainly made for fans of the coupling. Anyone who's more on the neutral side should probably stop at around 25. Going onward and reading more doesn't hurt, but it doesn't get that much more interesting. In any case, let's see how the final 10 holds up.
5/12/2006 c8 12Dragon Chyld
#36 - Wonderful. Yes, that would happen - if she didn't drive him crazy first he might actually learn something (lol)

#37 - Aww! ^^

#38 - Have to wonder if Fayt didn't do that on purpose...

#39 - Truth.

#40 - :)
5/12/2006 c7 Dragon Chyld
#31 - Cute!

#32 - Oh, yeah.

#33 - That one's deep. There's a lot in that one sentence

#34 - So sad, but I can see it.

#35 - Definitely one of my favorites.
5/12/2006 c8 8LilyGinnyBlack
Another amazing five sentences. I enjoyed how there seemed to be a(n)(un)intentional theme with these five. They showed how different the two really are which, of course, makes for an interesting couple...and interesting fanfics. :P Keep up the good work! :D

5/11/2006 c7 LilyGinnyBlack
Another lovely five sentences. :) This set easily shows just how complex the Albel and Sophia relationship can be at times, but also, how simple the couple can be as well. Great job! :D

5/10/2006 c6 12Dragon Chyld
#26 - Sad but with a hint of true emotions.

#27 - Oh! I really must remember this one. Gives me ideas for a fic I'm working on. That is, if you don't mind if I use the concept.

#28 - :) (I like this one)

#29 - I like this one better then #28

#30 - LOL. I don't like this one - I love it! ^^
5/10/2006 c5 Dragon Chyld
#21 - Exactly! I even mentioned something along these lines in a fic of mine. :)

#22 - Albel's in denial. Yup!

#23 - So sweet!

#24 - Haha, that's cute.

#25 - That one just made me smile.
5/9/2006 c6 1keeki
Her voice is like a sweet song he used to know and wasn’t aware he had forgotten.

O.o these are so cute! I really like them, I wish there was going to be more than 50, or maybe you should write more Alphias.
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