
1/6/2014 c1 Somebody
Your story has some definite potential and the first chapter was very well written. You added an extra dimension by weaving song lyrics into the actual plot and dialogue. If you would like some constructive criticism, then I could offer you some regarding the last chapter. I think that Danny accepted his death too fast and that he was happy much too soon. I know i am not you, but if I had just died, and of suicide nonetheless, I certianly would not be joking and laughing, especially on the day of my funeral. I would probably feel some remorse and negative feelings after the incident. Sam and Tucker (also Jazz probably) would question him more about his suicide. They would be relieved that he was still around, but Sam would probably get a little mad that he had done such a thing. A worried mad though, not an angry mad. I appreciate you taking the time to post your unique view on suicide and the aftermath.
Your story has some definite potential and the first chapter was very well written. You added an extra dimension by weaving song lyrics into the actual plot and dialogue. If you would like some constructive criticism, then I could offer you some regarding the last chapter. I think that Danny accepted his death too fast and that he was happy much too soon. I know i am not you, but if I had just died, and of suicide nonetheless, I certianly would not be joking and laughing, especially on the day of my funeral. I would probably feel some remorse and negative feelings after the incident. Sam and Tucker (also Jazz probably) would question him more about his suicide. They would be relieved that he was still around, but Sam would probably get a little mad that he had done such a thing. A worried mad though, not an angry mad. I appreciate you taking the time to post your unique view on suicide and the aftermath.
8/19/2007 c2
1DrWhoFan10
Cute! *hands DP plushie* I like the Oppiset Goth thing thats cool! hope u continue wrighting other stories! :) ;) :P ;P :D ;D *_* ^_^ &_& $_$ MONEY! ;p _ ._. ~_~

Cute! *hands DP plushie* I like the Oppiset Goth thing thats cool! hope u continue wrighting other stories! :) ;) :P ;P :D ;D *_* ^_^ &_& $_$ MONEY! ;p _ ._. ~_~
8/16/2007 c2 Steph
Cool how you hooked Danny and Sam up in the end!
Cool how you hooked Danny and Sam up in the end!
8/16/2007 c1 Steph
Good it shows a totally diffrent side of him!
Good it shows a totally diffrent side of him!
8/12/2007 c2
9PunkMichPhantom
I really liked this story 'cept for the fact that Danny commited suicide! Well, that's really the whole plot... whatever! Great job! And don't you think that Danny is much cuter as a goth? I think so!

I really liked this story 'cept for the fact that Danny commited suicide! Well, that's really the whole plot... whatever! Great job! And don't you think that Danny is much cuter as a goth? I think so!
7/14/2007 c1
2Desolate Nightmare
Wow... that story's awesome ^^
I really like how you merged the lyrics and the story together (for some weird reason, I can never do that lol) I really enjoyed reading it ^^
And thanks for the alert on one of my stories (titles take forever for me to type) means a lot to know someone's interested enough to watch it and wait for updates ^^
Laters
~Jadie
PS: Second chapter would be very interesting to read if you were to make one.

Wow... that story's awesome ^^
I really like how you merged the lyrics and the story together (for some weird reason, I can never do that lol) I really enjoyed reading it ^^
And thanks for the alert on one of my stories (titles take forever for me to type) means a lot to know someone's interested enough to watch it and wait for updates ^^
Laters
~Jadie
PS: Second chapter would be very interesting to read if you were to make one.
10/29/2006 c1
5phantomwillow
very trangetyish... i love it.
i aree with the other reviewers you should make another chaper about how everyone reacts. then it would be perfeco!
With all due respect and chocolate,
- phantom-willow217

very trangetyish... i love it.
i aree with the other reviewers you should make another chaper about how everyone reacts. then it would be perfeco!
With all due respect and chocolate,
- phantom-willow217
10/10/2006 c1
38SevenOverThree
oh... I simply love it. it has such a powerful meaning, even though I dont know what it is at the moment. I Wish you the best of luck with your future works.
~Aspen .D~

oh... I simply love it. it has such a powerful meaning, even though I dont know what it is at the moment. I Wish you the best of luck with your future works.
~Aspen .D~
10/4/2006 c1
1Black-fox14
This was pretty cool! I liked it a lot, and the song went right along with the story! I think there should be either a second chapter or an epilogue. Either one would most likely rock!

This was pretty cool! I liked it a lot, and the song went right along with the story! I think there should be either a second chapter or an epilogue. Either one would most likely rock!