for Fool Lystar12/6/2006 c2 
74cathrl
Interesting story, well written and presented. I'm enjoying it. Nice, sympathetic, non-perfect character, and one of the more plausible reasons I've seen for a non-canon Impression.
As far as the medical stuff goes, I don't know much about eye injuries, but I think that if there had been visible damage to it they'd have tested her vision to see if it had healed properly and she wouldn't have been able to hide her limited vision. There's a yahoo group called fanfic_med which exists to answer this sort of medical question for fanfic authors - you could try asking there for an injury which would behave in the way you need.
74cathrlInteresting story, well written and presented. I'm enjoying it. Nice, sympathetic, non-perfect character, and one of the more plausible reasons I've seen for a non-canon Impression.
As far as the medical stuff goes, I don't know much about eye injuries, but I think that if there had been visible damage to it they'd have tested her vision to see if it had healed properly and she wouldn't have been able to hide her limited vision. There's a yahoo group called fanfic_med which exists to answer this sort of medical question for fanfic authors - you could try asking there for an injury which would behave in the way you need.
12/5/2006 c2 2Rimmersworld
Hi
I enjoyed the story.
Can't help you out on the medical side of things,but there are many peculiar plants with healing properties on Pern that would likely do the trick.
One thing that stood out was the expession to do with nervious "cat".
I know the Felines were introduced in the latter books, but i'm not sure if the name "cat" was ever used.
Sorry if I'm too finiky, but i do like continuity.
I like your Heroine, and its good that she's not perfect like so many try to do.
I would be happy if she regained the sight in her eye, she's got enough against her already.
waiting for next chapter...goodluck
2RimmersworldHi
I enjoyed the story.
Can't help you out on the medical side of things,but there are many peculiar plants with healing properties on Pern that would likely do the trick.
One thing that stood out was the expession to do with nervious "cat".
I know the Felines were introduced in the latter books, but i'm not sure if the name "cat" was ever used.
Sorry if I'm too finiky, but i do like continuity.
I like your Heroine, and its good that she's not perfect like so many try to do.
I would be happy if she regained the sight in her eye, she's got enough against her already.
waiting for next chapter...goodluck
12/4/2006 c2 Tempeste-Silere
You asked for any medical knowledge concerning eyes.
I know some, but not much.
If the damage was to the optic nerve in the back of the eye or the back of the brain where the signals from the eyes get transformed into pictures the brain understands; than the damage is permantent and unfixable.
From what I understand of your story, Lystar burnt the eyelid and possibly the cornia(sp?) of her eye, the eyelid damage can heal. It depends on how badly Lystar burned her cornia(sp?), she could have given her self catarax in that eye; the only way to fix catarax is either laser surgery (burn hols in the cornia - might not work in this case) or have the lens of the eye surgicly removed and replaced with a plastic lens.
I hope that helps.
Your story is quite good.
You asked for any medical knowledge concerning eyes.
I know some, but not much.
If the damage was to the optic nerve in the back of the eye or the back of the brain where the signals from the eyes get transformed into pictures the brain understands; than the damage is permantent and unfixable.
From what I understand of your story, Lystar burnt the eyelid and possibly the cornia(sp?) of her eye, the eyelid damage can heal. It depends on how badly Lystar burned her cornia(sp?), she could have given her self catarax in that eye; the only way to fix catarax is either laser surgery (burn hols in the cornia - might not work in this case) or have the lens of the eye surgicly removed and replaced with a plastic lens.
I hope that helps.
Your story is quite good.
12/4/2006 c2 4Kitsuneko
Ooh, didn't see that coming. I think this is shaping up to be a really interesting story! I don't know much about the medical aspects of it, but everything looks good so far.
Hope to see another chapter soon.
4KitsunekoOoh, didn't see that coming. I think this is shaping up to be a really interesting story! I don't know much about the medical aspects of it, but everything looks good so far.
Hope to see another chapter soon.
11/30/2006 c1 4Kitsuneko
Ah, I think this is the first time I've seen a female bluerider MC. Interesting...
I thought the part where you switched from Lystar's POV to the weyrleaders' was a bit abrupt, as well as the switch back. It's also still a bit unclear, are R'lan and Reia her parents? Then again, you might be leaving that part uncertain on purpose...
Plus, that second paragraph there is rather gigantic, and hard to read. You might want to consider splitting it up into two or three paragraphs.
And now the major no-no: Pernese dragons do not have scales! They have leathery hide, which needs to be oiled by their bond.
Aside from that, you've got a few minor spelling/grammar errors, but overall, it's a pretty good story.
4KitsunekoAh, I think this is the first time I've seen a female bluerider MC. Interesting...
I thought the part where you switched from Lystar's POV to the weyrleaders' was a bit abrupt, as well as the switch back. It's also still a bit unclear, are R'lan and Reia her parents? Then again, you might be leaving that part uncertain on purpose...
Plus, that second paragraph there is rather gigantic, and hard to read. You might want to consider splitting it up into two or three paragraphs.
And now the major no-no: Pernese dragons do not have scales! They have leathery hide, which needs to be oiled by their bond.
Aside from that, you've got a few minor spelling/grammar errors, but overall, it's a pretty good story.