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5/6/2007 c1 10The Nachoman
So, basically a self-intro mixing in SM. R1/2 and at least a garnish of Tenchi.

Might become interesting once some more is written. I'll stay posted.

By the way, try drinking decaf.
2/22/2007 c1 17Krimzonrayne
A little wierd but interesting. I can't see where you're going with this... although, that does make it interesting.

A little mistake here and there. Things you shouldn't do as a writer is usage of shorten form (50m) as it breaks the feel of the story.

Most SI are generally frown upon. I know this isn't really one but if you don't read it carefully, it does read that way.

Will have to see more to comment.

oh yeah, I miss our chat too! I was without internet connection for weeks so I hadn't been updating.
11/1/2006 c1 9Vampwriter
Okay... This is jsut a little weird. I'll keep an eye on it.
11/1/2006 c1 Rift
Ok, um, wow. I'm not really sure where to start. First, the format is really weird. It comes off you're trying to narrate your actions in an RPG. Second, The whole thing comes off as a collection of cliches. Were you just stringing together a bunch of ideas you liked from other OC stories. Finally, and this is the big one, You might want to rewrite your summary. I mean, fowl language? Does your character say chicken a lot? Or perhaps that most feared of four letter words, Duck! Actually, that'd be pretty funny. In any event, I think you meant foul.

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