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for Lay Them Straight

6/19/2007 c1 5Mr. Deadman
I was just perusing the Trigun fics, and lo and behold I come across Alaena Night and I think to meself "Hm...I should read this. I haven't been disappointed yet." And I still haven't. This story was simply fabulous, creepy, and psychotic - which is why I love it. I'm not a Legato fan personally, which is why only the slightest hesitation crossed my mind, but I'm very glad I stuck it out. This was a most enjoyable read and very insightful into the sociopath's head. I can just picture the cute little bon homme now.
6/3/2007 c1 31Celesma
I loved this story. The fact that Legato would kill his guardian mainly to "forget him," rather than for the express purpose of revenge like Wolfwood, is very chilling and would seem to point to the emergence of the sociopathic tendencies we all know and love him for. The twist on the old nursery rhyme was sheer genius, too (especially this part: "No nine; no ten. She'd been dead by then"). I think the use of them in Trigun fic is really very effective, because the readers are struck by the huge discrepancy between the saccharine content of nursery rhymes and the blood-and-guts reality of Gunsmoke. It all adds up to make me feel really sorry for this kid with no name. Of course, things are only going to get worse when he's ushered into the sex slave trade, and picked up Knives. *sad* No new beginnings for him, indeed.

6/1/2007 c1 51Aseret Kitsune
Wow. This was amazing, chilling, psychotic, and so well written. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who can read/hear a nursery rhyme and instantly think about some extremely creepy story to go with it.

Hope you don't mind me adding this lovely thing to my C2.^^
4/29/2007 c1 h7384e2368
You shouldn't feel apprehensive AT ALL about this piece. It is beautifully short and sweet ... well, maybe not sweet, but you know what I mean ;) I too loved the "I'm trying to forget who you are to me" line. It was so chillingly IC. You portray the roots of Legato's mental issues, particularly his fractured sense of detachment (emotionless tone, crying yet not, etc.), beautifully. And I also concur with Girl.Interpreted that Legato needs to have experienced love in his past. You really can't explain his attachment to Knives without it: one never desires what we never had, we long for what we have lost. Kudos and keep up the good work :)
4/29/2007 c1 22KittiKat626
Geez, THAT was freaky. *Shivers* I've read Legato stuff ( I lurk in Trigun FF often ) but this just beat them all. Awesome job!

4/14/2007 c1 AmandaTheStampede
Wow, my heart kept beating faster and faster as I was reading... great story!
4/9/2007 c1 6Girl.Interpreted
What a brilliant use of a nursery rhyme. Perfect. Love it, love it, love it. Guess I'm a sucker for death and destruction with just the right touch of whimsical melancholy. Like Tim Burton. Or Edward Gorey. You're so spot on here. And I love the title. To hell with fluff. You rock the spook factor. Which is ironic when one considers how sweet and cute you are.

I like the idea that once upon a time Legato was loved. A character who's never been loved is flatter somehow. Especially when we're talking about super-villains.

Now on to the part of the review where I quote particularly delicious sections:

-"What are you doing, you worthless rat?" The fat man snarled, managing ferocity despite his circumstances.

The nameless child tilted his head slightly. "I'm trying to forget who you are to me."- very powerful. Something to roll around in one's head for awhile.


It was what he felt when he was shorter and lighter than a man with a broken bottle, or a bat...a stick...a knife. It was the helplessness he'd finally decided to put an end to. It was the core of his willpower to kill. Control...it was all he wanted. Freedom to live or die as he pleased.- Just a beautiful description, and a precise description of who Legato has tried to become: freedom from Fear.

-She'd fallen right next to him on the floor, eyes eternally open and beautifully blank, her long, slender form curled up next to his tiny one, bearing his blows even in death. His father had bashed her skull in.- Gah! One of those gut-kickers. Oh so good.

Also, I like that you didn't have him remember the last line of the rhyme until after the fact. It's just perfect. Fire should be cleansing, the way in which the phoenix is reborn, but this is such a twisted version that a fresh start is impossible. Instead of a blank slate, we're left with a contaminated foundation, something that will corrupt whatever is subsequently built upon it.

Brava, chica-bean. I totally loved this.
4/5/2007 c1 11pottachu
O_O; yeah, that was interesting and twisted. Like you, I find it hard to imagine Legato having a normal childhood unless something severe happened to change it. As for his ability, we all have to make assumptions. I'm not that far into the manga, but as for the anime, I know he had Vash's arm attached to him because Vash refused to work with Knives. I don't know if in the anime Knives really posses the same psychotic powers, not much is said, but plants do posses different abilities. one really can't thoroughly pinpoint Legato, but one thing is for sure, he is way creepy.

This story was well written and the title was great for it! I do like your assumptions, thanks for the read!
4/5/2007 c1 122000993902
Omg. I love the sick twistedness to this. XD ... I know shouldn't but you write it SO WELL! Everytime I think 'I'm not that terrible of a writer', I see something of yours and want to crawl back inside the hole I came from. I suck compared to these.

Anyway, back to the story. I actually thought of writing a Legato fic from his childhood awhile back, but nothing really fit for me...this, on the otherhand, was perfect. Great job. Keep writing! ^_^
4/5/2007 c1 une valentine
Uh...A little creepy. Just a little. Okay, I mean a lot. A LOT CREEPY. But I have to say, I loved it! xD Legato is quite looney, after all.
4/4/2007 c1 5Sugar Pill
... so screwed up. But good! Using nursery rhymes in horror fics is so twisted... and yet so cool! You're right, Legato is so messed up you almost have to assume that he had one hell of a childhood (I haven't read that far in the manga yet)... and don't worry about writing things that are too twisted! Everyone loves a little (or a lot) of creepiness... and if they don't, then maybe they shouldn't be in the Trigun fandom, haha. :)

Awesome job!
4/4/2007 c1 1CrystalRaindrop007
Wow ... that was weird and freaky and weird. Really weird. Anyway, awesome job! I will never, ever think of that rhyme in the same way again ... but I likie the story. It makes me happily weird. XD


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