for Back to Square One6/5/2008 c1 
1Whisper of the Winds
Very nicely written!
However, I must admit, seeing the lyrics to "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" made me cringe. It wasn't because I dislike the way you used the lyrics in the fic, but more-so because of a rather unpleasant experience I had lately involving the song. So, that kind of left me skimming the fic...
1Whisper of the WindsVery nicely written!
However, I must admit, seeing the lyrics to "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" made me cringe. It wasn't because I dislike the way you used the lyrics in the fic, but more-so because of a rather unpleasant experience I had lately involving the song. So, that kind of left me skimming the fic...
7/28/2007 c1 4DemonicAngelChild
You did an excellent job with this story! You mixed in the singing bits perfectly as well. All in all great job!
4DemonicAngelChildYou did an excellent job with this story! You mixed in the singing bits perfectly as well. All in all great job!
8/1/2006 c1 KyrieofAccender
Hello. You are a very good writer! Although Erik was a tad too evil for my taste...
Just a quick note: 'Wishing' would sound a bit more natural if you reversed these two lines: "Wishing I could hear your voice again…
Wishing you were somehow near…". The latter goes first, both word-wise and in the rhythmic pattern of the song. I like how you cut to the end, though! That was neat!
One other thing: this story is screaming to be more than a oneshot! The ending was great, but it leaves so much left unsaid!
~Kyrie
Hello. You are a very good writer! Although Erik was a tad too evil for my taste...
Just a quick note: 'Wishing' would sound a bit more natural if you reversed these two lines: "Wishing I could hear your voice again…
Wishing you were somehow near…". The latter goes first, both word-wise and in the rhythmic pattern of the song. I like how you cut to the end, though! That was neat!
One other thing: this story is screaming to be more than a oneshot! The ending was great, but it leaves so much left unsaid!
~Kyrie
7/26/2006 c1 15Luigi Number 1 and Sonic 2
Hey, I'm finally here to review this for you. I'll try to be constructive since I know how helpful some criticism can be, but first off... *hugs* ;)
I liked it! Good job on the emotion. You really portray her feelings well - just be careful not to get too flowery. Personal opinion here, but sometimes when there's too much "purple prose" it bogs the story down and distracts from the plot. Also, I just have to point out that sometimes the word "said" is the best choice for dialog tags because you skim right over it when reading. If you use too many different tags, again, it distracts from the actual dialog. But those are just nitpicks, and I think it was pretty good. You can feel Christine's torment easily from your writing. And like I said before, their thoughts were good, too. Good work!
As for the description of the fanfic... better. But it's still easy to skim over. More details will help you out! :P
I hope you can get some more reviews. I added you and this fic to my favorites list to try to get more people to find you (even though I kinda doubt lots of people look at my profile, but hey, why not?). Good luck with getting up early so you can write more! I really do want to read more of your stuff. :)
15Luigi Number 1 and Sonic 2Hey, I'm finally here to review this for you. I'll try to be constructive since I know how helpful some criticism can be, but first off... *hugs* ;)
I liked it! Good job on the emotion. You really portray her feelings well - just be careful not to get too flowery. Personal opinion here, but sometimes when there's too much "purple prose" it bogs the story down and distracts from the plot. Also, I just have to point out that sometimes the word "said" is the best choice for dialog tags because you skim right over it when reading. If you use too many different tags, again, it distracts from the actual dialog. But those are just nitpicks, and I think it was pretty good. You can feel Christine's torment easily from your writing. And like I said before, their thoughts were good, too. Good work!
As for the description of the fanfic... better. But it's still easy to skim over. More details will help you out! :P
I hope you can get some more reviews. I added you and this fic to my favorites list to try to get more people to find you (even though I kinda doubt lots of people look at my profile, but hey, why not?). Good luck with getting up early so you can write more! I really do want to read more of your stuff. :)
7/21/2006 c1 19Operatastic SuperSop
I've never seen the movie or the play, or anything (but I've heard the music and my sister has revealed most of the plot to me), but I am a Phantom-Christine fan; however, that will not blind me with prejudice against your story, since my opinion is basically unfounded.
I feel incredibly sorry for Christine. She exemplified how I would feel. She has been deceived by the Phantom, and Raoul has been the only one left to defend her from his trickery. Well-written.
19Operatastic SuperSopI've never seen the movie or the play, or anything (but I've heard the music and my sister has revealed most of the plot to me), but I am a Phantom-Christine fan; however, that will not blind me with prejudice against your story, since my opinion is basically unfounded.
I feel incredibly sorry for Christine. She exemplified how I would feel. She has been deceived by the Phantom, and Raoul has been the only one left to defend her from his trickery. Well-written.