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for Lord of Benevolence

1/14/2014 c2 Badgedbadger
"It doesn't work too well because self-confidence is inside of them and cars are outside of them"
This sentence is perfect, and very much in character for your Keiichi.
4/18/2008 c5 shaithis1
I did not notice any difference in quality of story or writing style between your second and third pieces. Same praise, and same complaints, for both.
4/17/2008 c4 shaithis1
Its a little strange, even surreal, how Keiichi seems to admit so readily that he is something far more than human. Normally a person would try to hide such a thing in order to combat the typical reactions of fear and loathing of the unknown, or the effects of fame which he obviously does not crave. Even if he doesn't admit it out loud, as he did with the professor, he does as much by telling people he knows the answer to everthing and provides answers to questions he should not realistically know.

As I read I keep looking for the conflict in this series. Everything seems to deal with Keiichi improving the world, improving heaven, teaching gods, converting demons, amazing humans, and just becoming omnipotent and soaking up endless praise from everyone he meets. Most stories I read have the characters struggling against something that, when they beat it, usually makes them stronger somehow. That may seem formulaic but that is what most people expect. I fear you may be running the risk of boring your readers, despite the value you stories have from a philisophical viewpoint. Of course, it is your choice how you write but that is my free advice anyway, and worth every penny.

I can tell you have been involved in software development and/or systems administration from your descriptions of some of what Megumi works on. Also, you seem to do a fair amount of research a la Michael Crichton, so keep that up. It makes for a richer, more interesting story.
11/27/2006 c5 6Jakinbandw
Nice ending. I really enjoyed this fic. I think what I enjoyed most about these stories was how you described magic. I hope that you will continue to write OMG fics for a long time and I look forward to your next offering.
11/24/2006 c4 Jakinbandw
I really enjoyed this chapter.

Poor guy... Just because he dosn't get old everybody get's on his case.
11/24/2006 c3 Jakinbandw
A very aniclimactic chapter. I don't know... I just found this chappy to be slightly below average when compaired to the other ones... Maby it was the fact that nobody talked about the problems that the lord would have reforming and not slipping back into his old mindset.

I would like to point out however that this chapter is still head and shoulders above almost every other story out there.
11/22/2006 c2 Jakinbandw
Man this is good. I like both the plot and the style!

Hey... Isn't it only demons that bath in pools of lava?
11/20/2006 c1 Jakinbandw
Gold as always!

A cigar that makes the room fresh, What a novel Idea! I hope that you post the rest of this soon.

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