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10/29/2006 c1 FlutFlut
Col... I love the idea of communes and nasty creatures and if-you-go-out-there-you'll-never-come-back stuff.

Anyway, just like to point out that you cant spell 'lose' for anything. one 'o', not 2, Megan.

*shakes head patronisingly*

Also... I think this sentence here could be said better:"Basically life would be their own paradise, and this idea went completely to the officials’ heads."

Maybe something like:"The idea of no social discord, no problems with money and no need for any governing body to intervene in the community pleased the officials greatly and so many flaws in the 'perfect human race' idealogy were ignored."

i know it sounds a bit wordy but i think something like this would tie in with the rest of the story better.

Other than that its really good.

EM.
10/25/2006 c1 hasnonenow
i really like the way this story starts. i hope you will keep writing on it.
10/20/2006 c1 Jjvalour
Sounds interesting so far, and are the Predators going to be playing a part in this story(any major ones)?
9/26/2006 c1 anonymous
"In to" is, for the most part, written as "into". Anyways, nice story. Update soon.
9/22/2006 c1 2Skarlet Melody
Love this story so far! Update soon!
9/21/2006 c1 8MoonbeamMadness
I really like this concept, I mean a civilisation surviving what one would think was impossible to survive. I mean it screams for regular updates. Really loving it.

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