for Rescue Team Skeleton Key5/20/2008 c4 
7EkaSwede
Alrighty, as much as I like the MD series, I guess I should take my little time to summarize all your chapter in this review before I'm off to "Epic Gardening".
The first two chapters are short, although the first one being a bit more unique than othe MD fics out there, but there was room for improvement. Elaborating some of the questions and maybe even making some up. Chapter two was just... unneeded. It was almost idiotically short for a chater, and it changed the point of view (which could've been the reason for it).
Moving onto chapter three, I think it's kinda cool that the character's a Meowth, a pleasant break from Eevee. But the grammar is shaky, containing wrong punctuation within quotation marks.
When someone says something that doesn't end with an exclamation or question mark, it ends with a COMMA. Not a full stop mind you. Let's take an example shall we? ^_^.
-“Please wake up.” The Pikachu said.-
This is wrong, as the text after the quotation mark should NOT be capitalized, but there is an excpetion.
-“Please wake up,” the Pikachu said.-
See the difference?
Enough of grammar lessons for now. Throughout chapter three, little character development is shown, and I accidentally scrolled by the battle sequence. I mean really, try putting some description into it. What does the characers see, what happens, how does it happen etc etc.
Moving on to chapter four, it is noted that there is too much dialogue, as in chapters three. Well, it helps out with the slight character development that is shown, but keep in mind that the questionaire doesn't completely classify as character development.
/EkaSwede.
7EkaSwedeAlrighty, as much as I like the MD series, I guess I should take my little time to summarize all your chapter in this review before I'm off to "Epic Gardening".
The first two chapters are short, although the first one being a bit more unique than othe MD fics out there, but there was room for improvement. Elaborating some of the questions and maybe even making some up. Chapter two was just... unneeded. It was almost idiotically short for a chater, and it changed the point of view (which could've been the reason for it).
Moving onto chapter three, I think it's kinda cool that the character's a Meowth, a pleasant break from Eevee. But the grammar is shaky, containing wrong punctuation within quotation marks.
When someone says something that doesn't end with an exclamation or question mark, it ends with a COMMA. Not a full stop mind you. Let's take an example shall we? ^_^.
-“Please wake up.” The Pikachu said.-
This is wrong, as the text after the quotation mark should NOT be capitalized, but there is an excpetion.
-“Please wake up,” the Pikachu said.-
See the difference?
Enough of grammar lessons for now. Throughout chapter three, little character development is shown, and I accidentally scrolled by the battle sequence. I mean really, try putting some description into it. What does the characers see, what happens, how does it happen etc etc.
Moving on to chapter four, it is noted that there is too much dialogue, as in chapters three. Well, it helps out with the slight character development that is shown, but keep in mind that the questionaire doesn't completely classify as character development.
/EkaSwede.
4/3/2008 c1 A Handful of Words
This looks familiar! Hey! It's CheshireCatGrin! I know you from DA!
Does the name 'Eral' ring a bell?
Anywho, nice first chapter! Though you may want to work on descriptions...
This looks familiar! Hey! It's CheshireCatGrin! I know you from DA!
Does the name 'Eral' ring a bell?
Anywho, nice first chapter! Though you may want to work on descriptions...
8/20/2007 c1 Tarazilla
That was cool doing the questionnaire at the begining. Most of the mystery dungeons don't add that in, so that was something to see. I'm writing one too, so I might add that. (With different questions and answers.) Update soon!
That was cool doing the questionnaire at the begining. Most of the mystery dungeons don't add that in, so that was something to see. I'm writing one too, so I might add that. (With different questions and answers.) Update soon!