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1/2/2007 c10 2xXx Tinkies xXx
Great story so far! Keep up the AWESOMENESS & PLEASE CONTINUE A.S.A.P.! ^_^
10/14/2006 c10 8LilyGinnyBlack
Yay! I loved this chapter! It was just like Sophia to be sneaky and try to easedrop on their conversation, then hear the information wrong, get upset, and then take off on her own. After all, I've always seen Sophia as being extremely stubborn.

Also, Albel's character would be considered OOC in comparison to the video game, but in the fanfic you showed his transformation and what Albel was slowly (and I mean very slowly) starting to become by the end of the video game. Remember, by the end of the SO3 game, Albel started to show signs of change in his character, so the way you have him now in your fanfiction, could have very easily been what Albel could have become if the game had been longer. Also, I agree with you and the stereotypical Albel character found in fanfiction, and it annoys me as well, thus, I cheer for Alphia fanfics everywhere! xD Oh, and you became a poet with your little preview for the next chapter! :P Keep up the great work and take care! :)

10/13/2006 c10 14Ryden and Xephfyre
Hey, this was great! Ah, Sophia just jumped the gun. She shouldn't have done that; surely she'd have realised she's hearing only half the conversation?

But I digress. I can see you're doing an excellent Albel-redemption storyline, and I can't wait for the big fight in the next chapter!

Chief out.
10/8/2006 c10 36kc-archive
Of course I enjoyed this chapter! I enjoy every(Alphia)thing that you crank out! XD

I agree that Albel was OOC, but it's in a cute sort of way. It's refreshing to see a change, eh?

I really can't wait for the next chapter! Oh, and you've prompted me to begin writing on my Alphia fics again. :3
9/22/2006 c9 14Ryden and Xephfyre
Hey, sorry I didn't review the earlier chapters, but anyway...

I get the feeling Alana is Albel's sister, or at least a family relative of some sort... I mean, they both have the same eye color, even if not the same hair color.

Great fight, by the way. It's become really evident how Albel has changed from a warrior who kills to a soldier who protects. I feel a bit dumb likening this to Star Wars, but according to my interpretations, Albel the Wicked was like a Sith, using his power to slaughter his enemies. However, the changed Albel Nox is more like a Jedi, using his power to protect instead of using it to kill. Alana can be most definitely likened to a Sith; she finds compassion and concern of any sort to be a weakness and revels in killing and fighting. The way she insulted Albel's new fighting style is very similar to the way a Sith mocks the restrained way of the Jedi. They believe that true strength lies in darkness, and that the light is merely for weaklings. However, the truth is that both sides are equally strong; just that the dark side is the quicker and easier path, the one that both Albel and Alana went down, though Albel brought himself back to the light. I found the fighting style you used for Albel in this chapter to be quite passive and defense-oriented; very similar to the lightsaber combat form Soresu. Just to tell you, I planned to rip off lightsaber combat forms for our SO3 characters, but the Master was indignant, saying the form names sounded 'too damned japanese.'

Oh. And great portrayal of Fayt's powers running amok. I plan for a similar incident to occur in my fic, but the impact of his trigger power on his physical appearance will be far more drastic...

Once again, sorry for not reviewing your earlier chapters as loyally as you have been reviewing ours!
9/16/2006 c9 8LilyGinnyBlack
I really love the plot of this story and the characterization of everyone. Also, normally, if I saw someone add in an OC nine chapters into the story, I probably would have stopped reading...but your such an amazing author that I know I don't have to worry about Alana being a Mary Sue. ^^ Anyway, the next chapter sounds very interesting and this chapter was nice and general in terms of genre, so that was nice as well. Take care and keep up the good work! :D

9/14/2006 c9 36kc-archive
Hey, you updated!

Great chapter! And even though you based Alana after you, I'm sorry to say that I kind of dislike her. ;-; Sorry!

Anyway, I hope you update again soon. :)
9/14/2006 c9 12Dragon Chyld
A dramatic cliff-hanger huh? And, nope, it's not conceited to base a character on your self. In doing so you can not only be a part of the story but that character is already defined by the parameters you set on them to be a certain aspect of who you are. One thing I've learned is that if you use your own experiences to write with then the characters have more life and the reader is drawn in more.

I love Mayu and Sophia being friends. Can't wait to see how this unfolds! :)
9/14/2006 c1 5Knight Of Paradox
I was wondering why she changed her attire so quickly... A dream, huh? Well.

Anyhow, I decided to try reading one for kicks, even though I gotta rush to work soon enough.

Let me say, Albel felt at times somewhat a bit off, at at times perfectly on key. More specifically towards the end. Though his speech isn't something I could imagine him say all that well, it was in the right context.

The beginning(Chapter1) is interesting, and I would've held it against you if you made the coupling go off right off the beginning. That would've made it feel rushed to me...

Ack! I really shouldn't be reading/reviewing, I should be dedicating every little free minutes I have to writting my own story! ...Bah, I feel lazy, unmotivated, and I have work... *sigh*

I'll read the rest when I can.
9/7/2006 c8 12Dragon Chyld

That was a nice break from the drama and action (which were fun too). I loved the way Sophia was for waiting on any deep commitment - she might be the one to want a family one day but she is smart enough to know rushing into something that important isn't a good idea. And, of course, being the Alphia fan I am I loved how this chapter ended.
9/7/2006 c7 Dragon Chyld
This chapter was full of so many realizations. Fayt realizes the true power of jealousy, and how it can be more destructive than any gene. Albel realizes his self worth - with Sophia caring so much about him and the doctor still taking on a mother role. And (it might just be me) Sophia realizes that one person can make a difference if they believe and have faith. All of that made this a powerful chapter touching on the edge of humanity's dark and light sides.
8/29/2006 c8 8LilyGinnyBlack
This is one of my favorite chapters in this fic! It was just so cute and sweet. Also, it seemed so simple and fluffy, which is always enjoyable to read once in a while...even more so when the story happens to be rather angest ridden. :P Nevertheless, you managed to add some rather symbolic elements into the chapter, such as the straw, which reflected Sophia's personality in comparison to Albel's. I truly found it fasincating how you showed just how much Albel Albel has changed and is continuing to change. I absoultly love it all, though, my favorite quote would have to be this one:

"She blinked at him before nodding and continuing her mission to finish the last treat her devilishly handsome partner had given her."

Just because of the fact that "devilishly handsome" has to be the most accurate way, in which, Albel has ever been described. After all, to most of the people of Elicoor II Albel is the closest thing to devil. Oh, that reminds me, I also liked the touch of Albel enjoying Sophia eating because it made him happy to see her happy, that seems very Albel-like. On another note, I also found it appropriate when you made Albel approve of the fact that Sophia had a comfortable up-bringing and life. It's what Albel fought in the war for, the Kingdom of Aryglyph and a comfortable life for its people, so, to be able to see the results of such a way of life must have been pleasing. I really look forward to the updates on this story, so keep up the great work and take care! :)

8/28/2006 c6 7DunkinDonutsHobo
DAMMIT, I love this story. It's great, you don't find that many good Alphia stories out there. So I give you kudos for this. Many Kudos, i'll be waiting for the next chapter, dont leave me hanging.

8/21/2006 c8 36kc-archive
Yes! You finally updated!

Well, I have to say, I particularly liked this chapter. :) And the interaction between Woltar and Albel was great! Also, I loved how you added in the "rumor mill" kind of thing. I mean, one would only have to expect this. XD Even in ancient times, people are people, and there WILL be gossip!

One line that really made me smile:

"But Albel was grinning, one of those grins that was either in nervousness or simply irritation- but not joy." -I could imagine that clearly in my head. XD Sort of like a manga-type-thing, I guess. I love me some manga!

Anyway, take your time with this! I understand about life getting in teh way and such, oh, and congrtats on your dad coming home! I'm sure you're really happy to see him!

But like I said, just pace yourself! Usually when authors don't worry about the response of the reviewers for their late updates, the stories come out excellent! As long as you don't give up on this or put it on hiatus (God forbid!), I'll be happy with whatever you contribute to the Alphia 'ship! :)
7/25/2006 c7 4ThrogmortenMimic
Um, when i first started reading this story i though: Its ok, above the average here, plots interesting, i'll have to follow it through. Then... Everyone suddenly became really open and OOC and the story just, somehow, became absolutely astounding! Not to mention the dramatic change in writing skill! You've made a bigger jump in skill than i have, and in a shorter time! Produce anything like this again, and i will be there throughout.
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