for The Raven Haired Boy and The Auburn Haired Girl6/22/2016 c5 Guest
Cool story
Cool story
9/6/2010 c3 
63stilessttilinski
Chapters 1,2 and 3 go wayy too fast, in mmy opinion. I didn't like chapter 3 (sorry) because Lily and Justine seemed so Mary Sue and perfect and...Lily was just SO girly, it was strange to me. Ad the ending with the 'I love you's was so rushed.
I liked chapters 4 and 5.
Chapter 5 was adorable :)
Chapter 4 was so angsty, but I really like the idea that her former best friend was going out with James. Iy was a great chapter, my favorite.
Sorry about the critiques, I feel so guilty now :(
63stilessttilinskiChapters 1,2 and 3 go wayy too fast, in mmy opinion. I didn't like chapter 3 (sorry) because Lily and Justine seemed so Mary Sue and perfect and...Lily was just SO girly, it was strange to me. Ad the ending with the 'I love you's was so rushed.
I liked chapters 4 and 5.
Chapter 5 was adorable :)
Chapter 4 was so angsty, but I really like the idea that her former best friend was going out with James. Iy was a great chapter, my favorite.
Sorry about the critiques, I feel so guilty now :(
3/2/2009 c3 2oceany
I'm sorry that I'm going to do this! I just don't quite like this story as much as your others. The people seem to be so out of character and do things that they wouldn't normally do in their situation. It seems like everything happens without anything in between, like suddenly they go from not talking (not a mad at each other silence, just a regular not knowing silence) to being madly in love with each other and calling each other love. You might want to take things a bit slower so that they make more sense, rather than jumping too much.
2oceanyI'm sorry that I'm going to do this! I just don't quite like this story as much as your others. The people seem to be so out of character and do things that they wouldn't normally do in their situation. It seems like everything happens without anything in between, like suddenly they go from not talking (not a mad at each other silence, just a regular not knowing silence) to being madly in love with each other and calling each other love. You might want to take things a bit slower so that they make more sense, rather than jumping too much.
4/18/2008 c4 Gilligan
That was beautiful! Haha, i read this then went on youtube to find the song. So now im just repeating, over and over. And over. squee! well, i love all of your other stories in this too! this is just the first ive commented on. ;D
That was beautiful! Haha, i read this then went on youtube to find the song. So now im just repeating, over and over. And over. squee! well, i love all of your other stories in this too! this is just the first ive commented on. ;D
4/17/2008 c1 2HPPhoenix07
Aw, this was so sweet! I loved it! I love James/Lily. =] I did notice, though, that you wrote "Yes, I, Lily Marie Potter, am in love with James Bryan Potter." Shouldn't it be Lily *Evans* instead, as she and James aren't married yet? Just something minor, but on the whole this was great! =D
2HPPhoenix07Aw, this was so sweet! I loved it! I love James/Lily. =] I did notice, though, that you wrote "Yes, I, Lily Marie Potter, am in love with James Bryan Potter." Shouldn't it be Lily *Evans* instead, as she and James aren't married yet? Just something minor, but on the whole this was great! =D
4/17/2008 c5 iluvharryandron
aw
very very sweet one shot.
i really enjoyed it
and the way you wrote lily and james here
cant wait for another
aw
very very sweet one shot.
i really enjoyed it
and the way you wrote lily and james here
cant wait for another
4/16/2008 c5 89238497123
lol. FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
dude, you got it all. prefect. brilliant.
i think the plot bunny or yours needs to come around more often!
amazing.
lol. FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
dude, you got it all. prefect. brilliant.
i think the plot bunny or yours needs to come around more often!
amazing.
3/28/2008 c4 iluvharryandron
aw
poor lily!
extremely sad on her part
but it definitely worked.
great job
aw
poor lily!
extremely sad on her part
but it definitely worked.
great job
3/28/2008 c3 iluvharryandron
woww
that was so intense for jus a one shot.
im kind of diappointed because this really could haev been turned into a great fic.
you might want to think about doing more with this
justine was a great character you created.
but anyways i loved it
woww
that was so intense for jus a one shot.
im kind of diappointed because this really could haev been turned into a great fic.
you might want to think about doing more with this
justine was a great character you created.
but anyways i loved it
3/28/2008 c2 iluvharryandron
it was definitely not like the first one at all
one of the best ones ive ever read it james' pov.
i really liked it
excited to read on!
it was definitely not like the first one at all
one of the best ones ive ever read it james' pov.
i really liked it
excited to read on!
3/28/2008 c1 iluvharryandron
aw
that was a really adorable one shot.
im going to read this next one fastt!
aw
that was a really adorable one shot.
im going to read this next one fastt!
5/24/2007 c4 isabella
Oh, that wass so sad, and tragic. Beautiful! Keep it up.
Oh, that wass so sad, and tragic. Beautiful! Keep it up.
5/23/2007 c2 isabella
Um.. it was a little short but cute, I like James' point of view.
Um.. it was a little short but cute, I like James' point of view.