for Lucky Escape10/5/2006 c1 
16amber-chick
hehe, i just noticed that you uploaded ur stories. i read em both but decided to review this one...lol its really good, and u prtrayed grub really well. war at the yule ball sounds pretty interesting...care to give me a clue?
lol
amber-chick (i'm sure u can guess who i am!)
16amber-chickhehe, i just noticed that you uploaded ur stories. i read em both but decided to review this one...lol its really good, and u prtrayed grub really well. war at the yule ball sounds pretty interesting...care to give me a clue?
lol
amber-chick (i'm sure u can guess who i am!)
9/29/2006 c1 2crystalocean
I have to admit, this is *very* good for a first timer like yourself! I'm impressed! But now to the concrit... ;D
First, I liked the way you rewrote this little passage in the first Artemis Fowl book. But you might want to add a disclaimer. I've heard of some fics being deleted by not having disclaimers. And since you're quoting straight from the books you're probably more at risk to that than other fics out there. But I wouldn't do that to you because I'm not that evil. =)
Also I've noticed how you use ' instead of " around your dialogue. Not only is it not proper punctuation, but it looks bad. (Oh God, I'm quoting my English teacher! *dies*) you also need to remedy that for obvious reasons as soon as you can. *cowers in corner from English teacher quote now* T.T
And also, *also* you spelled a couple of words wrong. We all do it, but I recommend you to use the slightly unreliable use of Word. It will pick up most of the things that are wrong, but some things - like names, places, etc. - won't go through it quite right. Like Verbal instead of Verbil for an example.
So, you're a new author here. I'd also recommend that you visit the Orion Awards. They're a series of awards for AF fanfiction authors. And it has a nice forum attached to it all where you can get feedback on your fics, request betas for your writing or just chat with other authors. It's a wonderful place, I highly recommend you come. There are a few links in my Bio to check us out.
I hope to see more of your fics, and I also hope to see you at the OA!
~Crystal
2crystaloceanI have to admit, this is *very* good for a first timer like yourself! I'm impressed! But now to the concrit... ;D
First, I liked the way you rewrote this little passage in the first Artemis Fowl book. But you might want to add a disclaimer. I've heard of some fics being deleted by not having disclaimers. And since you're quoting straight from the books you're probably more at risk to that than other fics out there. But I wouldn't do that to you because I'm not that evil. =)
Also I've noticed how you use ' instead of " around your dialogue. Not only is it not proper punctuation, but it looks bad. (Oh God, I'm quoting my English teacher! *dies*) you also need to remedy that for obvious reasons as soon as you can. *cowers in corner from English teacher quote now* T.T
And also, *also* you spelled a couple of words wrong. We all do it, but I recommend you to use the slightly unreliable use of Word. It will pick up most of the things that are wrong, but some things - like names, places, etc. - won't go through it quite right. Like Verbal instead of Verbil for an example.
So, you're a new author here. I'd also recommend that you visit the Orion Awards. They're a series of awards for AF fanfiction authors. And it has a nice forum attached to it all where you can get feedback on your fics, request betas for your writing or just chat with other authors. It's a wonderful place, I highly recommend you come. There are a few links in my Bio to check us out.
I hope to see more of your fics, and I also hope to see you at the OA!
~Crystal