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for Narnia Love Story

1/8/2007 c1 2Ooh a Jellybean
hey brooke! sounds interesting. Two things to say, though. 1) Brooke kind of sounds Mary-Sueish in the beginning paragraph. I mean you could do with out the part about her saying she is amazing and everyone wants to be her because that doesn't seem to have anything to do with the story. The part about nothing happening seems ok because it has to do with her Narnia experience. 2) "Today is just a regular summer day in Georgia of 2006." could you find any more less exciting way to set the setting of the story. You could have put something like that along with paragraph one. "I used to think nothing ever REALLY excited happened in my life till this one day in GA in 2006. It was just a regular summer day..."
12/29/2006 c1 2Narnialover
love it love it love it!
12/29/2006 c1 showmetheSQUEE
right.

i see that you have two girls in 2006 go into narnia. narnia was destroyed in the 1940's-1950's. it no longer exists. read the books before writing any narnia fanfics.

and don't make them into mary sues. that's the last thing your story needs.

canon = a tool. not a toy.
12/29/2006 c1 4CTPx
This has some potential, but be careful not to make Brooke a mary-sue!

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