Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for So, you hate me?

7/23/2006 c7 11BrokenCheshireCat
I've noticed just now that I havenned reviewed in this entire story. And I've been following it ever since the beginning. Sorry about that- I guess I'm lazy. Well, I'll be waiting for the next chapter, kay?
7/14/2006 c7 36kc-archive
Yay for Albel/Sophia/Fayt love triangles! I loved Fayt in this. And you're right-he IS controlling and striving to be the dominant one! :D

Anywho, I found a word swap: "feinting" should be "fainting". You see, a feint is actually a fake attack designed to draw defensive action away from an intended target.

Feinting, feinted, and feints mean to MAKE a feint (all conjugated resepctively to the sentences they're in), or to deceive with a feint or make a deceptive show of.

Hehe...sorry about that. Picking out stuff like this is kinda automatic for me, you know?
7/13/2006 c7 8LilyGinnyBlack
Ack! There is just too much to comment on in one chapter! @.@ I mean, each chapter brings out so many things to take in and ponder about. Once again, I loved this chapter (I think I love all of your chapters). The Albel/Fayt interaction was handled dramatically, but also with a heavy dose of one-in-the-same. Though, I went over that in my previous review (though I will say this much, Albel may be so cold because he cares so much, rather than, not caring at all).

Let's see. One part in this chapter that had really grabbed my attention had been this one:

"He landed on his front, as the blood wept from beneath him, he listened to the war around him, but was aware of it being a backdrop… representing the only thing in his life he contributed to (conflict) and the surroundings from which most of his life’s crimes were committed. The screaming was constant and rang in his ears over and over. The screams of victims’ last voices of terror before massacre… all his own, to be replayed like a broken record."

I saw this paragraph as the start of Albel's realization on his life and gaining a second chance. The fact that he knew he was doomed and that he would accept his punishment showed that he knew right from wrong...that he still has a conscious, thus, he can be saved if he truly wishes. He could atone for what he did in the past if he tries and not be doomed. And the fact that you used:

"The voice was an angel."

To describe how Albel heard and interpreted Sophia's voice says a lot about Albel's character. About how he longs for slavation, he just never knew how to grasp it. But, when Sophia slapped his mind into gear with the simple statement that the only way to grasp this salvation was to let yourself reach out for it...Albel gains that second chance. He grows.

Yet, Sophia also raises a good point with that question and can make me wonder about life after death, and whether the difference between Heaven and Hell is the decision of where one believes they belong. Quite interesting.

Another thing that was interesting was the way you used Sophia's connection gene, the way you made it a vital part to the plot was amazing and done in such an intricate way. I think I had about a million more things to say and wonder over, but, there were so many I can't possibly remember them all, so, I shall stop here. But, please keep up the great work and take care! :) Ja ne! :D

~Lily~
7/12/2006 c6 LilyGinnyBlack
I LOVE this story! You do a brilliant job of showing all the different sides of people. And the way you made Fayt: childish, jealous, and spoiled (in a sense). After all, Fayt has always seen Sophia as his friend, yet, he has been known to take things for granted, such as playing video games instead of spending time with his family or trying SO HARD to get Sophia back and then ignoring her for most of the game. Even at the end of the game Fayt really hasn't broken away from this.

I also found it interesting that you pointed out how similar Albel and Fayt really are. They are both amazingly stubborn and too emotional for their own good (though they show their emotions differently due to the paths in their lives). If Fayt ever made just one wrong or shaky move than he could have easily turned out like Albel.

Finally, I like the older doctor lady, she's cool and funny and a nice added touch to the story. Along with the way you used Sophia's connection gene, I never saw anyone else really use it that way before. Anyway, keep up the good work and take care! :) Ja ne! :D

~Lily~
7/10/2006 c6 1Ambient Blue
ARGH what a painful cliffhanger! Everyone's general characterization is good here, and thank god for Sophia's backbone! I'm actually not a Sophia fan, but the way you write her makes me feel a lot better about the girl!

Losing all your battle trophies...og, that makes me cringe just thinking about it. I actually support Albel chained to the wall, because that means I can get ahold of him with a jar of strawberry jam...ahem...although I wonder if he was tortured during his stay in the dungeon? Vox does seem like that type of asshat. D8
7/9/2006 c6 12Dragon Chyld
I would like to publicly announce that the doctor is now my official hero!

There are always two paths Fayt can take in an Alphia (well, there's more but usually one of two are used). One is the rival, the other is the 'brother'. I usually opt for the 'brother' in my stuff (exception being the one-shot where he's dead), but I like reading the rival too. And as sweet as he is, we all have our dark sides. He's just so mean in this one, and playing dirty. I can see Albel reacting to his words like that since he was already blaming himself.

The part where Albel screamed 'I hate you' was so like him, and when she stood up to him I was thrilled. It's that backbone she has that some just don't see. (And Sophia lovers rejoice).

I loved this chapter. Angsty-sweet. But, of course, Fayt can't just leave it at that. I'll be anticipating the next installment. :)
7/8/2006 c6 16catesy
I was going to chastise you for making Albel so uncaring in this chapter but that was when I had only read halfway through. The ending was sweet and a nasty cliff hanger there at the end with Fayt. Looking forward to the next chapter.
7/8/2006 c6 1Randomboulder
Kwah, stop it Fayt! O_O Make him stop! Someone throw Maria in his face or something. _ (Always the solution, ne?)

This was a good chapter! Long chapters are the best. By the way, you write really fast, I'm impressed. XD
7/7/2006 c6 14Ryden and Xephfyre
Oh boy... Fayt's turning dark and going berserk...

But don't use the Anti-Trigger idea I have planned for Fayt's DeT! Great story, I don't dislike Alphias either...

Got any tips for writing romance?
7/7/2006 c6 36kc-archive
So Albel really did lose his arm?

Jeeze...so confused! . Oh well. I'll just stick with what I think. Haha

Anywho, wonderful chapter! So..full...of ANGST! But still very sweet.

Once again... ::Sigh:: no matter how hard I try, I just CAN'T hate Fayt. The Fayphia in me...it won't permit it! DAMN YOU FAYPHIA! XO
7/5/2006 c5 8LilyGinnyBlack
Wow, I admire you! You get across so many different sides of Albel in just one chapter, so many events that tie together so brillantly, and great interaction among the characters (a notable interaction in this chapter would just HAVE to be Albel and the "old bat")! I loved the way those two interacted, a nice bout of comic relief, in this extremely angsty and morbidly detailed chapter. Those morbid details were needed though.

Anyway, when I read your chapters about a million or so thoughts end up flowing through my head. The first thought I was hit with was how you seemed to make Albel Nox and Albel the Wicked two different parts of Albel. Almost like a spilt personality. I rather like that thought and idea, rather unique, and yet, present in any fanfic that concerns Albel. Though, not one has made it this clear on the fact of Albel Nox and Albel the Wicked being two diverse parts of Albel, but are needed in order to make Albel whole.

The next thought that rambled off through my head was a connection. I couldn't help but connect Albel to Kenshin, in the case of Kenshin right after Tomoe died. That was when he was still conflicting over being Kenshin Himura and Battosai the Manslayer. Both Kenshin and Albel seem to have parallel fights, in this sense, and I hope that Albel will be able to bring out his more humane and compassionate side like Kenshin did. Just, hopefully, Albel won't tried to atone for his sins...things like that just never seem to end happily, not even bittersweet, they always end tragically. So, no, I wouldn't want a tragic ending for Albel.

Finally, I think I had quite a few more thoughts that momentarily fluttered past my brain, but I can't recall them at the moment. So, I just want to tell you to keep up the great work and to take care! :D

~Lily~
7/3/2006 c5 1Ambient Blue
Thank you a million times over for acknowledging that Albel DOES NOT have a left arm anymore. *tears of joy* I'm not sure why so many people think otherwise. His mannerism during gameplay make it fairly obvious that he doesn't have an arm (you can tell by the way he holds it, yadda yadda). And the second entry for him in the dictionary clearly states he LOST the arm. So thank you so much for not copping out and giving him a slightly-charred-but-still completely-mobile-arm.

Now I'm really, really excited to see these two get together!
7/2/2006 c5 16catesy
I really liked your description of how Albel lost his arm, not many authors go into detail on that part. I also really like the doctor and look forward to more of the interaction between her and Albel. And I would imagine Woltar would have had quite a few things to say if he had been summoned.

Albel's little speech at the end of the chapter was also well done and kept in character. Good job on the chapter and I look forward to more.
7/2/2006 c5 14Ryden and Xephfyre
Interesting... Your writing's quite good, you're definitely much better at writing romance than I am! And the 'ogre' comment about Cliff was a bit funny as well! I also got an image of Vergil when you were describing Albel the Wicked(Not Albel Nox).

Oh yeah, and sorry for not updating SO: Combat Evolved for quite some time, but school is hell on the Master and I! We'll get the next chapter up in a few day's time, I promise!
7/2/2006 c5 36kc-archive
“Ow! What was that for! What kind of doctor are you?” -Hehe...so Fayt-like! The inner Fayphia in me is squealing girlishly. :3

I really like this doctor lady (pairs her with the doctor from Of Maggots and Men). Yay! Now they're not so lonely anymore.

Doctors are funny ones.

But I don't think Albel had his arm cut off. If you've seen some pictures of his alternate costume, it shows his whole left arm as well as the scar. I think he just uses the claw as an extra skin or something. ;)

Jeeze, they REALLY need to make a sequel for this. So much stuff was left wide open.. Blah..

Haha...anywho, your story, your rules! ^_^ Update soon!
52 « Prev Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service