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for Unlikely Hero

5/27/2008 c1 Kristina Malfoy
I've only just started reading. I like your writing style so far, but I have a small correction for an expression that is not quite correct: "she wore not a stitch of makeup." You can use stitch to refer to clothing or other materials that require sowing. For makeup, however, you might say "she wore not an ounce of makeup" or "not a hint, smudge, etc."
5/14/2008 c7 kal5002
Loved the story! Had a great plot and I love that all of Hermione and Draco's friends had to work together to help them. Thanks for the great story.
5/7/2008 c1 Stephanie
I really enjoyed these chapters. It makes me wish that all of this was actually in the book.
9/14/2006 c4 MadeleineElizabeth
omg i love this storry please update soon!
8/25/2006 c4 9Agony of a Loveless Eternity
Don't tease us so.. Please update soon.. *tear tear*
8/25/2006 c4 3JakiMisery
ooh, interesting. you have a very interesting story here. you should update, asap! lol.
8/16/2006 c2 4IcyCrystal
Well I've read your first two chapters and here is what I think so far...

There is too much dialogue, there needs to be more speaking and action

Personally I don't like really long chapters as I find it difficult to focus on that many words on a screen.

I like the idea's you have and you could actually (just read chapter 3 now) just stop it there. Or you could put in a filler chapter for the next one saying things like over the next 5 years Hermione managed to get her confidence back and gradually became more trusting of Draco. Draco was filled with happiness everyday. 2 years after they had kissed they got engaged and married and 4 years after they were blessed by the birth of their son/daughter.

Then you could continue the story as they try and build a family. Maybe cause some angst as Draco gets annoyed with Hermione continually living in the past. They read the story of Peter Pan to their child (which I personally found a very unpleasant book but there you go!)

All these ideas just came off the top of my head and if they are any use to you then you're welcome to them

Hope it helps

IcyCrystal x

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