for from the village hiddin in the flames of hell5/20/2008 c1 
2Crimsonlink310
hmm i will read it but if there is yaoi i will stop other then that its good so far keep on working hard
2Crimsonlink310hmm i will read it but if there is yaoi i will stop other then that its good so far keep on working hard
5/14/2008 c19 3Mille Seseau
YAY!
^_^ (smiling like a crazed maniac and bouncing around her home doing the cramel danzen dance)
I LOVE YA!
3Mille SeseauYAY!
^_^ (smiling like a crazed maniac and bouncing around her home doing the cramel danzen dance)
I LOVE YA!
5/12/2008 c18 Mille Seseau
NO
Don't take it off I just read this in one day and you got me soo into it Please think of the little people!
NO
Don't take it off I just read this in one day and you got me soo into it Please think of the little people!
3/8/2008 c1 1Havella-Bonnice
Hellos i like your story i think you might be like to my story will please read of it please and make review from Havella-Bonnice
1Havella-BonniceHellos i like your story i think you might be like to my story will please read of it please and make review from Havella-Bonnice
8/6/2007 c1 6Sihouette The Jellicle Cat
I just read the first paragraph and first of all you are writing it wrong. Did you even read the rules of writing a fanfic?
1: Every time someone speaks, make it a new paragraph.
2: Every time its a new topic,(optional, but reccomended) make it a new paragraph.
3: The normal length for a chap is almost a whole page or longer.
4: Details, details, details!
PLease fix this fic the best you can, please.
Oh and grammar and spell check! Also OOCness is overated unless its a little bit. Not a lot.
6Sihouette The Jellicle CatI just read the first paragraph and first of all you are writing it wrong. Did you even read the rules of writing a fanfic?
1: Every time someone speaks, make it a new paragraph.
2: Every time its a new topic,(optional, but reccomended) make it a new paragraph.
3: The normal length for a chap is almost a whole page or longer.
4: Details, details, details!
PLease fix this fic the best you can, please.
Oh and grammar and spell check! Also OOCness is overated unless its a little bit. Not a lot.
6/11/2007 c17 Hineko
This is going to sound like a flame..but I'm not trying to be like that, it's constuctive critism.
This story might have a interesting plot if you devolped it alot more. Like details. I think I like the plot ,but you run thought it too quickly. Slow down and delevop. Also your grammer is...bad to say it bluntly. Do you use mirsosoft word? or openoffice to type it? has free downloads of it... Your speling is sometimes wrong. If you work on those things I think your story would improve alot. Is english your first langauge?
This is going to sound like a flame..but I'm not trying to be like that, it's constuctive critism.
This story might have a interesting plot if you devolped it alot more. Like details. I think I like the plot ,but you run thought it too quickly. Slow down and delevop. Also your grammer is...bad to say it bluntly. Do you use mirsosoft word? or openoffice to type it? has free downloads of it... Your speling is sometimes wrong. If you work on those things I think your story would improve alot. Is english your first langauge?
6/9/2007 c6 2ScarLet.Sri
hey wats up? it's me again! any wayz i love ur story as you know. i'm so sorry i haven't been readin it i was so busy! any ways... i know this is a little rude but you have quite a few spelling mistakes. if you want i'll be your beta? e-mail my if you want me to be k?
2ScarLet.Srihey wats up? it's me again! any wayz i love ur story as you know. i'm so sorry i haven't been readin it i was so busy! any ways... i know this is a little rude but you have quite a few spelling mistakes. if you want i'll be your beta? e-mail my if you want me to be k?
6/9/2007 c1 Vaey-san
Sorry if I'm putting you down but this story sucks. Your spelling needs working on and your grammar is absolutely horrible. With that said, hopefully you'll be able to fix your grammar and make this into a read-able fic.
Sorry if I'm putting you down but this story sucks. Your spelling needs working on and your grammar is absolutely horrible. With that said, hopefully you'll be able to fix your grammar and make this into a read-able fic.
4/20/2007 c1 Vanilla Aries
You need to improve on your grammar. One of the rules of ffn is proper grammar. Please do us all a favor and fix it, I would read it, but I can't because it's so distracting with all the errors. Try looking at other fics to see how they are written. Your dialogue is terribly written. I'm sorry to make you feel bad, but fix your story if you want people to read it. Quizilla is there for your bad grammar, but not ffn. Maybe only a few would read this story and like it, but please take what I said and fix your grammar and dialogue. Then, your story will improve and people will leave happy reviews. However, if you do not care, then go on doing what you do.
You need to improve on your grammar. One of the rules of ffn is proper grammar. Please do us all a favor and fix it, I would read it, but I can't because it's so distracting with all the errors. Try looking at other fics to see how they are written. Your dialogue is terribly written. I'm sorry to make you feel bad, but fix your story if you want people to read it. Quizilla is there for your bad grammar, but not ffn. Maybe only a few would read this story and like it, but please take what I said and fix your grammar and dialogue. Then, your story will improve and people will leave happy reviews. However, if you do not care, then go on doing what you do.
4/19/2007 c1 trombonista
Your grammar is appalling enough to get you reported.
Your grammar is appalling enough to get you reported.
8/22/2006 c5 ScarLet.Sri
yo sup luv the chap. ne wayz keep on writing i just joined fanfic like wat the startin of this month and i havn't even put up a story yet so i gotta stop readin and start typin.ne wayz c ya later
~sharm226654~
yo sup luv the chap. ne wayz keep on writing i just joined fanfic like wat the startin of this month and i havn't even put up a story yet so i gotta stop readin and start typin.ne wayz c ya later
~sharm226654~
8/22/2006 c4 ScarLet.Sri
cool! hope u update soon! ne wayz as u no i luv all ur stories and yah!so plz update.
~sharm226654~
cool! hope u update soon! ne wayz as u no i luv all ur stories and yah!so plz update.
~sharm226654~
8/22/2006 c3 ScarLet.Sri
sup good job on the chap. so ne wayz remember 2 respond 2 my reviews.c ya l8r!
~sharm226654~
sup good job on the chap. so ne wayz remember 2 respond 2 my reviews.c ya l8r!
~sharm226654~