Just In
for To be Forgotten

7/15/2019 c3 13datia
Hey, why hate on Kiara?!
7/19/2012 c8 6Cupcake-Captain
hurry hurry hurry please...

"just call me super ninja cupcake"
"thats not happening·"
"you can go though the smokey foggy deathly place or you can go though the less dangerous rocky way with me."
"im coming T_T"
2/26/2012 c8 1tanakaL
Please update soon. Your story is awesome
10/24/2007 c8 50SlashLover93
please dont take long on the next chapter! cant wait to read what happens!
10/18/2007 c1 SlashLover93
this is one of my fav stories...so far! cant wait to read the next chapters!
6/24/2007 c8 5Karin Skywalker
Nice story you've got going here! I like it! Can't wait for the next chapter!
6/23/2007 c1 3WenWen
I think you're pretty harsh on Kiara in this story.
5/27/2007 c8 18GreatMarta.of.the.past
hope the link works. If not, go to http:/greatmarta. and search in the gallery.

Anyway, I don't mind short chapters and I don't mind it takes long. I know people have their lives outside the FFnet.

As for this part: I guess Kiara needed to hear that. Now she learns the life is not a fairy tale. Pity for her, but let's say it: she may be a positive character, but she's still naive.

I'm glad Kovu is acting like a caring father. We can see he does love his cubs and has a sense of responsibility, also regarding their mother.

As for the style: The story is clear and easy to understand, with narration on a satisfying level. I like it.

As for Sogar: I'm looking foreward to it ^_^.

Work in your own tempo and have fun writting. That's the base. Good luck.
12/24/2006 c7 GreatMarta.of.the.past
OMG, what an interesting twist! Now Ryann and Kiara are really gpoing to fight and Kovu is really in big trouble!

BTW as much as I liked the content of this chapter, I have to say it seems to be written in a hurry. Some grammar minor mistakes plus Ryann saying: ,,Kovu, could you please get Kohanna, KOVU and Michuru for me?" Should be cobalt instead of Kovu.

I'm eagerly awaiting to be reading more form you,. and Merry X-mas!

BTW did you like the picture of the three cubs I send you? I might've messed up the coloring a little, but I guess it wasn't that bad.
8/23/2006 c6 10NamelessRomantic
please update i love your story!
7/25/2006 c6 18GreatMarta.of.the.past
Sorry it took me so long to notice you updated.

Anyway, I see progress. I don't mind short chapters, since I don't get scared off by their length. The last two chapters are a lot better than the firs tones, narration and characters improved, the action is getting on well. Still, I think I don't clearly understand what happened to Nuka after the accident. Now I really like the three cubs. My fav is Cobalt I think.

It's spelled Sarafina. It mean bright star.

As for characters to use, I'd be honored to offer you my char.

Name: Sogar

Gender: Male

Fur: bright brown

Tuft: Black, shaked, rough

Eyes: light green

Special features: a strike of yellow fur inside his ears

Role: Son of Nuka

Personality: Serious, Self confident, Not trusting easy, Always going his own path, determined

Age: A bit older than Kovu's cubs

Dream: To one day overthrow Simba/Kovu and become a lion king himself

If you like his, he's free to use in a ny way you want. For example bullying Kovu's cubs or somehting.
6/12/2006 c4 GreatMarta.of.the.past
This is going to be hard for you.

I have to admit, the idea itself is one of the most original I've encountered. I would never think Kovu could have a mate and cubs in baragain before. This is a material for a good story, however, there are some points I have to point you out.

Perhaps I get such impression, because your chapters are short. But it just feels, like you are forcing yourself to write, and don't get pleasure from it. Saying, that you won't write more unless you get 12 reviews is the same as saying: I only care for the number of reviews I get. I understand your point. Writting sure is work and writers deserve a reward for it, but not everybody has to interested in what you write. Even if you have two people, who like your story and are waiting for more, it is worth to ocntinue for them. Besides, a true writer will go on, even if nobody supports him/her.

Next, your characters. I like Ryann. She seems to be very interesting. Kovu adn Kiara's reactions to Ryann are okay, but the character interations are just too blunt in my opinion. Imagine: how would you feel, if you very in Ryann's situation? Your descriptions need more ,,emotional impact", so the readers would be affected by it. So they could feel Ryann's pain, Kiara's discontent, and all the other emotions. Short descriptions are good for action scenes, but everything connected with love, tragedy, drama, it demands longer descriptions.

Now, the cubs. For now, they are just a background for their mother. They should ,,add something from themselves", like Michuru waving her paw for goodbye. I liked that. Even if they are too scared to talk by the situation, you should describe their feelings towards their parents. It would be much more realistic. Cause as far as it is now, the cubs don't even seem nessesary for the story, they're just an addition to Ryann.

BTW, Kohanna sounds very much like ,,kochana" (pronounce kohanah), which is Polish word for ,,loved". Just in case you were interested.

Overall, you are not bad, but need more experience. I will be holding my thumbs for you, cause it's clear you're worht to be trusted. Keep on going.
6/9/2006 c4 12Belita Girl
Interesting. Please continue, update soon.
5/25/2006 c3 Kovu 101
Hey there! I'm liking your story alot so far, please keep it up! Can't wait for the next chapter to be up! By the way, If you get the chance, I have my first ever written story up, The Lion King 3: Kovu and Kiara's Pridelands! So, if you would like to R&R my story, it would be appreciated! Anyway, since you did such a Great Job with this story so far, I'm giving you an 10/10 for the story! Right now, I'm going to put you and your story in my Favorites! Keep it up! As allways, GREAT STORY AND UPDATE SOON!
5/17/2006 c1 horsegal123
You Should add a few more chapters to this. I can't wait to read the rest. It's in my favourites, waiting.
22 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service