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for When Innocence Had A Face

10/4/2009 c2 1GothicPheonix
Please update soon. This is wonderful. And Is Jemima losing her mind a little, did she actually kill?
5/5/2008 c1 7ShelleyAmberRules
Wow!This is great. It's kinda different the way you characterized Jemima. I always imagined her as the sweet,innocent kitten. It's nice to see her have a bit of a backbone every once in a while.
7/18/2007 c2 2Adi Sagestar
Ah... I love spoiled innocence. :)
1/12/2007 c1 5Jellicle Jacquie
I like it so far, let me know when the next chapter comes o!

I think it would be interesting if either Macavity had killed Alonzo, then he tried 2 "get w/" Jemima, but Mistoffelees saves her.

Or, perhasp Bomba comes to her rescue sometime later in the chapter.

Keep up the good work.
8/16/2006 c2 1Maudey
Okay, great chapter, but, you'll have to explain how in Heaviside Jemima managed to take down Alonzo. Otherwise, great twist. And now, a little bone I just pick with everyone, Alonzo/Tantomile...Sorry, had to get that out of my system. Yes it is a bit of an obsession.

Now, ideas...ideas...You know, speaking of Jemima, I just drew a picture of her Van Gogh style (really creepy let me tell you). Sorry, I easily get distracted. Idea alert! Okay, in this chapter you never said that Alonzo was dead, just tat he was never coming home. Yes, it was implied but, I've implied worse. Anyways, Alonzo was dashing across the street and was bit by a car. He suffered head trama and lost his memory. Meanwhile, Jemima goes back feeling horrible about what she did and finds him alive without any realization about what happened. She decideds she cannot let him go back to the tribe for then she would be truely exiled for harming another cat. Thinking fast, she takes Alonzo with her and keeps him from his family, all the while still having a mountain of guilt.

Um, yep...
8/15/2006 c2 10Ashy4
Very nice, but sad, chapter.You would like an idea about how Alonzo was murduered? I say it would be good if it was just an accident. Like she was struggling with him because he wanted to take her back to the junkyard and she accidentaly killed him. You could run with it. And it's suggestion only. It is your story after all. You should write it how you see fit.
8/15/2006 c2 Alex0821
Black and white lifeless body? Alonzo gone for two days? *sniff* I think I'm going to go cry now...

I really like your writing style. The chapters could be a bit longer... Kudos for giving a little note to all of the reviewers; that's a very nice gesture!
7/25/2006 c1 PhantomFeline
OOHH! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT LOTS! I think ur right. Almost all the fics here star Bombalurina/Tugger/Demeter. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, but I'd enjoy reading about a different cat once in a while. Anyways, pweeze, PWEEZE continue! I LURVES IT! *croses fingers and whistles innocently*
7/24/2006 c1 16Sleeping Tiger
Hmm, well, interesting concept. You seem to like making queens leave the tribe, lol. But I like the idea of Jemima leaving the tribe for reasons (as it seems) that Grizabella left. It's like history repeating itself. Well, lets see, if you're open to suggestions, I guess I shall give some O.o Well, I'm most concerned with why she left. Sure, she suggests that she was tired of being the innocent one, but is there more to it than that, or had she reached a rebellious stage, letting pride getting in the way as not to return? I'm sure I'm just stating the obvious, though.

And you ask "What happened to the tribe?" I was a little surprised that that was brought up, I thought it would focus on Jemima, but if she really was a staple in the tribe, then I guess that could be a really good thing to focus on, or atleast come back to, as well. But my suggestions aren't going anywhere, so I'll leave that there. You can always PM me if you want help with ideas, but I trust your writer's judgement ^_~

Now, be careful of spelling and punctuation, as always, and I would like to see where this is going ^_^
7/24/2006 c1 7Robot Maddness Strikes
cool! love the way you did this! very exciting. p.s. I'm very bad at reviews.
7/24/2006 c1 24Puddycat
Hmm, ideas, ideas... She tries to make her own way in the world, but it doesn't work out, so she has to start sleeping with toms for food/shelter. Well, if she's going to go be like Griz, might as well go about it the same way, plus it would add to the "lost innocence" thing. Just a thought. Then one of the toms she sleeps with could be a Jellicle who recognises her.

A few mistakes, though; if someone says something, and who said it is after (if that makes sense) there shouldn't be a capital unless it's a name (ie /"...mean that!" The calico.../ should be /"...mean that!" the calico.../), and the abbreviation of "you are" is you're, not your. Your is something you own (ie, your computer)

Apart from them, I'm really interested in what's going to happen, this looks like it could be really good.
7/23/2006 c1 nodikus
Look's interesting.

Can understand Jemima getting sick of of those comments. That would get old really fast.
7/23/2006 c1 10Ashy4
Well it certainly is interesting. I never imagined Jemima as a second in comand. A bit young for it. But it's different and I like it.

Maybe if Jemima, when she left the tribe she got lured into something that promised her a great, respected life but only managed to make her life the complete opposite. Or she tries to make it and she just ends up living on the streets just trying to stay alive or something. I don't know. Hope you get some good ideas.
7/23/2006 c1 1Maudey
Hmm, Jemima second-in-command, didn't see that one coming. Anyways, great fan fiction, definatly unique plot. I would just space the first paragraph out to make it a bit easier on the eyes. Otherwise, I can't wait to see where this is going. I'm definatly enjoying this!
7/23/2006 c1 Alex0821
I'm still kinda confused as to why Munkustrap wanted her to be second in command... I thought that was already Alonzo's position, anyway.

I'm definitely rooting for Jemima - I always thought Victoria was a bit of a snob. Great writing style, and good luck with the plot!

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