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10/11/2007 c1 cherubagent544
Thats good cheeky :)

Although I would say you ight want to elaborate a b it more at the beggining. Shes bored, and then suddenly her teacher is whacked with a stapler. Stretch it out a bit, it was to quick.
6/4/2007 c1 erin
hey, um

yeah, you still interested in being my beta and I'll be yours. i think I spoke about this to you ages ago.

oh, im oksana, btw, i just cant log in here, at school.

any more chapters soon?

if you want me to help you fix this chapter up, email me (eririnrin@gmail)


4/22/2007 c1 18theatricalice
It is a well written story. But it's a lot like the opening chapters of The Recruit. Try and individualise it a bit. The Letter to from Dumbledore was really good though! Thanks for the review, and keep up the good work!
3/8/2007 c1 BEN
This is rubbish!

It is too much like the first chapter of CHERUB

You have basically took the first chapter of cherub and used different names.
1/24/2007 c1 Cooky Dough
Oh, this was pretty good, and thrilling. Um, yes, indeed, you need a little work. but not bad at all. Okay, first of all we need to discuss using language you would in dialogue in writing. The thing is that you are not telling the story by mouth, but by writing, so you can't say, "Like ten minutes." If you take like out you are perfectly fine. (grammar wise.) Oh, well, chapter was kind of short, so I suggest the length a maximum of eight pages and at least five to six pages. That way it can hold peoples attention more.

Best wishes with future chapter.

12/2/2006 c1 4Namenick

For your first fic, that wasn't too bad! Maybe you could slow down a bit, for a chapter that short you fitted a lot in, but it was just a bit too fast. The last thing is trying to get someone to beta for you, there were a few errors in punctuation, but other than that, your story was great. :)

I'm looking foward to the next chappie!

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