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10/11/2020 c1 pointy
lol, straight as a crowbar no change, like extra character just passing breeze (useless) how sasuke teach ninja way without chakra and OP world use Haki than chakra, mind you walking on tree, water or any surface, he is a... hmm... chakra is life energy and sasuke is a ghost, think it yourself
10/11/2020 c1 Son of sea 9 tail
I thought it was her boat and why have shanks still lose an arm I be honest never liked that part
10/11/2020 c25 Son of sea 9 tail
Good so far looking forward to more
1/27/2020 c24 isis424
1/25/2020 c2 SweetFudanshi
The amount of trailing off is amazing.

Every single sentence you trail off - that makes reading difficult.

At least use a BETA reader to help you proofread and improve the story. There's also Grammarly - the site - that can assist you in making this better.

Instead of the vast amount of '...' that's sprinkled exaggeratedly in the past two chapters I've read -and god forbid the rest of the story-, use semicolons (;), dashes (-), exclamation marks (!) and commas.

You're already excellent at using periods. :)

The idea you had was good but the execution could use some tweaking.

1. Is this story AU in One Piece or AU in Naruto?

We know it's AU in Naruto as Orochimaru takes over Sasuke's body and Sasuke's taking the road to 'Redemption' as quoted by the first chapter title, but what about One Piece?

Yes, Luffy gains a guardian but from what I've seen via reviews, brief skims of the chapters and titles, One Piece is just following canon.

Shouldn't Sasuke affect One Piece? Particularly Luffy, as he's the one that has Sasuke as a "Guardian Angel,".

This brings me to my second point.

2. How does XXX affect the story?

XXX meaning Sasuke or those cloaked people that interfere in his 'afterlife' in the first chapter.

With Sasuke being Luffy's guardian and accompanying the monkey since he was seven, Sasuke should be well aware of the world he's in and teach Luffy of all the dangers that said world contains. Doing this would mature Luffy or make him more self-aware.

3. What about the Character/s?

How do they react to XXX?

Does the world -as in the planet itself, not the people- welcome Sasuke? Does it try to kick out this new intruder?

4. What is the plot that keeps the story going?

Are you going to stick with Canon One Piece?

Will you defy expectations and change the world's course?

Will you add in scenes that aren't seen in Canon One Piece?

When will you make the fighting scenes seem more like real fighting? When will it seem less like standing and talking?

5. What about Naruto?

After Sasuke's body is taken over by Orochimaru, what happens to the Naruto world?

How does Orochimaru f*** up the world twice as much now that Sasuke's gone?

As said before, while you have the idea, you didn't execute it well; this makes it unsatisfying to read.

Change a few things in the future plot, keep it fresh and interesting.

If we wanted canon one piece we would have watched the anime or read the manga.

The excess amount of '...' makes me stare in awe. :)
8/7/2019 c5 1milpld
Okay, I'm done.
8/7/2019 c4 milpld
Okay, I'll read one more chapter to see if theres any actual change to canon. If not, I'll be dropping it. I'm not here to read one piece again, but to read how an inserted character changes the world.

Whats the point of having a new character in a story if the character doesnt make any actual change to the plot?
8/7/2019 c3 milpld
yep, no changes...
8/7/2019 c2 milpld
okay, no changes to canon so far...
8/7/2019 c1 milpld
So... Sasuke was useless in this chapter. Alright, lets see if you keep canon going on at all costs, as I'm expecting it to.
4/20/2019 c23 18AshK1980
Good work!
4/19/2019 c1 7Misadique
1/15/2018 c22 Speed Reader
Love it! Someone realizing the connection between Garp and Luffy, hilarious!
1/12/2018 c22 13foxchick1
Can't wait to see what happens next.
1/11/2018 c22 3Soulless Anti-Hero
been a very loooooong time, nice work. bit short through.
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