for Stranded12/16/2006 c1 
2Phantom5656
hey there. i think the idea you have is good so far. it's just that(and i don't mean to sound like a jerk or anything, but) you need to get some one to read your stuff besides you before you post it. and space it out a bit. discription never hurt anybody, so don't be afraid to use a little more. but aside from these things, i think you have a solid story idea! i look forward to reading more.
2Phantom5656hey there. i think the idea you have is good so far. it's just that(and i don't mean to sound like a jerk or anything, but) you need to get some one to read your stuff besides you before you post it. and space it out a bit. discription never hurt anybody, so don't be afraid to use a little more. but aside from these things, i think you have a solid story idea! i look forward to reading more.
11/27/2006 c1 satsu
Dear (hopefully) New Writer,
You need work and badly. First off get a beta, some one who has better grammar than you, to check your story. Secondly the enter key is your friend, use him some time. Thirdly, chapters in a story need to be longer, much longer. And be VERY, VERY CARFULL that your OC (Original Character) doesn't become a MARY SUE. If you wish for a link to a test to see if she is I might be a boul to dig one up for you... PM me if you want it.
Hoping you take my advice,
Satsu
Dear (hopefully) New Writer,
You need work and badly. First off get a beta, some one who has better grammar than you, to check your story. Secondly the enter key is your friend, use him some time. Thirdly, chapters in a story need to be longer, much longer. And be VERY, VERY CARFULL that your OC (Original Character) doesn't become a MARY SUE. If you wish for a link to a test to see if she is I might be a boul to dig one up for you... PM me if you want it.
Hoping you take my advice,
Satsu