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2/10/2008 c6 13XAOTL Omega
Are you going to continue? I can't wait for the next chap, you've designed each chap like an eps
12/9/2007 c6 8Narora
It was great. I hope you put up a new chap. son!
9/12/2007 c6 6Mikee1
This is a really good story. I like the style of writing, how they're all designed like episodes. Also, you've done a great job with the writing itself, you did well with capturing Ash and Hikari and making your OCs realistic.

I know you haven't updated in several months. Is this discontinued, on hiatus, or what? I wish you'd continue it as it's really good. And it's going to be Advanceshipping which gets extra points.
5/15/2007 c6 43EmD23
Awesome story. I really like the new Pokemon. The only thing that bothers me is that Ash's team is slightly unbalanced to due both Dragar and Houndoom both being fire types (Well, half fire anyway.)I can't wait for the next episode.
4/22/2007 c6 3the persuit of shiney things
Yay! Ash won! (He always does). Aquabullet. Awesome name. Very catchy. And Ryan the gym leader was something else. Sure gave Ash a hard time. But his friends had faith in him. Scott made his appearence (that kinda suprised me). And onto...Shock Town! And Hikari gets lost on the way. Getting lost is always fun! We!
4/19/2007 c2 6Tankerman
hey dude god story but i think you should no dog that magmars evolve form is magmortar and where you come up with magfire dude and dude you also hikari's pokemon wrong its not emperte its Empoleon and that little pink pokemon is a mime JR.
4/19/2007 c6 5PlagueXRoamer
Nicely done as always, Destinylegend, and thanks for putting in my hammerhead shark idea!

Hmm, 'protecter of the forest' Pokemon now, are we? How about a Grass/Steel type? Not sure on the form for that guy yet, though you COULD use some sort of Grass/Psychic Angel Pokemon.? 'Cause I've been reading/watching way too much stuff that involve Angels being some sort of guardians. Ok I lied about the earlier sentence, but so what, it's not like its a crime to lie (unless its some serious case). And anyway, that would be cool. A humanoid Angel Pokemon. Hahahaha. I used Psychic, by the way, as it seems...right, as angels are sort of enlightened people (ok lame, I admit to that) and Psychic Pokemon seem...enlightened too.

Ok my review sounds really lame now, wonder what's wrong with my creativity today?

This is PlagueXRoamer, signing off!
4/7/2007 c5 3the persuit of shiney things
Yay! Cool battles and stuff! And Dragar sounds absolutely adorable! (high pitched girly squeal) And you put in May and Max, two of my favorite characters (I agree about Drew he's a jerk with annoying hair). I can't wait for the next chappie!
4/6/2007 c5 lord orion123
Yep, love the way how you structure the story like the show. I wonder what kinda of pokemon the first gym leader will use? Maybe a couple of rock/type pokemon, or something, but I'm no genious...
4/6/2007 c5 5PlagueXRoamer
Nice, the way you do it seems awesome. Hey does Balla have a pre-evoulution stage? And can it evolve? By the way, got any ideas for another water Pokemon, cause I can tell you already chose one for the gym battle (the Aquabullet), but the other...How about something like a manta ray or a hammerhead shark? Or maybe something partially humaniod?

Hey, just wondering, when are you gonna introduce the Steel/Dark werewolf Pokemon I suggested? And can you make it such that Ash catches one? 'Cause he doesn't have any Steel OR Dark types caught yet (Wikipedia is so useful). Heck, Dragar is his first Dragon Pokemon too! (unless you include Charizard, who has the form, but not the typing)

Oh yeah, you forgot the line-up. On second thought, mind sending the line-up to me, and could you list the typing for each Pokemon that each trainer has? Please?
4/6/2007 c5 Ryuui Hatake
Love ur story.When is May coming?
4/1/2007 c4 lord orion123
I like how you structure the story to make it kinda like the shows. This fiction will be interesting!
3/27/2007 c4 4SPARTAN-251
You are getting better with the discription of both the tarrain and battles, which is very good. But you need to add some more character interaction(like body movemet while talking) and explain how the new and old pokemon look better.

Remember, the more detail the better. It's one of the things that get readers hooked.

I know i seem like a jerk for giving you alot of criticism, but i like they way your story is progressing and how your writing is progressing. Just keep adding more details and you should be fine.

Keep up the good work.
3/27/2007 c4 3MerlockVonBaron
Nice, a Dragar. Cool fic. Hope to here from you again.
3/27/2007 c4 5PlagueXRoamer
...wow. That's all I say before I burst.

Never expected Ash to, unexpectedly, catch a 'Prince of dragons'. Hey, I'm sorry if I sound rude, but you mind stating the line up for the current gang? (as in, Ash, Hikari(though I've heard that her English translation is 'Dawn' or something along those lines), John and Sarah) 'Cause I'm real confused.

Mind clarifying one part to me too? When you mentioned Dragar's final form being 'prince of dragons' and all, you meant, in terms of the game's version, its Stage-2 form? And when are you gonna make Ash and May (finally) meet? 'Cause that's my fave shipping with Abilityshipping. Thanks in advance!

Alright, sorry if I sound like I'm ranting. Adding this story to my fave list!
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