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1/28 c80 Guest
please add more!
1/14 c80 Guest
All of You Are assholes For Attacking Author.. if y'all want to be productive then provide constructive criticism it's true that this story has cliches that's no excuse for attacking him.. why are y'all idiots reading the story the first place.

Does it have bad writing? in a sense yes.. but instead of acting like asswipes y'all could have put that time and energy in providing constructive criticisms without acting like Cunts... y'all could have simply provided ideas and constructive criticism if y'all cared.

Do you really think the Author is not aware of the flaws and cliches.. I was one of the first readers that actually enjoyed the story but many years later I'm aware of the shortcomings of this story.. but I'm not going to insult the Author when I payed little to no attention to its flaws in the first place.

If everybody care then please provide constructive criticism and please provide a request to for the Author to make a remake of the story.

To the Author.. have you ever thought about rewriting the story.. For Example what if Naruto and Sasuke had a more relatable friendship starting by a witness scenario where Naruto was at Uchia District During Uchia Massacre.

Naruto and Sasuke were originally Associates simply making small talk at first... however he heard Naruto heard Sasuke's cries of Terror and Saw Itachi chasing after Sasuke... it leads to Chain of events where Naruto attempted to protect Sasuke and Endure whatever horror itachi was About to inflict on Sasuke...As result Itachi casted the Tsukuyomi Genjutsu on Naruto,.. To Itachi Shock and impression.. Naruto Barely Withstood It and attempted and With Attacked Sasuke Both Kids attempted to attack Itachi.. Only For Itachi To Knock Them Both Out and Leaves..

It Took While For Naruto To Recover in the hospital.. however he earned the Loyalty of Sasuke.. Who Never Left his Side... Sasuke View Naruto As His Light... they become close as brothers.

Sasuke's hatred for Itachi remains.. in a sense even more so when he remembered Itachi torturing Naruto and felt powerless when it was Naruto that offered himself to be tortured instead of him... and at the same time he has a Fear Of Itachi' because of how powerful he is.

Basically Naruto and Sasuke relationship is basically the Utimate Bromance.. don't get me wrong Naruto Sasuke still giving each other nerves from time to time... but hey that's a typical relationship between Siblings Lol.

Sakura Starts off Annoying at First.. But he is safely become precious Friend To Naruto and Sasukefd.. Naruto Finds Sakura Cute and Annoying...So He constantly prank her after they are teammates... only to be shocked and impressed When She Pranked him back

As Kids They Will Act Like Kids

Timeskip retcon: being 3 or 4 Years Later.

Garara After Naruto Defeating him Will Still Have That Bloodthirsty Persona But Toned Down.. Only During and After Timeskip Is When He has The Chilled And Calm Persona after 3 or 4 years of character development and Bonding with his Siblings.

Sasuke does not defect.

Sasuke and Naruto Are both Mentored by'Jiryia.

Sakura and Himata are Trained by Tsunade...

Hinata after Timeskip is Kind... But Also Blunt...Sakura and Taunade are Naruto x Hinata Shippera And Want to Help Hinata.

No Chracter Bashing.. but looking at Danzk on no matter how much you try and look at it he is responsible for so many Unfortunate Events in the series... the Thrid Hokage is almost just as guilty for being too soft.. but in this story he has a redeeming quality where He was more involved in Naruto's life.. despite Naruto being Outcast he made sure that Naruto lived more comfortably.

The death of the third Hokage has more of a impact.. Because The Thrid Hokage Was Fatherlyvfigure too many individuals... Naruto and Sasuke Both Saw him as Grandfather.

Naruto and Sasuke Have One Major Bro Code... Never Fuck the Same Girl/ never touch the sloppy seconds of A Brother... Why because They see it as Incest aka it's no different then them having Sex.. which is A Yuck to them.

Rule 2.. They Inform Each Other Of What Girl They Fucked To Make Sure To Avoid sloopy seconds. Lol

Naruto and Sasuke admit to each other They find Sakura Attactive... Sakura Find them both Attractive...But... They Quickly Refused When Sakura Jokely Implied A Threesome Refusing To Fuck And Share a Girl...But Sakura Already Know Them Well Enough and Being A Naruto x Hinata Shipper reintroduce Hinata anf Naruto... And Well after Hinata Boldly Confessed To Naruto and One passionate Night With Hinata Resulted in Naruto Never Looking At or Bedding any Other Woman Ever Again.

Meanwhile Sasuke Wasted No Time Blowing Out Sakura Back/Fucking The Shit Out Of Sakura.
1/14 c32 2Tango777
Bro you are some ultra beta male xuxkold in yoyr real life i think
1/13 c29 Tango777
Fuck man just when I thought the story couldn't get worse. Some retarded fucking genins being sent to stop a jinchuriki of all things.
1/13 c27 Tango777
The writer of this shit has gotta be one fo the biggest retards on the internet.
The faggotry for a few characters is off the charts.
1/9 c80 PukC
The delusions of a Hinafag. May you have the weakness to gfkysasap, virginloser.
1/7 c1 housejan47
I saw this post on reddit
By u/The_Real_DirtyDan01

Naruto vs Sasuke: The Aftermath.

I can say with 100% confidence that this is one of, if not the worst Naruto fanfic on this site. Imagine a fic with every cliché that this subreddit hates and is shoved into a story that attempts to take them seriously. Now take that and multiply it by 10 and you’ll start to feel the pain I felt when I first read this train wreck back in my early days. It starts off after the VOTE fight at the end of Part 1 before going downhill.

Characters:

Every character in this fic is nothing more than a plot device to further praise Naruto. Many are inaccurately portrayed to make him look better and suck him off more than TenTen did Neji during the Chunin Exams.

One particular example is with Lee. Apparently, sometime after the Sasuke Retrieval Arc, Lee attempted suicide. I don’t really remember why, but it’s not that important to the topic. So everyone wonders where tf Lee has been for the past few days. Naruto sneaks into the hospital at night to meet up with Lee, only to find out he’s been put under suicide watch. This has caused a falling out between Lee and Gai, as Gai is disappointed he would try to extinguish his flames of youth

Now, this could’ve been an interesting way to take Lee’s character, as most fics don’t really do much with his character beyond canon. But instead of taking that chance, the author instead turns Lee’s attempted suicide about Naruto. While they’re talking, Lee then made the biggest mistake of his life; he said Naruto wouldn’t understand.

This of course triggered Naruto’s tragic backstory, with the author seemingly forgetting this was about Lee and going on a long tirade about how Naruto tried to kill himself, his happy attitude was an emotional mask, his team hates him; you know, the typical flanderization of Naruto’s childhood to make us ‘sympathize’ with him more.

Yes, this dude made Lee’s suicide more about Naruto then Lee. It’s a prime example of how everything revolves around Naruto. And then Lee is no longer sad because our savior Naruto made his suicidal tendencies and depression go away with that typical charm of his. Because that’s how mental health works apparently.

However, the worst was with the ‘villains’.

This dude turned Sasuke into a rapist sociopathic monster. There’s an entire chapter spent with Part 1 Sasuke raping Part 1 Sakura in detail. He then pisses on her and leaves her to be raped again by Sound Nin. Let me reiterate once again.

This man wrote child-on-child rape for cheap drama.

He gives no reasoning as to why Sasuke is like this, he just is. The moment he learns Hinata is with Naruto, he says he’s gonna rape her. He wines to Orochimaru like a spoiled little boy and it butchers his character to a level I’ve never seen.

Speaking of Orochimaru, he’s turned into a literal fucking pedophile. You know, that joke that was somewhat funny back in like 2007? It’s treated seriously here. Orochimaru literally has sex with Part 1 Sasuke. None of his intelligence in canon is shown whatsoever. He just lives to fuck Sasuke. And he also wants to rape Tsunade because reasons.

Kabuto is the third wheel and doesn’t really do much besides wanting to rape Kurenai because this guy couldn’t write a good villain if you put a gun to his head. They’re always a rapist because writing a villain with nuance is just too much for this guy to do. Gotta make them ultra evil so the audience knows how to feel.

Plot:

You tell me. The story pretty much came to a halt after the time skip. It’s just one big circlejerk of people congratulation Hinata on being impregnated by and marrying our glorious Naruto-sama. Did I also mention they live in Minato’s secret mansion, that stupid cliché that makes no sense because Minato is way too humble to buy a fucking mansion? But whatever, gotta give Naruto some way to learn Flying Thunder God.

And before that, it was just poorly done romance between 13-year-olds and pointless drama.

Writing:

This guy’s writing is so fucking transparent, it hurts. He writes these long paragraphs of fluff that could be condensed down to a couple of sentences. You’ll read an entire paragraph but feel like you’ve read nothing at all.

This also means the length of the story is kinda a lie as a large majority of it is just fluff. The chapters are long, and I mean long. The first 5 chapters alone has like 15,000 words and the entire fic itself is almost 1 million words, so it’s a struggle to get through.

He also uses Japanese multiple times, which disrupts the flow of the already bad writing. And the thing is, he translates them in parenthesis right after. So what’s the point of the Japanese? The dialogue used here is absolute shit. I’ll give you some examples.

"Now the Hyuga bitch, that's another story! I'd like to strap her to a table right now and have her churn out Uchiha's for the next twenty years! Orochimaru Sensei, please oh pretty please, may we go get the Hyuga girl and do just that?"

"Hinata may no longer be a hime to you Hyuga, but she'll always be my hime " Naruto replied with a smile on his face, as Hinata turned beet red and her heart melted at Naruto's sweet words of affection."

“Don’t I know you from somewhere? I know where I’ve seen you before, you’re one of the whorekage’s Jounin aren’t you?”

Please end me.

Romace:

Easily the worst aspect of this fic. Naruto and Hinata get together in like one chapter, with Hinata acting extremely OOC character and just confessing to Naruto on the spot. And of course, Naruto realizes he loves her (despite them almost never interacting before this) and they start dating. Because that’s obviously what I came to see; two twelve-year olds kissing and shit. He also has couples give each other pet names like “Naru-kun” and “Hime”, or Kurenai calling Kakashi “Kashi-kun” and it makes me want to put a bullet through my head.

And the sex scenes are fucking atrocious. Stop reading this right now, go to Chapter 61, and read it for yourself.

Are you back? That shit was trash wasn’t it? It’s literally every hentai you’ve seen, but in written form. This sound like how a 14 year old thinks sex works.

The author also has a habit of making people antagonistic out of nowhere to satisfy the ships. He made Asuma an asshole just to satisfy the Kakashi/Kurenai ship. He also made Kiba an asshole so satisfy the NaruHina ship.

A particular example is after everyone found out about Sakura’s rape, Kiba’s reaction is essentially “welp, she’s ruined. Guess I can’t fuck her now.”

This is usually a thing writers to when they can’t write romance; just make all potential love interest assholes so we have no choice but to ship the two main characters, because writing realistic romance actually takes effort and can’t just be done on a whim.

Bashing:

Wouldn’t be a shit story without some good ole bashing.

The main target, as I’m sure you can guess, is Sakura.

This dude seems to have a hate boner for her, as she goes through some of the most horrific shit in the story. She’s constantly yelled at and belittled by everyone around her, is raped by her teammate and a group of grown men and is further belittled. Her behavior from before is heavily flanderized. Apparently she’s verbally/physically abused Naruto in the past and never liked him.

Which is false. All the times she hits him is played for laughs and is nothing more than comedy. Not to mention it barely happens in the manga; the anime just played it up for filler. And the “verbal abuse” is literally just her calling Naruto an idiot sometimes, which is true.

If you don’t like Sakura’s character, that’s fine. But writing her being gangraped as a child is just atrocious.

Kakashi’s bashed somewhat as well because he favored Sasuke apparently, despite the fact he never did. The only time he did was when he fought Gaara, and Sasuke needed it because Gaara could tank a Hidden Lotus from 5 Gates Lee, couldn’t be touched unless you had faster-than-sight speed, was a Jinchuriki, and killed almost everyone he fights. Sasuke was fighting for his life, not Naruto. Not to mention he got Ebisu, who is said to be an elite trainer, to train Naruto. He’s also mad Naruto didn’t get Chidori, despite the fact you need a Sharingan to counteract the tunnel vision. He also claims Kakashi never liked Naruto, despite Kakashi saving them against Zabuza and the Demon Brothers.

But nope, gotta keep with the narrative that everyone’s against Naruto

Sasuke’s bashed, too, but I feel I don’t have to explain any further.

There’s more, but I don’t feel like explaining, so I’ll just list them:

Evil Hiashi, Evil Sakura’s mom, Evil Civilian Council, Evil Civilians, etc. Basically, everyone who doesn’t suck off Naruto is bashed.

Power scaling:

And the final punch to the teeth is a power wank. Jiraiya is one-shotted by Part 1 Naruto using a little of Kurama’s chakra, Hinata beats Mangekyo Sharingan Sasuke, and Tsunade can clap Orochimaru, who was able to keep up with her despite having no working arms.

Conclusion:

This story is a pile of shit and is a prime example of how reviews don’t always equal story quality. I usually try not to judge what people read; everyone’s tastes are different. However, I refuse to accept that anyone could like this fic unless they’re like 12. It’s the bottom barrel of this community and I will always loathe its existence
12/13/2022 c80 Kismyass
Wow, you really aren't allowed to post a negative review of this tr a sh.
12/13/2022 c14 Kissmyass
Funny how I am not allowed to post a negative review. Are you a mod? The mods here a psychoaf. Gfkysasap.
12/13/2022 c80 Guest
Dear lord, I hope you have gone and killed yourself because this is just trash.
12/1/2022 c80 Guest
Please end Naruto and Sasuke's fight in the next chapter with Sasuke's death, but please don't take all chapter to do so. you still have a lot of plots to finish with this story. You have Kabuto vs Kakashi. Orochimaru vs Jiraiya. You still have the Hyuga Clan civil war. Sakura's mother and Hiashi.
12/3/2022 c80 5jerniman
Imaginative way of helping out Hinata and the baby. I really enjoy the story and look forward to the next update.
11/29/2022 c1 HonokaBread
Kakashi couldn't teach Naruto Chidori because it required Sharingan to be effectiv fkr tunnel vision while charging with it
11/27/2022 c80 Illuminated
Well, I am sad to have come to the end of the eightieth chapter, but I have greatly enjoyed reading this entire story this holiday week here in the US. Not only did I enjoy the story, but also the commentaries on the manga chapters, although I read them back as they were coming out.
I am glad you persevered through the illnesses and computer misadventures and career ups and downs to work on this story. I am sure the future holds great things in store for someone with your talent and dedication.
I didn’t review much as I gobbled down these chapters like Naruto with a bowl of ramen, so now that I am done, I can comment with hindsight on various matters.
Characterization: i think you captured everybody’s personality really well, except perhaps Sasuke and Asuma. But to make him a true bad guy, I suppose making Sasuke dumber and more submissive to Orochi was necessary. And Asuma has to drive away Kurenai somehow to get the Kure-nashi pairing. Also, Tsunade seems to be the main POV for much of the first half, tile the training trip, I guess.
Plot: I missed the Akatsuki. Of course, you took care of the blond bomber and the puppet master off screen, and you had Itachi visiting after the second Oto invasion. I am expecting someone to swoop in after the Sasuke Naruto fight to grab weakened Naruto and perhaps Sasuke. At least if I was Black Zetsu, that’s what I would nudge “Madara” or Pein to do.
I enjoyed the vignettes like Erogenia and the visit to Tyrannus more, once I realized their purpose later on in the story. Whatever became of Hiashi? Does Hanabi not have close supervision on her, being the heir and all? And Neji’s civil war plan seems to have been dropped.

Pacing seems okay to me, good balance of battle, politics and romance. Kinda tired of romantic misunderstandings though, hope the hooker episode puts most of that to rest.

The story is gripping and great fun and I hope you continue it soon and often!
11/27/2022 c79 Illuminated
Glad that Sasuke didn’t go down so easy.
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