for The Marauders and Me9/22/2009 c13 
2DelilahMint
you should've totally made the song hero/heroine by boys like girls... it's their story in a nutshell! i love the story, i'm so like Char it's not even funny lol GREAT WORK!
2DelilahMintyou should've totally made the song hero/heroine by boys like girls... it's their story in a nutshell! i love the story, i'm so like Char it's not even funny lol GREAT WORK!
9/22/2009 c49 7Manic-Cheese-Fairy
Er. Well babies eyes are blue when they're born but anyway sweet I can't wait til Char's baby is born! Update soon!
7Manic-Cheese-FairyEr. Well babies eyes are blue when they're born but anyway sweet I can't wait til Char's baby is born! Update soon!
9/21/2009 c49 2Midnight LeAnn
when is a month ever calm in Potterverse? Duh! LOl i can't wait for the next chapter. TTFN!
2Midnight LeAnnwhen is a month ever calm in Potterverse? Duh! LOl i can't wait for the next chapter. TTFN!
9/21/2009 c49 Leslie
It was short but I liked it anyway. I hope you update soon. Still love the story.
It was short but I liked it anyway. I hope you update soon. Still love the story.
9/21/2009 c49 4Jade Lammourgy
Cool chapter ^^ I loved Char, and the way she thought about Baby Harry ^^
But, I was suprised by the end of the chapter...
July ended with a bang, surely August would be calmer. Yeah right...
Well, Lily and Char where pregnant at the same time right? How could it be, that Char didn't gave a baby in July :O
And it would be a big twist of a story, if you made the profit hit on Char's and Sirius Baby... That would be cool ^^
But anyway, great chapter! I really liked it, hope you update soon ;)
4Jade LammourgyCool chapter ^^ I loved Char, and the way she thought about Baby Harry ^^
But, I was suprised by the end of the chapter...
July ended with a bang, surely August would be calmer. Yeah right...
Well, Lily and Char where pregnant at the same time right? How could it be, that Char didn't gave a baby in July :O
And it would be a big twist of a story, if you made the profit hit on Char's and Sirius Baby... That would be cool ^^
But anyway, great chapter! I really liked it, hope you update soon ;)
9/20/2009 c49 TheNightimeSky
I'm not sure if I ever reviewed this - which, if I didn't, I'm so sorry; I'm a jerk, then, and you got cheated out of fourty-nine reviews - but I am now.
Here's the thing: Your dialogue formatting is - and has been for the past chapters - wrong. Here:
“Huh…who knew that Prongs would produce such a handsome baby” Sirius said grinning lightly and James hit his shoulder and Damien and mum laughed. I looked up at Lily and said;
“He truly is precious” she smiled and James put an arm around her shoulders. They shared a look and I looked at them curiously as I rocked the baby in my arms.
“Sirius, Char we have something to ask you” Lily said smiling and we looked at them waiting for her to continue. She didn’t…James did.
-
Should bE:
“Huh…who knew that Prongs would produce such a handsome baby[,]” Sirius said grinning lightly and James hit his shoulder and Damien and mum laughed. I looked up at Lily and said;
“He truly is precious.” [S]he smiled and James put an arm around her shoulders. They shared a look and I looked at them curiously as I rocked the baby in my arms.
“Sirius, Char we have something to ask you[,]” Lily said smiling and we looked at them waiting for her to continue. She didn’t…James did.
-
See what I did? I put in commas after all of the dialogue tags, which is what you're supposed to do in the case of [speaking] followed by a [direct action related to the speaking]. For example: "Hello," she said. -See how the action RIGHT AFTER the tag is direct? In the case of, "Hello." She smiled at me. There are two unrelated actions, and so that has a period after the tag.
Another thing - I know that it's a tad too late in the story - but Charlotte has some tendancies of a Mary-Sue - it just seems like she hasn't faced many obstacles in her years here [dream job, dream HUSBAND, BFF of The Maurauders, and guys lusting after her], and it depends on how much longer this goes, but just keep it in mind for the future, alright?
Good job - I'm curious to see if she stays in the realm or not.
-TNS
I'm not sure if I ever reviewed this - which, if I didn't, I'm so sorry; I'm a jerk, then, and you got cheated out of fourty-nine reviews - but I am now.
Here's the thing: Your dialogue formatting is - and has been for the past chapters - wrong. Here:
“Huh…who knew that Prongs would produce such a handsome baby” Sirius said grinning lightly and James hit his shoulder and Damien and mum laughed. I looked up at Lily and said;
“He truly is precious” she smiled and James put an arm around her shoulders. They shared a look and I looked at them curiously as I rocked the baby in my arms.
“Sirius, Char we have something to ask you” Lily said smiling and we looked at them waiting for her to continue. She didn’t…James did.
-
Should bE:
“Huh…who knew that Prongs would produce such a handsome baby[,]” Sirius said grinning lightly and James hit his shoulder and Damien and mum laughed. I looked up at Lily and said;
“He truly is precious.” [S]he smiled and James put an arm around her shoulders. They shared a look and I looked at them curiously as I rocked the baby in my arms.
“Sirius, Char we have something to ask you[,]” Lily said smiling and we looked at them waiting for her to continue. She didn’t…James did.
-
See what I did? I put in commas after all of the dialogue tags, which is what you're supposed to do in the case of [speaking] followed by a [direct action related to the speaking]. For example: "Hello," she said. -See how the action RIGHT AFTER the tag is direct? In the case of, "Hello." She smiled at me. There are two unrelated actions, and so that has a period after the tag.
Another thing - I know that it's a tad too late in the story - but Charlotte has some tendancies of a Mary-Sue - it just seems like she hasn't faced many obstacles in her years here [dream job, dream HUSBAND, BFF of The Maurauders, and guys lusting after her], and it depends on how much longer this goes, but just keep it in mind for the future, alright?
Good job - I'm curious to see if she stays in the realm or not.
-TNS
9/20/2009 c49 4accountabandoned4122012
i see the story alert in my inbox and say "u no what? who cares about hw i'm gonna read my favorite story right now" =D but now i have to go back to my hw so please update soon so i can go back to my procrastinating ways!
4accountabandoned4122012i see the story alert in my inbox and say "u no what? who cares about hw i'm gonna read my favorite story right now" =D but now i have to go back to my hw so please update soon so i can go back to my procrastinating ways!
9/12/2009 c48 Bathsheaba
wow. that person is a b*. What purpose could that have possible served? This story is amazing. That person must have a very sad and lonely life. Oh well, they're being flamed now arn't they? Keep going!
wow. that person is a b*. What purpose could that have possible served? This story is amazing. That person must have a very sad and lonely life. Oh well, they're being flamed now arn't they? Keep going!
9/12/2009 c1 1HansWorth
OMG! What is up with that person's review?
Why don't they just slap you in the face and be done with it?
Honestly, some people...
Well, nevermind them. I positively ADORE your story. I get so excited when a new chapter pops up...lol...
Anyways *clears throat awkwardly*, can't wait for the next update! ;)
xoxo
1HansWorthOMG! What is up with that person's review?
Why don't they just slap you in the face and be done with it?
Honestly, some people...
Well, nevermind them. I positively ADORE your story. I get so excited when a new chapter pops up...lol...
Anyways *clears throat awkwardly*, can't wait for the next update! ;)
xoxo